Lost in the middle - getting organised and debt free

Marru

After all this positivity and getting somewhere I am hitting the rock bottom today. Just completely overwhelmed and the horrible migraine I have is making things worse.

I have started on two frogs but haven't got very far. Feel like giving up to be honest but I know it is not the answer as sooner or later things need doing and if later then they get more complicated and difficult to deal with.

Don't know what to do.

If you want to know about the Cafcass report, have a look at the post I just wrote to Matrix thread.

Off to clean litter tray and cook tea. Oh and I have had washing in the machine for ages waiting to be hung up perhpas I should run it through a quick wash before doing that... I need a housekeeper and a PA, Universe can I please have a jackpot in the lotto?

Marru

Weight loss has plateued (sp?), I don't think it is because I eat too much, quite the opposite. So I spent a fortune in Mr T today to get some nice things. I need to get DD to bed before cooking my supper as she opted to have something different and if I now go and cook my food she will have her nose on my plate saying: can I just have...

Migraine going strong. Luckily I have docs appointment tomorrow so need to talk to her about it.

Work feels poo. Probably because of the poorly head (and inflexible hours). They only seem to value the time you sit there on your bum, not what you get done while you sit there on your bum :mad: .

Still not feeling well enough to get the PC at home upgraded or to start my fleabay adventure. Or even to get unpacked. My packing dreams have came back. On Wednesday night I had a dream where I was manically packing to be able to catch a plane. Other people in the dream but nobody helped. Last night I was packing because I was moving.

My interpretation is that I have too much stuff physical/emotional/mental to move on and I fear that I miss out on something because I hang on to all that stuff (and also feeling that I have to do everything alone/nobody can help me). If anyone has better interpretation please tell me. I wish I could have an unpacking dream and then when I wake up the house would be all tip top organised and everything would be in its place.

Anyway, must get DD to bed as I am getting hungry. Also I need to take some painkillers that knock me out so I want DD in bed before I take them.

Marru

Head has stopped hurting - WOOHOO!

DD came back from beaver sleep over with head cracked. No - it wasn't that serious but BF had to take her to A&E for little patching. She should be ok to go to school tomorrow considering how she was bouncing around earlier.

So I didn't go to my needlecraft meet. Not disappointed as I have felt rather tired. So BF had a snooze on the sofa (while pretending to watch telly), DD was in the other room watching a DVD and I was upstairs reading. Nice and quiet for all of us.

Cat seems to be content and comes in the morning to have a fuss before I get up which is lovely. She keeps asking more food than I was advised to give her. I have given her little bit more so I really need to keep an eye on her weight.

Talking about food, I haven't had my tea yet so better go and make a humungous salad. BF cooked lunch and it was yummy. Pork chops with mushrooms and leeks. Served with salad for me and potatoes for DD and BF.

AND I have actually done some unpacking today. Feels good now. Still long way to go for finding places for everything but it is a good start. Well my motivation is that I need to find DD's passport. I know it is in the file with all other very important papers but I don't seem to be able to locate that file. I keep unpacking and hoping that I come across it. If I haven't found it by next weekend I need to start getting boxes out of the book room as that is the last place it can be. But that is a massive task.

Off to find what is in telly and if nothing then retire with a book. But food first...

Marru

Due to the bump in the head yesterday DD didn't want to go to school today. So I succumbed and let her stay at home. I left an answer phone message to my boss that I am not going in. Not heard anything.

So washing is up to date. Kitchen is sort of sorted (one pan and steamer to do), DD is now in bed, still haven't found that passport, tried to call this holiday club - got voice mail, emailed them - no reply, emailed solicitor - no reply to email or my please call me messages - running seriously out of time, enquired about new job with better salary - it had gone, been looking into getting excel certification - no reply to my enquiry, it has been too hot, drove to the garage around the corner to get ice cream for DD - so wanted to have one but didn't - determined to lose this weight, weight loss this last week only just over 1 pound, had a nice nap this afternoon - broken by DD coming to nag me to take her out for ice cream shopping but feeling better now despite the interruptions, need to go and hang the last load of washing then sit down with New Tricks and some back stitching.

beanielou

Dont mean to speak out of turn but it does worry me slightly how often you have to take time off work.

Marru

The point is that I always make it up. AND I went to work on the day I had booked as a study day. AND it stresses the hell out of me. AND my manager barked at me first thing this morning AND this was after DD had a major tantrum AND my car got stuck (badly) on roadworks this morning (they dug this great big hole I had to go over to get out of my drive. I AM NOT HAPPY BUNNY!!!!

Aesop

(((((((((((Marru))))))))))))))) and a squishy one

beanielou

Not a good day then.

Marru

Triggers for today:
- DD had tantrum in the morning
- Got stuck in the hole
- Manager being a prat
- Diet stalled and I am feeling fedup and would like to binge on chocolate and crisps (but I am determined not to and just keep going forward even than it is veeeeryyyy slooooow at the moment)

But to be honest none of these things would have bothered me quite so much if there wasn't this big thing hanging on top of my head - court date is Friday and that solicitor is still not communicating. So tomorrow morning I will contact another solicitor and praying all the powers in the universe that they take me on despite the short notice. I will be ok after Friday.

So now than I have calmed down a little. Lets try to look into the positive side of things:

- Kitty came to purr and have a cuddle when I woke up
- We have food in the house
- I took lovely four cheese salad for lunch
- I managed to get the car out of the hole myself without having to be lifted out
- DD got to school on time
- I got to work on time
- I am ahead of the timetable at work despite not being in yesterday
- I found a holiday club for DD for those missing days and they offer all the meals so no need to fiddle with packed lunches, have already posted the forms and a cheque for payment to secure place
- My two closest colleagues are lovely (even than my boss has zero people skills)
- Most of the washing is in and dry, practically no dirty wash lurking around
- Dishwasher is full of clean dishes
- I have a plan where to take my career and it feels exciting

beanielou

I wish you well getting another solicitor at such short notice.