help this chrismas is going to be sad

Shortie

Hi Hob

I wanted to saw that I think you['re amazing to step in and help your older brother.

If he's into cooking (or even just activities shared with you, the cookie jars on the crafting thread might be a nice idea - not too expensive and a nice dessert for Christmas day? It soundslike you're worried about Christmas dinner - if you're after a traditional roast, you can gt the basted meats in the foil trays that have good instructions etc, and there's always Aunt Bessie's roasties! But then who says it has to be a roast, if that makes it less of a worry for you? xx

Regarding your brother's DLA, I do understand your sentiments about it being his money.. my 6 year old gets middle rate DLA and we don't touch it (we're saving it for any expensive medical equipement he may need later) but it was my Mum a little while ago you pointed out to me that it is Disability LIVING Allowance. I'm not saying he shouldn't have any money of his own, but it is there to help pay for him to live, and that includes for rent, food, heating, clothing....

xx

Also,

Blackpool_Saver

He is living in your home, you pay the bills and therefore he should contribute, so make sure you claim all you are entitled to.
This will give you BOTH a better quality of life.
As a carer you can still work part time and get carers allowance, it's very hard living and caring for someone like your brother, trust me I know, part time work will be more than enough.

clairehi

Hi Hob,

your post really touched my heart, what a brave person you are.

I just wanted to say that by taking your brother you are giving him a much, much better Christmas (and life) so I hope you dont feel that Christmas will be sad for him.

Its completely understandable that you feel overwhelmed by the responsibility at the moment, and I hope you are able to take some of the practical advice about benefits and support that has been offered here.

loulou123

Just wanyed to write to tell you that i think what your doing is fantastic. I was brought up with my uncle who suffers severe behavioural problems as a result of a brain injury (as i got older i used to help with his care, to help out my grandparents). It is hard work, but its also rewarding to know you are making a huge difference to someones life. Make sure you get breaks for yourself if this is possible, even if its just time for a coffee out, or a long bath.

Id definately go along to the CAB to check if your entitled to anything else, as it cant hurt to ask.

As for the cat and the xmas tree, i have the same problem, but last year my cat managed to get trapped underneath ours (after launching an aerial attack from the fireplace!) and didnt go near it again after that, so maybe try perserving.

I think what you are doing for your brother is fantastic and im sure times will get easier once you have developed a routine, as its early days yet.

rainmac

Haven't got any advice for you but just wanted to let you know that I'd read your post and I think you are a real inspiration. Your brother is very lucky to have you so don't go worrying about Christmas. For him it will be lovely as he has you x

hob

i cant belive how nice everyone is being to me. makes me feel bad for having a moan. i was sick this morning and so was my cat(can cats get human bugs) and i was getting very stressed out but after reading eveything you have all said i feel so much better. i havent had much of a chance to get things sorted today but i have a small bag of things i can sell likemy ds light i dont even use it. i also found soem chapish nintendo men on ebay. one of my friends ssaid to keep checking pound stores for toys and stuff. im also gonna write down list of everything i need to get from pjs to sweets so i can realisticaly see what i have to spend.
i was talking to his social worker this morning and she said that she was trying to get him in to a day group thing so he'd have time with other ppl like him. end of the month they think.
elsien he is on higher rate disability hes both mentaly and physicaly desabled and 'severe challenging behaviour'(only when he dont get his own way lol) but i dont drive and way and when he starts this group his suopurt worker will be taking him so there is no need for me to drive.
what everyone keeps saying about his dvla , he probaly should be helping with bills ect but maybe in a few weeks or so he hasnt had anything in so long and i just couldnt do it to him right now. again ill see what his souprt worker says (due to get him on the 22nd) i am gonna write a list coz i do forget what i wanted to ask them and i am a bit frightend of asking for things incase they think i cant cope.
i just want to say thanks to everyone for being so nice to me. i am finding things much less stressfull now im even willing to try a chrismas tree again lol. maybe not....idk yet.
angin thanks to everyone for being so nice and everything.

esmf73

I've PM'd you - please get back to me. Thanks xxx

jackieb

hob wrote: »

i cant belive how nice everyone is being to me. makes me feel bad for having a moan. i was sick this morning and so was my cat(can cats get human bugs) and i was getting very stressed out but after reading eveything you have all said i feel so much better. i havent had much of a chance to get things sorted today but i have a small bag of things i can sell likemy ds light i dont even use it. i also found soem chapish nintendo men on ebay. one of my friends ssaid to keep checking pound stores for toys and stuff. im also gonna write down list of everything i need to get from pjs to sweets so i can realisticaly see what i have to spend.
i was talking to his social worker this morning and she said that she was trying to get him in to a day group thing so he'd have time with other ppl like him. end of the month they think.
elsien he is on higher rate disability hes both mentaly and physicaly desabled and 'severe challenging behaviour'(only when he dont get his own way lol) but i dont drive and way and when he starts this group his suopurt worker will be taking him so there is no need for me to drive.
what everyone keeps saying about his dvla , he probaly should be helping with bills ect but maybe in a few weeks or so he hasnt had anything in so long and i just couldnt do it to him right now. again ill see what his souprt worker says (due to get him on the 22nd) i am gonna write a list coz i do forget what i wanted to ask them and i am a bit frightend of asking for things incase they think i cant cope.
i just want to say thanks to everyone for being so nice to me. i am finding things much less stressfull now im even willing to try a chrismas tree again lol. maybe not....idk yet.
angin thanks to everyone for being so nice and everything.

I hope he gets into a day centre. The one round here is lovely. He'll probably get on day trips and there'll be a Christmas party. He'll have company and it'll give him something to do.

hob

esmf73 - i did get back to you THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!
jakieb- im hoping that he will to just so he can have some friends that are not me maybe help take his mind of the family aswell.

esmf73

Have you got - or would you use a bread maker? Just wondering.