Do I kick him out?

Courgette

new_day wrote: »

I guess maybe its obvious to you all that he's making me very unhappy and yet I'm sat here hoping for some miracle, that its all a silly mistake and he really is as fantastic as I first thought he was yeah i know, i know, i'm delusional

Not delusional, in love and it's natural to want to see the best in the person we love. I think you know the answer yourself though; I found it a bit odd already though when you said he didn't realise you were seeing each other exclusively right at the start.

Good luck, and I hope the next few weeks aren't too rocky xxx

paddy's_mum

You already know all you need to, so it seems to me there is little doubt to be giving him the benefit of!

He had admitted to not one but two adulterous affairs - how very considerate of him to let you know that his little flaw is bed-rock dishonesty. Was he preparing you to understand that he doesn't believe in fidelity but needs his outside nookie? How can you be sure that it was "only two" during his marriage. How many have there been during your relationship?

He has already proved that his 'curiosity' is more than capable of leading him into yet more trouble. Doesn't seem to learn, does he? The problem is that this time it will be you who gets her heart broken. Are you truly so uncertain of the evidence of your own eyes, logic and instincts that you will step out in front of that runaway steamroller, rather than stand aside and avoid desperate injury?

mrbrightside842

Good luck with finding out, I echo the thoughts of him not just meeting someone by chance and having an affair, but him actually setting out to find someone else purposely.

Tia_24

Trust is the foundation of every relationship, if you dont have trust, you dont have anything.

Good luck tonight.

Angel777

It really does not sound good.

Trust your intuition.

Suggest to meet up with him from the web site and take all his belongings with you...

I hope you find out soon one way or the other.

Gavin83

paddy's_mum wrote: »

He had admitted to not one but two adulterous affairs - how very considerate of him to let you know that his little flaw is bed-rock dishonesty. Was he preparing you to understand that he doesn't believe in fidelity but needs his outside nookie? How can you be sure that it was "only two" during his marriage. How many have there been during your relationship?

I think thats quite honest actually. He could have just kept it to himself.

I guess the best way to know for sure is to arrange a meeting. However, you need to be prepared that you'll turn up and it will turn out to be someone elses profile. Currently you don't really have any proof, just strange behaviour, so if you want proof try and get some.

If it turns out he hasn't got another dating profile and he agreed to get rid of the computer completely for example, would it make a difference? It's clear you don't trust him, I think regardless of what you find or what he does now you need to move on. He could be completely faithful to you at the moment but it wouldn't really make any difference.

ailuro2

Wanted to add - how do you know he hasn't installed a keylogger on the PC to see if you know he's up to something?;)

You don't need all this cloak and dagger stuff to find him out - listen to what your heart is telling you, and you'll know what to do.

Best wishes.

skiTTish

OMG !! why are you doing this to yourself ??
Playing detective ..trying to catch him out ,checking up on him ..
All this must be making you ill ?!
If you are not happy and do not trust him ,forget all the cloak and dagger and teenage antics and just get out of the situation ,if you are unhappy and do not trust him then the relationship is not a healthy one ,regardless of whether his is up to his old tricks or not again .
Good luck ,hope you find happiness again ,be it with him or without him .

geri1965_2

There are some men (and no doubt women too) who can be perfectly happy with their partner and yet still seek affairs with other people - it seems they can separate love and sex easily. I used to work with a man like this - when his wife called, he would speak to her like she was the only woman in the world, but if any other women called him he would flirt outrageously with them, and I know it went further than flirting on occasion. I don't know if his wife was blissfully ignorant of this or if she chose to turn a blind eye. Of course, they may have had an open relationship for all I know.

However, if fidelity is important to you (and it is to me) then you need to realise that a man like this is unlikely to change. So you either put up with the heartache, or you walk away and find someone who has the same values as you do.

Alikay

I agree with Atomised, don't bother with any more detective work: You know sufficient to see he's deceiving you - just end the relationship. You don't need to justify or explain to him - all that will do is give him opportunity to throw you an excuse, lie or give a "reason" why you will have made him feel a need to do this. Just tell him you don't trust him and it's over.