Lost in the middle - getting organised and debt free

Marru

Aesop don't be too hard to yourself. I am not doing exactly brilliantly.

I have had a really bad day today. I can't even say why. It was a busy day at work but I have been doing something I actually really enjoy (sorting out a god almighty mess that I inherited from the previous guy). Or it could have been the fact that I had to go to the doctors to renew my prescription and they kept me waiting for almost an hour. Time when I was supposed to just "nip out from work quickly" on a busy day. Or it could be the fact that we didn't start our second reviews today. I had planned on doing them today and then concentrate on VAT returns tomorrow (must get them done before being on hols next week) so now I have to get the reviews AND the VAT stuff done tomorrow. Or it could have been because I took DD for her swimming lesson and it was terribly noisy there which after busy day was making things worse. Or it could be combination of all.

However I have:
- Got my prescription renewed and picked up the meds from chemist
- Also bought some styling mousse thingy for my hair (have been meaning to do this for eons)
- Called the framers to ask if the doggy has been framed - it is - he said he had called me - excuse me, I don't know who he called but it wasn't me.
- Done some more clearing of my personal emails

When I got home I fed DD and gave her pudding and drink and told her that she has to put herself to bed. What a horrible mummy I am. I tried to get some sleep but I just couldn't. So sneaked to the sitting room expecting to see her snoozing on the sofa all lights and telly on but bless her, she really had taken herself to bed. I feel rather awful now.

I shall watch the news and do some stitching and then hopefully I can go and get some sleep. I was so tempted to buy something stronger then decaf tea today on the way home as I knew that this kind of tiredness requires some external numbing aid. But I also know that that kind of numbing aids can get very addictive very quickly. And I have promised myself not to take antidepressants and then drink depressants. That doesn't make much sense. Perhaps next time when I go to the docs I should as for some sleeping pills for days like this. I am so exhausted I could cry but actually too tired for even that.

On the positive note I started to get some ideas for stand up scripts while I was in the chemist. I have never ever dreamt about doing anything like that and don't consider myself even remotely funny. But I shall go now and write them down. You never know...

Aesop

I still think you are doing better than me. Friend called today to say she wanted to come round, we were supposed to meet tomorrow. I had cancelled all appts for today including MS so could concentrate on house. I said yes to her coming round, didn't get anything done before she got here, so told her we were going to park instead. She wasn't happy and kept saying how cold it was, but I told her I had cancelled everything I had planned for today, so wouldn't have been at home to see her anyway, so I could do stuff.

I am getting annoyed and frustrated. I can't have another day off now until May, as 2 people in my team are off, and we can't have more than 1 off at the same time.... Might have to pull a sickie, take DS to nursery and then come home and do what i want to do.

What a fab idea about stand up scripts! keep writing! You never know where this may lead to!

And sorry to hear about work! Nothing worse than having to rush everything before a holiday.

And don't feel guilty about DD. She is old enough to put herself to bed, and it is not a regular thing that you do. DS woke up this morning and didn't wake me up, he stayed in his room playing, I woke up as I heard him saying something about Mummy sleeping..and to play with his toys. Now that's a bad mummy!

Marru

Not a bad day. Reviews weren't bad this time so were storming through them and got no guestions back :j And did have time for all the VAT stuff and also quick update on banks. One job that I didn't have time to do I managed to delegate to AP. Success.

However all that intensive working has quaranteed that I am pretty pooped now. I haven't really achieved anything else today. No emails, inbox clearing, phone calls, washing up or putting away clothes have happened. I really need to put one wash load on as we are heading to BF tomorrow straight after Saturday School.

So off to put DD to bed and put wash on. Then I don't really know what to do with myself as I don't think I can get to sleep but too tired to do anything except sit here and stitch.

Aesop, on Sunday mornings when BF is not here and we are not in his place DD serves her own breakfast and watches children's programs until I get up. I normally leave some serial (sp?) in a bowl and half cup of milk in fridge so she can pour the milk and help herself. And I refuse to feel guilty about that.

Aesop

Thanks Marru. DS doesn't know how to put on the TV downstairs and I am not showing him. Plus we are not showing him how to change channels using the remote control, although he knows how to put a DVD on to watch. he can put the TV on in our bedroom but he doesn't like our DVD player as it rolls back in as soon as it opens. So he just plays with the toys in his room until he hears me get up.

I might have to just start going to bed earlier, then I will wake up at the same time as him or earlier. :cool:

Today I didn't go to see my friend even though she kept insisting I would. I just needed that time at home. Cleaned the bathroom and have dusted most of upstairs. Still need to tackle spare room. and sort out my paperwork downstairs and the cupboard with all my ebay/other junk stuff.

I feel better for cleaning the bathroom and knowing that I am not ashamed of people coming in now. But I need to get on top of things and stay on top of them, so I am not rushing around like a maniac cleaning. It is actually getting to me now and am getting depressed.

but am trying what you suggested although I do a task for half an hour, then stop, doing something nice, and then go back. That is how I got the bathroom and most of upstairs done. I do feel satisfied seeing it done.

Well done on achieving all your work at work. That will make your weekend easier to enjoy

SW should be back online tomorrow night

Marru

Baby steps Aesop. Little and often. That is what I keep telling myself.

Successes of today:
- Went to Saturday School and was actually all packed and ready so came straight from there to BF without having to go back home to pack
- Did washing up before left
- Did load of washing and hung to dry before I left
- While DD has been making a mess in the church with BF I have watched 10 online lectures and started to get motivated about studying again.
- Painted my nails and they look lovely (natural and clear so little mishaps won't show but they still look tidy and groomed)

Now need to feed DD and put to bed. I and BF are going to a birthday party later so we will get fed there (potential MIL babysitting). I am rather pekish now thou. Perhaps I will be able to sneak to the biscuit tin without anybody noticing...

Oh ooops forgot to confess, went to Am4zon and quite by accident bought a book, well it is a K1ndle download. It is about eating frogs... :rotfl:

Marru

Here is the link to the frog conversation if any lurkers are wondering: http://www.eatthatfrogmovie.com/

Today pretty good day. Tiredness didn't kick in until around 4 pm.

Today's successes:
- Went to see a house (not right for us but anyway gives bit more clarity to my housing situation, more about this tomorrow hopefully)
- Took DD for haircut
- Went to the park with DD

And I went and took some mince out of the freezer so now I really have to put it into the slow cooker with some veggies that are lurking in the bottom of my fridge.

What didn't get done was:
- Put clean washing away
- Do washing up
- Do one load of washing
- Change bedding

So hopefully tomorrow at least some of those will get ticked off. I am so tired now that only thing I will do is to put the SC on and go and read/stitch before going to bed. Luckily nothing worth watching on telly.

ETA: Forgot to say that I did do more shredding so my recycling bin is full again and as the collection is tomorrow have put the bins out. Woohoo so I have now two weeks to fill it up again.

Marru

It is 11 am and I have had one load of washing on and have finally put the stuff in the slow cooker. That is one onion, half a cup of red lentils, one sad cabbage, few getting to the point of being sad carrots and two sweet potatoes with pound of mince and one can of tomatoes and some seasoning and chicken stock cube. It is on high so should be ready for tea.

Having now cup of tea before I am getting phone call from NHS about how they can help me with the depression. Just give me more energy please.

So I have few minutes before the call to have a browse around. After that will be logging off as more stuff to tackle before I get too tired again.

ETA: had the phone call, even that it is for my benefit why do they make me feel so upset. Anyway the conclusion is that I am mild to moderate depressed and they offered me 3 to 4 one to one sessions with psychologist to find the tools for me to use to manage my tiredness and my self esteem. Feeling rather drained now. Off for a shower then perhaps we will go and have lunch at Mr T and then get some clothes for DD from there. She wants to go swimming but I am so not up for it.

The_Dragon

Marru wrote: »

It is 11 am and I have had one load of washing on and have finally put the stuff in the slow cooker. That is one onion, half a cup of red lentils, one sad cabbage, few getting to the point of being sad carrots and two sweet potatoes with pound of mince and one can of tomatoes and some seasoning and chicken stock cube. It is on high so should be ready for tea.

Having now cup of tea before I am getting phone call from NHS about how they can help me with the depression. Just give me more energy please.

So I have few minutes before the call to have a browse around. After that will be logging off as more stuff to tackle before I get too tired again.

ETA: had the phone call, even that it is for my benefit why do they make me feel so upset. Anyway the conclusion is that I am mild to moderate depressed and they offered me 3 to 4 one to one sessions with psychologist to find the tools for me to use to manage my tiredness and my self esteem. Feeling rather drained now. Off for a shower then perhaps we will go and have lunch at Mr T and then get some clothes for DD from there. She wants to go swimming but I am so not up for it.

I hope the sessions work, and re DD can she swim and you sit at the side?

Marru

No she can't but I took her to Mr T for lunch and we got some socks for her and me (no nice trousers or shorts for DD there) then we went and got her Beaver uniform and after I had had a little rest (while she first played in the back garden with her scooter and skipping rope she did some jigsaw puzzles while I was stitching) we went to the park and saw seven tiny duclings before going to the play area for awhile.

I haven't decided how to entertain her tomorrow as yet. On Thursday BF is going to come and take us out and then DD has her swimming lesson in the evening.

Anyway not much more done today. The shopping trip pretty much finished me off.

Tomorrow's frog: washing up and if I can stomach any more frogs I really need to sort out my clean washing. Both I and DD have a pile of clean clothes on our bedroom floors. There is some on airer and some on line outside and her drawers are a mess, and I haven't unpacked since trip to BF over the weekend.

I have contacted my letting agent and asked to be moved on rolling contract. Haven't heard back as yet.

So going to have a browse and then log off for a quiet night with my stitching.

Oh - all the shredding has now been done. I am sure there will be more after I have tackled my boxes but getting this much done is fantastic!!!

Talking about tackling those boxes. This is how I am planning on doing the first round of sorting. I will have 8 piles/boxes/bags:

- Needlecraft stuff (to be decided later what to keep, give away, sell)
- Books to keep
- Books to sell
- Other stuff to keep
- Other stuff to sell
- Stuff to give away
- Stuff to bin
- Stuff to shred

Aesop

well done Marru, you have achieved quite a bit and your list sounds good too.

I keep saying I will do thing when I get home, then i open the laptop and find excuse after excuse not to do things... .must hide laptop from myself so cannot go on it until achieved work required....