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"Bullying" on the forum

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  • zippychick
    zippychick Posts: 9,339 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 1,000 Posts Combo Breaker I've been Money Tipped!
    edited 13 October 2009 at 11:47PM
    I've just caught up with the whole thread, and was expecting some dramatic turn of events to have happened as I havent been online since yesterday, I hadn't even seen the inception of the thread, and I cannot believe the turn it's taken? Can you please get back to the topic? Or take it off the board, this is exactly the type of thing that puts newbies off.

    I'd also like to stand up in support of the board guides. I have a good idea where Andrea was coming from, here, and I think the accusations of bullying amongst a particular group of people, are a completely different issue to the spelling/grammar/lifestyle police we have all come accross on all of the MSE boards, not just on this forum. I think the board guides do a fine job, and would be sad if this put Pen or Pink off. Let's all get back to MONEY SAVING.

    Jackie

    Well said, I typed something very similar and deleted it. What's the point? I am really saddened people think this is appropriate or relevant.

    I wouldnt be surprised if this whole thread was deleted and OS shut down at this rate. People need to simply wind their necks in. I'm annoyed now.
    A little nonsense now and then is relished by the wisest men :cool:
    Norn Iron club member #380

  • momoyama
    momoyama Posts: 659 Forumite
    as the mother of a serving police officer I can confirm he would refer to an RTA ( road traffic accident)
    Interesting. As Minor Injuries Nurse (formerly Trauma Nurse) who deals with such things on a regular basis and therefore also liaises closely with Police Officers, I know that the phrase "RTA" was phased out some years ago in place of "RTC". Around 2002 IIRC. The rationale being that you don't know until post investigation if it was actually an "accident".
  • Churchmouse
    Churchmouse Posts: 3,004 Forumite
    momoyama wrote: »
    Interesting. As Minor Injuries Nurse (formerly Trauma Nurse) who deals with such things on a regular basis and therefore also liaises closely with Police Officers, I know that the phrase "RTA" was phased out some years ago in place of "RTC". Around 2002 IIRC. The rationale being that you don't know until post investigation if it was actually an "accident".

    I'll obviously stand corrected by you. Must remember to tell my son that Hendon mis-educated him. Maybe it's because he's not a traffic cop.
    You never get a second chance to make a first impression.
  • Triker
    Triker Posts: 7,247 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 1,000 Posts Combo Breaker Debt-free and Proud!
    Anyone got a vehicular gun cake recipe?:confused:
    DFW Nerd 267. DEBT FREE 11.06.08
    Stick to It by R.B. Stanfield
    It matters not if you try and fail,
    And fail, and try again; But it matters much if you try and fail, And fail to try again.
  • LMAO! Well said triker. (I'll dig one out if you like) ;)
    mardatha wrote: »
    It's what is inside your head that matters in life - not what's outside your window :D
    Every worthwhile accomplishment, big or little, has its stages of drudgery and triumph; a beginning, a struggle and a victory. - Ghandi
  • momoyama
    momoyama Posts: 659 Forumite
    I'll obviously stand corrected by you. Must remember to tell my son that Hendon mis-educated him. Maybe it's because he's not a traffic cop.
    Maybe he was educated by the same "experts" that taught me about guns?

    :D

    Sorry, I'm trying to reintroduce some brevity into this stinking mess that we've gotten ourselves into.
  • Bronnie
    Bronnie Posts: 4,169 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 1,000 Posts Combo Breaker
    I'm getting a weird kind of deja vue feeling with the way this thread's developed!

    It's very similar in style to a couple of threads that caused some controversy a couple of months ago on the Health Fashion and Beauty Board. :confused:

    Time for bed I think!
  • momoyama
    momoyama Posts: 659 Forumite
    Bronnie wrote: »
    It's very similar in style to a couple of threads that caused some controversy a couple of months ago on the Health Fashion and Beauty Board. :confused:
    I wasn't guilty there? Me... Health, Beauty and Fashion? Wonderful! :rotfl:
  • geordie_joe
    geordie_joe Posts: 9,112 Forumite
    1,000 Posts Combo Breaker
    NualaBuala wrote: »
    I wonder could we drop this?

    I hope not.
    NualaBuala wrote: »
    It might be this kind of thing that prompted this thread in the first place.

    I doubt it, we rarely get this in here.

    On the other hand it may show that the OP had a point. It may be that this board is nice, but it may be that some people feel that they get bullied if they disagree with people in here, so keep quiet. Then when others speak up about it they get the courage to speak up to.
    NualaBuala wrote: »
    Maybe a grammar debate is better suited to another forum - it's got nothing to do with Old Style Moneysaving anyway.

    I agree with you there, but I don't see this as a thread about grammar. I see it as a thread about people interpreting what others write in different ways.

    It is clear to me that some people will read a reply that disagrees with them and see it as fair comment, while others will see it as someone not "being nice to them", and others see it as "being bullied".

    Often not is not what is written, but the way others read it that is the problem.

    But you also have to take into account the number of people who speak up once bullying is mentioned. There are many who say this board is very friendly and they feel happy here, but just as many say they have the opposite opinion once they know they have the support of others.

    I read the Remoska thread then went and bought one because everyone in there said they were the best thing since sliced bread. But when I posted in there to say I didn't like it I was made to fell very unwelcome. One comment I remember was "If you don't like Remoskas, why are you posting in the Remoska thread?"

    I suspect this type of thing has happened to others too, they wander into a well estabilshed thread and say they don't agree and are booted out, well, made to feel unwelcome.
    NualaBuala wrote: »
    I'm not trying to antagonise anyone - just looking for a way to move on from this.

    ETA: Please! (Where are my manners? :D)

    Edit: Just to say I know that, no offence was meant to you personally.
  • ceridwen
    ceridwen Posts: 11,547 Forumite
    10,000 Posts Combo Breaker
    edited 14 October 2009 at 7:11AM
    Errrr....HELLO.......

    Can we all get back on topic please. Peoples spelling/grammar/correct use of words is NOT what this thread is about.

    What it IS about is bullying on O.S.

    Now - has anyone got any constructive suggestions please as to how to ensure this never happens again? It IS a problem that crops up intermittently and it does affect people.

    Some people are sensitive enough/p****d off enough that they just "up and run" and don't bother with the Board again. Others of us can "stand their ground" and will make a comment back at the originator - even if thinking afterwards "wish I hadn't lowered myself to their level....darn".

    But it is the case that this shouldn't happen in the first place. People need to remember that something they say perhaps in all innocence in their own "social circle" might be considered highly offensive in other "social circles". Some people are used to being amongst people who are very "politically correct" in their speech - and will feel (DO feel) "slapped across the face" by comments that some others might regard as perfectly normal.

    I know ITRW that I might want to make a non P.C. comment occasionally - but will "shut my mouth" and say nowt as the response will be stunned silence/embarrassed looks and a quick change of topic and have learnt myself how to look stunned/embarrassed if someone makes an inappropriate comment and "beat a hasty retreat" away from them if they persist. I have learnt that non P.C. remarks are something one very very rarely makes and then only to someone one knows will "hear it lightly" and probably even then I will preface it with a jokey "warning...warning....non P.C. comment about to come out alert:D".

    (JUST a little gentle comment - that on the O.S. Board threads don't tend to go off topic like this one keeps doing.........)
This discussion has been closed.
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