Solicitor married to my doctor - uncomfortable about using

Savvy_Sue

gizmo111 wrote: »

and how would wife know off the top of her head if you were a patieint,

While I'm quite sure that the OP's real name isn't as unusual as blondeheadon, it may be a sufficiently memorable name not to have to check, or the OP may be a sufficiently regular patient that the GP would recognise it instantly, or the GP may have put together her DH's specialism in probate and a patient whose dad has not long died.

There are times when if you'd mentioned my surname to my GP he'd have recognised it instantly.

squibbs25

I think the solicitor has made the reference to you so you are aware of the connection between him and his wife.
I dont believe they were gossiping about you, they might have a relationship where by they actually talk to each other about their day but miss out things like names and other revealing factors, so by being extra cautious he's mentioned your name to his wife to see if she knows of you, therefore making a mental note of the connection himself.

I think it wa one of those comments off the cuff so to speak!
I dont think he would be silly enough to jepodise either his or his wife livelyhoods.

As for the doctor remembering a name, our family dr's know all of us by name which includes me, my 2 children, my parents, my sister and her 3 kids, i dont visit the dr's very often and when i do, it's normally child related LOL

I still think the solicitior has mentioned the connection so you can decide if you are comfortable or not.

Good luck in what ever you decide.

pelirocco

As an aside do you really need a solicitor to do the probate work for you? , Its normally pretty straight forward to do yourself

Lunar_Eclipse

If you're uncomfortable and would rather go elsewhere, you should.

However personally I see his actions (as you have described them) as professional; due diligence before your meeting. He then displayed his honesty by informing you of the information, I suppose to let you go elsewhere if you were uncomfortable. Personally I think it goes in his favour by showing that he is thorough, on the ball and professional, but I suppose that could depend on your medical history and any fear you have of it being discussed between them, which I also think is highly unlikely.

squibbs25

Lunar Eclipse you have summed up perfectly what i was trying to say!

gwhizz75

I agree with Lunar Eclipse. I think you are reading too much into his comment and by doing so you have come up with this bizarre scenario of your doctor and solicitor discussing your private life and medical history in bed.

I'm not a doctor or a solicitor... but if I was, I'd like to think that I'd have more important things to do than discuss my clients/patients with my husband in bed, or anywhere else for that matter. There is no indication that they are "gossiping" about you, I think he just wanted to make you aware of all the facts before you got in any deeper.

But like others have said, you obviously feel differently and no longer feel comfortable with him so change solicitor. However, if I were you, there is no way I would be making complaints about anyone - it's not like she disclosed the information to some random guy who could have been your stalker.

Lunar_Eclipse

gwhizz75 wrote: »

However, if I were you, there is no way I would be making complaints about anyone

Strongly agree with this.

The original post merely mentions client confirmation which I think was the right thing for the solicitor to do given the circumstances. The fact that his considerate action is (apparently) illegal I find quite distressing; what is the world coming to?

Please note that I am not commenting on the anyone's feelings about the incident; we have no control over how we feel about things, hence someone's comment about 'ignorance being bliss'. I sympathise with the OP's dilemna.

wannabe_sybil

Ruby_Moon wrote: »

Yes they are, but husband and wife do talk about people and such things when they are at home, no matter what their profession. After all, who is to know that they talk about the OP after sex?

Different strokes for different folks. When I worked at the County Court I never mentioned to anyone anything that could lead to someone being identified - even if it was, to my mind, completely innocuous. That includes talking to my husband, which was very frustrating because you see all sorts there and I just couldn't tell him some of the happenings. You know, the claims form that you read, then read again, then pass it to your neighbour who can't believe it either and then to the section head...

When I worked as a legal secretary there was no way that my husband heard about anything that identified any of the clients. Even the ones that were employing us on a commercial basis, it would be unprofessional.

Both professions have an absolute duty of confidentiality, far more than a clerk or a typist. Even if they are married. Neither profession should even discuss who is their client, it is unprofessional.

This does not mean that they are in any way incompetent, or inefficient or ineffective. However if you feel uncomfortable with your solicitor it is best that you find someone else. Even for something that can be relatively straightforward such as probate, you need to be able to feel comfortable with your solicitor.

I hope you feel better soon, OP.

Lunar_Eclipse

wannabe_sybil wrote: »

Different strokes for different folks.

I suppose the right way for this to have been handled was for the solicitor to inform the OP that he is married to Dr X who works in the OP's postcode, in the event that there could be a conflict of interest.

Thus the OP would have been the person to identify that his wife was her GP and whether to proceed with the solicitor or not.

I'm fairly sure his intentions were honourable; sadly it looks like it wasn't handled correctly.

Caroline73_2

The professional thing for the solicitor to do was to inform the OP that his wife, Dr X, was a GP in that area and that he was mentioning it because of OP's address.

The unprofessional thing for the solicitor to do was to ask his GP wife if she knew the OP.

I'm a nurse and have to abide by confidentiality codes of conduct, and there have been lots of times where things have been difficult but you don't discuss ever! I wouldn't even give examples in case they could be recognised.