help this chrismas is going to be sad

mcjordi

where are based hob..my BIL works at a kitchen/bedroom company and they scrap off virtually brand new ovens etc as the home owner decided it doesnt go with there new kitchen

hob

angie i wish he brought sweets then mabye i could steal some i dont smoke or drink but i eat sweets when im stressed jellys im really want some now but the guy in the local shop gives me a funny look like hes thinking 'again do u eat anything else ' lol some days i dont lol!

thanks sharon i think he will be making the chrismas decrations as i dont have any. and i think he will enjoy doing it. note to self get glitter. i dont know if i can get any exta money to help with looking after him as hes about to get a spourt worker i was told i could have one or the other and as im only 24 i dont really know what im doing.
negg, mcjordi thats a really good idea i live in blyth witch is near newcastle. how would i contact them just yello pages? you guys are being so helpfull it takes me forever to reply coz i cant stop crying lol

RustyFlange

hob wrote: »

thanks so much for you replys. im not gonna get any cearas alowance as i have requested he gets a spourt worker, they can do so much more then me.even just for things like taking him to see the doctor stuff he wouldnt want his sister to know. plus he need to have more then just me in his life,socialy. i will join up for freecycle now thanks for that. vikki i live in blyth (thats the north east) so no good for me. i am stalking ebay everyday lol. and there are lots of second hand shops i can try for action figgers ect. 'As for christmas, does he understand that it is christmas?? ' he understands gifts and that he should get what he wants im dreading this because have u seen the cost of a xbox game? and he wouldnt just want 1. thinking i might try and convince him retro is better get him a game boy or something....there is a chance that might work. (a chance in hell but still lol) the dvds sound grate and i all ready have lots of christmas ones so no spend there.(i got a bunch last year as gifts!) he dose get all his correct money dvla ect but thats HIS money i couldnt take it off him it has nothing to do with me. maybe he will buy all the xbox games before christmas any way lol.

'Im buying sky lanterns for christmas day (£2.95 from play.com plus money back on quidco), you write your wish on it and then set fire and watch it float away, it could be a nice way to finish your day with your wish for the year ahead together? Or is there a place you and your brothr could volunteer? Talking and helping people "worse off" might take the focus off what he has been through and make the day positive.'
i love the lanters idea thats so sweet and i would like to volunteer but i think it might upset him.

Hob

I also live in Blyth, (Just near the spartans football club)

If you need any help with making anything or ideas for hampers or anything else then please just shout out for me and I can either come meet up with you and give you a hand or anything like that. I am currently making up pots of gold and all sorts of things like that.
I am also on freecycle up here (local group is cramlington but covers a variety of the NE) and there are always things like cookers etc which go on there hence why I suggested it!

hob

oh wow i just moved hear a few month ago. what are 'pots of gold?' and i have just rejoined cramlington freecycle i was a member years ago but i have to apply again idk why or how long it will take. and to think i was just gonna give everyone a dvd and a remort eating monster and be done with it. my friends are raelly good so i can get away with just giving them babysiting hours and homemade gifts. 2 things i havent mentiond i cant cook so chrismass dinner will be 'fun'( and maybe burnt lol) and i dont have a tree coz i have a cat. if i got one he would kill it every day so i have to figger that out aswell. any ideas? everyone is being so nice to me im so greatfull for your suport.

jackieb

hob wrote: »

thanks so much for you replys. im not gonna get any cearas alowance as i have requested he gets a spourt worker, they can do so much more then me.even just for things like taking him to see the doctor stuff he wouldnt want his sister to know. plus he need to have more then just me in his life,socialy. i will join up for freecycle now thanks for that. vikki i live in blyth (thats the north east) so no good for me. i am stalking ebay everyday lol. and there are lots of second hand shops i can try for action figgers ect. 'As for christmas, does he understand that it is christmas?? ' he understands gifts and that he should get what he wants im dreading this because have u seen the cost of a xbox game? and he wouldnt just want 1. thinking i might try and convince him retro is better get him a game boy or something....there is a chance that might work. (a chance in hell but still lol) the dvds sound grate and i all ready have lots of christmas ones so no spend there.(i got a bunch last year as gifts!) he dose get all his correct money dvla ect but thats HIS money i couldnt take it off him it has nothing to do with me. maybe he will buy all the xbox games before christmas any way lol.

'Im buying sky lanterns for christmas day (£2.95 from play.com plus money back on quidco), you write your wish on it and then set fire and watch it float away, it could be a nice way to finish your day with your wish for the year ahead together? Or is there a place you and your brothr could volunteer? Talking and helping people "worse off" might take the focus off what he has been through and make the day positive.'
i love the lanters idea thats so sweet and i would like to volunteer but i think it might upset him.

Hi Hob,

I'm a support worker for adults like your brother. All the people I work with get money besides getting support. They pay the council monthly (for us) out of their benefits, but they still live in their own homes and get various amounts of hours support a week. Does your brother go to any adult daycare centres to give yourself a break too?

jackieb

Btw, I think it's a lovely thing you've done, looking after your brother. I see people left to their own devices who don't see family from one month to the next. Out of sight, out of mind to some.

3_cheeky_princesses

Hello

You sound like your doing a fab job already but providing him a home with someone as caring as you.

Maybe for Xmas eve you could do you a Xmas eve hamper. It doesnt have to be expensive maybe things you would of done anyway but popped into a basket or container with a bow on just to make it feel special and different. Things like Hot chocolate sachet with a new mug, Sweets or choocies, new pj's, new shower gel for a nice warm bath. If you can afford a new DVD (many places do quite a few for £2.99 upwards now Play.com or Asda.

Also if you can get online daily keep a eye on the freebies board and the freebies / low spend board and the Grabbit board as sometimes you can get some great stuff free or low cost which will help out as pressies etc for you both.

I would def go to a citizens advice bureau as it doesnt sound like your getting everything you should be and they will advise and help you fill out all the forms etc.

RustyFlange

hob wrote: »

oh wow i just moved hear a few month ago. what are 'pots of gold?' and i have just rejoined cramlington freecycle i was a member years ago but i have to apply again idk why or how long it will take. and to think i was just gonna give everyone a dvd and a remort eating monster and be done with it. my friends are raelly good so i can get away with just giving them babysiting hours and homemade gifts. 2 things i havent mentiond i cant cook so chrismass dinner will be 'fun'( and maybe burnt lol) and i dont have a tree coz i have a cat. if i got one he would kill it every day so i have to figger that out aswell. any ideas? everyone is being so nice to me im so greatfull for your suport.

Shouldn't take too long to be connected back onto cramlington freecycle.

Pots of gold are just a small bowl filled with gold coloured sweets, you can then add either a scratch card or a gift card, but they aren't essential. Here are 2 of my 4 pots



I used gift cards in mine as they are for my 2 SIL's who are both quite young and very trendy so wouldn't dare to chose a gift for them. OH normally just puts money in a card for them but I like to make a bit more of an effort!

Have you tried your cat with a christmas tree?? could you not put up a small one on a table so it is up a height and hopefully not so appealing for the cat? you could make snowflakes with your brother and hang them from the ceiling? also in wilkos and poundstretcher (both in blyth) they have the nice ceiling decorations and they are quite reasonable aswell (approx 59p-£1)

siren13577

I am very much in awe of you, it must be very hard in your present circumstances especially with the financial difficulties being unemployed presents, have you tried this link:

http://www.newcastlecarers.org.uk/

Also can you drive? If your brother gets DLA you may be able to get a car to help him and yourself out:

http://www.motabilitycarscheme.co.uk/main.cfm?Type=AIE&Source=Home

He should be in receipt of DLA at the higher level to get a mobility car.
You may also get winter fuel payment for him so it's important to get advice on what you are entitled to:
http://www.entitledto.co.uk/Default.aspx?AspxAutoDetectCookieSupport=1

or make an appointment with the citizens advice bureau who should be able to advise you and give you help filling in any essential forms:

http://www.citizensadvice.org.uk/

As for cookers and appliances you may need Freecycle is great, I've had a dishwasher and washing machine from mine but people give cookers away, alternatively there is a place called Revive (I live in the north west) or Bulky Bobs to locals which has a shop and refurbishes appliances people have gotten rid of, here is a list which may be handy for you:

http://www.frn.org.uk/directory/north_east.asp

I hope this helps and if I can think of anything else I'll pop it here. I do agree it can be very hard, I was one of five children in a single parent household and we didn't have lots of money and it was the little things that made it exciting for me at Christmas so I don't think it has to be very expensive to have a great time. Also depending on his disability could you see if there's a foundation for it where you can seek advice or support? Did you work for any organisations which offer support if you are an ex employee? Like the police,council or civil service? I know there are organisations within them that offer help and advice to ex employees like the civil service benevolent fund.

Anyway best of luck with everything and take care of yourself as well.

hob

sorry i took so long to reply i went to get sweets .....tut @ me.
jackie thats what my mum was doing to him she would take him money lock him in his room or put him on the streets just walking around with no where to go or any one to see , so she could get mortal and he couldnt get out or get in otherwise she would get him. and my younger sister who was also living at home claimed his cearas alowance and then go stay at her bf or mates. bascialy he was there cash cow. i cant belive i didnt know for so long (aprenly been going on for months but he didnt know to tell anyone) the long turm plan is to get him in suported living but idk how long that will be.

i like the idea of a xmas hamper and the pot of gold id leave the scratch card out as im not sure he'd understand it he might but idk. i have tryed duder(thats my cat) with a table top tree years ago he love it he thinks its a big toy. made one heck of a mess every 5 mins in the end i just left it in the corner and let him seak and destory. so idk what ele to try mabey get a photo of a tree lol