help this chrismas is going to be sad

mary-op

hob - a day centre would give you a break as well. Don't forget yourself..........you'll need some 'me' time
Good luck with all you're doing x

angie_baby

hey hob,

Just wanted to say you are great!

Def check the £1 shops, ive picked up some great bits for xmas already from there. Also check out the snowman soup thread, really cheap and cheerful and if you PM me your address ive got some spare cello cones, etc (i will post a link to the thread in a min) you can have to save you buying a pack.

Will be back with the thread, i think a poster on this thread started it actully

http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/showthread.html?t=1189961

falady

Hi Hob,

I've been reading your thread over the last few days, and just want to say 'good on you'. You're doing a great thing looking after your brother and I know you will manage to make christmas lovely for you both. I liked the idea of creating your own traditions, and i'm going to do some of that with my OH!

When you feel a bit more on top of things, if you want some cooking tips, there's always loads of good ideas on the old style thread. Also, if you let me know the kinds of things you like to cook, I'll try and send you some simple recipes and tips!

Love Ali xx

hob

angie- i have seen snow man soup poted in random places and i thought it was some kinda soup or mabe a jar of water like joke gift. i know right silly me! lol you dont need to send me your cello cones its a very nice offer but you keep them. you will have some for next year then. i have lots of jars i could all ways put the soup in there.
falady- thanks thats so sweet i guess im gonna have to learn to cook arnt i? aprently sandwiches and coco pops are not cooking. lol no no i can do little bits.

babymoo

Hob, I think you are wonderful! It takes a hell of a lot to take care of someone like your brother. You say you can't cook ... are you good with guidelines? e.g. if someone posted you direct instructions, step by step instructions could you then make a meal? That is easily done, I have learnt a lot of cooking from my mum in this way as I am hopeless with cooking usually.

Make sure you remember yourself this Christmas aswell, as I think you will spend so much time making sure that your brother is having a good time you will forget that you need to enjoy it aswell. Have you got a GAME shop near you? They usually have xbox games in which are second hand and therefore cheaper. Also as has been said keep a close eye on freecycle and ebay as you do get some games on there aswell.

As for your brothers DLA ... if he gets full whack he is getting a considerable amount each month so perhaps take half for yourself? The extra £200 will REALLY help with bills/food/buying extra gifts for him? Your still leaving him with enough for himself to treat himself but you really do need help and shouldn't feel guilty taking it off him. Have you spoken to your local council about housing benefit and council tax benefit? He gets DLA so he is entitled to some of housing benefit and council tax benefit aswell. If need be set up a rent book for him and "charge" him rent every month, not a stupid amount but something that will get covered by housing benefit just to take the pressure of you a wee bit.

Good luck hun xxx

joolesw1972

Hi Hob, you've done a lovely thing by giving your brother a caring home, esp when things are difficult for you. Do you have a CTLD (Community Team Learning Disabilities) worker? Usually a Social Worker or Community Nurse. Have they done a Carers Assessment or Financial Assessment?
I agree that his money is his (you would be suprised how many relatives don't) but his benefits should contribute to the running costs of the home i.e. Bills and food.
Are you sure that he/you are getting all you are entitled to? Some of the disability benefits are really complicated and using a wrong wording can make a difference to getting the money or not. Plus there are some benefits such as ILF (Independent Living Fund) that you are only entitled to if you are already getting a certain level of service, so, if you are attending a day service and getting respite, you might qualify, but if you don't get any support, then you're not entitled! Bizarre I know, but ask your Care Manager. It may be worth asking about respite anyway as you need a rest and time for yourself.

As for Christmas - involve your brother in making gifts and decorations, there are some great ideas on here, scour ebay and charity shops for gifts and try not to worry too much, I'm sure he'll appreciate your efforts. A couple of ideas for xbox games is to see if there are any he's got bored of - take them to GAME or somewhere similar and trade them in against new (to him but second hand) games, also try cash converters, Oxfam or other shops like that on line as they sell second hand games at more reasonable prices.

slash69

hi hob, have just read thru your thread you should be very proud of yourself for caring for your brother you have done a wonderful thing for him already by having him live with you, not many people of more mature ages could cope/manage that.....

regarding xmas you said you were going to try to sell your ds lite could you not gift wrap it and give to your brother instead of looking for an x box???? or failing that try game and gamestation as they sometimes have 2nd hand or refurbished x boxes...i bought dd a ps3 2nd hand one from gamestation with a 12 month guarantee a couple of years ago and i 've had no probs with it.....

xmas is what you make it not material things.. think about ww2 and what they all did to make xmas a happy, frugal fun time, how about getting a board game of some kind that you and your brother can play together xmas afternoon..

look after yourself and make sure you follow everyones excellent advice to get everything you and your brother are entitled to sending big hugs just a thought what sort of action figures does your brother like??will keep my eyes peeled for you down here in sunny :rolleyes: northants

hob

babymoo- we do have a GAME near by i will check that out. 'are you good with guidelines? e.g. if someone posted you direct instructions, step by step instructions could you then make a meal? That is easily done, I have learnt a lot of cooking from my mum in this way as I am hopeless with cooking usually' yeah i could problay do that. i have made cakes before from my nans cooks book and they were....fine lol if its not much harder then that i could do it. (shh im living in a dream world lol)
joolesw1972- they havent as of yet everything is waiting till the 22nd wehn he gets his spourt worker. i have filled in forms for his money to be transferd to the concil and he will get a alowance but thats not gonna happen till later idk why suport worker again?
slash69- my ds is pink and he would go mad lol. about bordgames its hard coz im not sure what he wheter or not he thinks there baby games (he gets upset easly) we had conect 4 and guess who but idk if hed still play them now (i would!!!)

today i orderd a poster from tesco (from the email) for my best friend i did have to pay shiping but at leats i can now give her something. plus i think she will really like it. im still a bit sick today so im puting off going outside for one more day. im gonna sew a pencil case for him today maybe paint on a spiderman or something (if i can find my paints) i will have a look for a stocking pattern as well. i have lots of random sewing bits in so that will be a free stocking filler. i can just get pencils for a coupple of pence at wilkos or something. when i do go out tomoro im gonna check are local charity shops for figgers like heman and xmen. i have got bratz from a few before but i havent really looked for boy things...ill let you know what happens. and im gonna post a ad up at the supermarket about my ds. i should also pop in boots and get socks for monkeys and snow men.

see when u put it like that it dont look mega expensive lol (note i left out the xbox wii and ds games ) as soon as my carpet is deliverd ill put money aside and stalk ebay and game ect.

thanks again for everyones advice and kind words!!! i stil need emails or postal address for christmas cards!

RustyFlange

HOB - Remember that there is a grainger games in Blyth they are as good as Game for 2nd hand games and sometimes have some fantastic offers on!

Socks - Check in Ethel Austins (opposite morrisons) as they had some lovely socks on Monday when I was in there and they will be loads cheaper than Boots!

As for selling your PINK DS I think ebay may well be your better option as I think you would get more money for it on there than selling it in the supermarket!

Check out Home bargains in Cramlington as you can get some good stocking fillers in there, and also there is a new poundland which has opened up in cramlington just up from home bargains which also has quite a few nice bits in there!

mary-op

hob - if you get a board game make sure its not one thats too complicated.............in the past we've made that mistake and got fed up before we played it trying to work out what to do............lol
You sound a lot more positive than the start of this thread -well done you:T
You making your own Christmas cards ? If you are (even if you're not) your brother might love to have a go.
Keep on top...........you're doing so well:T