help this chrismas is going to be sad

hob

siren ur reply was not up when i wrote that i didnt forget you i promise. at are next meeting with his socail workers i will ask about that stuff. see i dont want to do anything with out there say soim terified of them as it is lol i dont drive so things like that would be no good to me.

mary-op

hob - don't be scared of soc.services.........they're there to help and support you.
You've taken on a lot and I wish you all the best. You'll get loads of support on here to help your Christmas go really well for both of you
Good luck xx:o

Gingerbiscuit_2

Hope you are feeling bit more postive about things, remember he gets income support and disabilility living allownace to "live on" its not just pocket money. Out of that should come his living needs like you or I would put aside, heating/electric/gas/water/housekeeping funds etc.

Dont feel guility for using the money towards household expenses espcially when you are on JSA yourself. Your not supposed to be supporting two adults on your income alone.

purplegirluk1

Hi Hob,

It sounds like you are the best sister he could have asked for, I am so impressed that you have taken him on at such a young age.

You said your oven is broken, you might be able to apply for a crisis loan from the DWP. There are lots of charities that supply assistance to disabled people and their families with things like house hold repairs etc so perhaps you should search the internet for some local groups. The social worker should also be able to give you details of these groups.

A bit of advice, write a list for when you speak to the social worker as it can be easy to forget things in the moment.

Keep an eye out on the Grabbit boards for xbox offers as they often come up. What others things is he into? Perhaps you could put some things up on here and we could post any offers we see?

I am disabled and have an occupational therapist, they give you advice about adaptations to your home etc. They will also thell you about other charities that offer support as well as social groups your brother can attend.

yippee_kye_yay

sorry i have no advice to give you but i just wanted to say what an amazing woman and sister you are. your brother is very lucky to have you in his life.
i wish you both all the best xx

elsien

Your brother is unlikely to get DLA at the higher rate unless he has a physical disability as well as a learning disability, or severe challenging behaviour, so don't get your hopes up on the car front.

Make sure that social services do an up to date community care assessment on your brother which you should also have input into as his carer. He should get a written copy of this, which will state what his needs are. Check this out before you agree to anything - don't go on verbal statements of "you have to choose between...."

You are also entitled to your own carer's assessment which will look at your needs and the support you need to help you look after your brother. They may well not tell about this unless you ask - you're no use to your brother if you're not coping, so make sure you get the help you need as well.

Bear in mind that some social workers are very helpful and others a complete waste of space. Double check everything they tell you with CAB or one of the carer's organisations. Also look into things like is he exempt from council tax (he should be), does he get housing benefit, and whether he can get any more help from organisations such as the independent living fund.
If you don't ask, you won't get - you might need to be quite forceful about things. Those that shout loudest, and all that. Don't be scared of them - they have a legal duty to make sure your brother is safe and his needs are being met, they're not doing you a favour by putting this stuff in, they're just doing their jobs.

I disagree where you say the money is his and he should have all of it. His income support is for paying rent, bills and food. It's the same for all of us - being disabled doesn't make any difference to that. Even if he has a disability he should have some understanding that life isn't just the nice stuff, he has responsibilities as well. If he knows he needs money to buy games, he is capable of understanding he needs money to buy food. Obviously some of it is his to spend on what he wants, but it's just not realistic (or doing him any favours) to not pay his way. He'll have to do it as/when he goes into supported living anyway, so he might as well start now.

Good luck, and I hope you get things sorted.

elsien

I forgot to say, as far as the prezzies go, lots of little cheap bits and bobs tend to go down pretty well with the people I work with as much as the more expensive things. They just like having lots of wrapping paper to tear off. (A bit like me really, I love lots of small packages to tear into!)

jetty

Going with the small theme, i did my girls' boxes last year, was a big box wrapped up, but i put lots of small things inside it all individually wrapped with shredded newspaper around it all so they had to find most of the presents! They loved it

Harrietxxx

I just wanted to say what a wonderful thing you are doing, and how brilliant everyone is with their suggestions of help, this is a truely inspiring community. :A

mcjordi

hob- i will ask him when i see him.. if theres anything going i will nab it for you
hell ill even drop it off for you