Liability Order Application, urgent help plz!

Blonde_Bint

stressed_nrp wrote: »

bdt1 - I am glad it's not just me, (we've had all of what you mentioned - not letters though, emails and phone calls) I think if you explain that this is happening to anyone else they honestly think you've provoked it! Some of the things they've done have been absolutely terrifying - I mean the level of energy you need to keep up this campaign against someone, it must be exhausting. our pwc too ours is exactly like that, in the beginning and for the first 5 years everyone telling me I must have it wrong :eek: unless you have been on the receiving end of a campaign of hate on that level people just wont get it. However, when kids are involved it's worrying and stressful and they do not need to be involved in that, for a while there it was a tug o war situation which was doing the little one no good at all.

I didn't go ahead with an injunction, just a caution. I think the laws are great offering support for victims of stalking but I was passed between police and solicitors neither knowing the best way to deal with this. I had already paid thousands in sol fees for access and my partner has been silently supportive while I got eaten up with this (it's been most unfair on him, it's my problem and the ex has at times dragged him right into it, despite not even knowing him).

For everyone's sake I couldn't go on any longer, as long as they leave me and my family alone then I won't pursue vengence - the police who finally issued caution thought i was barmy not to take further - they were very happy to carry it on.

Having said all that I vow the minute I win the lotto I am suing the A*** off them

Stressednrp if you have not been on the receiving end of it then its very difficult to get across just how bizarre and bad it all is. I have even seen posts saying people dont know how the csa is used as a tool against an nrp:rotfl: how long have you got

I'm just ticking off the days on the calendar now, a vicious pwc is going to get a cold hard shock when her days of terror are finished.

btw may I suggest the minute you win the lotto you p*ss orf somewhere loverely forever, dont go spending your lovely lolly on the csa the ex will think you care:rotfl:

stressed_nrp

Blonde_Bint wrote: »

Stressednrp if you have not been on the receiving end of it then its very difficult to get across just how bizarre and bad it all is. I have even seen posts saying people dont know how the csa is used as a tool against an nrp:rotfl: how long have you got

I'm just ticking off the days on the calendar now, a vicious pwc is going to get a cold hard shock when her days of terror are finished.

btw may I suggest the minute you win the lotto you p*ss orf somewhere loverely forever, dont go spending your lovely lolly on the csa the ex will think you care:rotfl:

I hope those days of terror end soon, i'm assuming you are talking about the maintenance?, if what i've read is correct all nrps will be paying until child is 20, in education or not - I can see them knocking on my door in a few years.

Also if I was ever lucky enough to win lotto then i'd leave and instruct sol to extract as much cash as poss for mental torture... I don't want to fight, however I also didn't want to give away much more money than I could afford to pay for ex to have many many holidays a year.

Zara33

stressed_nrp wrote: »

zara33 - if you asked for your information you should have got all your information - not sure how long ago this way but go back and ask what the hells gone on!! - legally you have a right to all your information.

If I'm honest I can't be bothered fighting all the time, it's so draining! Mind you I take bursts :D the last time when I felt like this i was closing the case etc etc...but I forgot :doh: My NRP enjoys making things difficult, however I'm happy sitting here watching the child support build up every month he chooses not to pay.

stressed_nrp

Zara33 wrote: »

If I'm honest I can't be bothered fighting all the time, it's so draining! Mind you I take bursts :D the last time when I felt like this i was closing the case etc etc...but I forgot :doh: My NRP enjoys making things difficult, however I'm happy sitting here watching the child support build up every month he chooses not to pay.

I understand that it's exhausting esp with a difficult ex, however I would not count the money until you know it's deffo coming in. I mean there will inevitably be cases that are never paid I just hope for your sake it's not yours.

Blonde_Bint

stressed_nrp wrote: »

I hope those days of terror end soon, i'm assuming you are talking about the maintenance?, if what i've read is correct all nrps will be paying until child is 20, in education or not - I can see them knocking on my door in a few years.

Also if I was ever lucky enough to win lotto then i'd leave and instruct sol to extract as much cash as poss for mental torture... I don't want to fight, however I also didn't want to give away much more money than I could afford to pay for ex to have many many holidays a year.

Its not the maintenance that bothers me, its her actions Stressed. Shes a troublemaker and she enjoys it its like a hobby for her:D you know the sort of thing, you can come see son today so we turn up and guess what she didnt know we were coming:rolleyes: we drop him off after a visit and shes shouting and swearing 'you do nothing for ME' yes thats right we do for the child not you love. then she says i'm ringing the csa in the morning using it as a threat. She's a right piece of work Stressed, we booked a lovely family holiday stressed talked it through with her first she had all the details then to try to stop us going she suddenly said 'oh child cant go now' right after we went in and fully paid for the holiday. nice eh. We still went but without him, dont know if we did the right thing or the wrong thing there (easy to judge after the event) but if we didnt go on the holiday she would know she could stop us doing lots of things.

Dont begrudge paying the child maintenance but for the reasons given above i'll be glad when we are no longer eligible for maintenance payments as we will then have the freedom to do what we want when we want without fear of a spanner in the works:) Good luck to you Stressed, its not going to last forever (just feels like it sometimes:D)

stressed_nrp

Blonde_Bint wrote: »

Its not the maintenance that bothers me, its her actions Stressed. Shes a troublemaker and she enjoys it its like a hobby for her:D you know the sort of thing, you can come see son today so we turn up and guess what she didnt know we were coming:rolleyes: we drop him off after a visit and shes shouting and swearing 'you do nothing for ME' yes thats right we do for the child not you love. then she says i'm ringing the csa in the morning using it as a threat. She's a right piece of work Stressed, we booked a lovely family holiday stressed talked it through with her first she had all the details then to try to stop us going she suddenly said 'oh child cant go now' right after we went in and fully paid for the holiday. nice eh. We still went but without him, dont know if we did the right thing or the wrong thing there (easy to judge after the event) but if we didnt go on the holiday she would know she could stop us doing lots of things.

Dont begrudge paying the child maintenance but for the reasons given above i'll be glad when we are no longer eligible for maintenance payments as we will then have the freedom to do what we want when we want without fear of a spanner in the works:) Good luck to you Stressed, its not going to last forever (just feels like it sometimes:D)

Oh christ that's evil, what about the kids? I mean none of this is fair and they are only young a short time, i'm not sure what crosses the minds of PWCs who prevent contact, but they can't think that this is going to do their relationship with their children any good when these children grow up and remember all of this. For what it's worth I think you were right to go on hol, it's a situation you can't win and besides she wants a fight let her fight on her own, hopefully she'll soon give up.

I know it won't last forever, however my child is big enough to make a decision to see me, just not brave enough to confront the family. Someone posted earlier about rebuilding a relationship with a child after not being in their life, partly i'm dreading that. The only way you can move on is by pretending all is ok, bringing this child back into my life will open up all the feelings that i've managed to tuck away - not ready to go there again yet.

Blonde_Bint

Child will contact when good and ready Stressed, the important thing is that he knows he is welcome when he is ready whenever that may be, when he does he is left feeling welcome wanted and missed.:)

Our pwc was bad made life difficult there were a many number of years which were horrendous and felt never ending, I think it was worse when he was younger (under 10), there are a few of us on here who have mentioned situations that happened to us (nrp's nrpps) and we have experienced similar situations I dont think its a coincidence its what really bad people do. Its not a normal way to live and in the real world I have never met anyone whos had anything happen to them like we have. He's 14 now he makes his own arrangements pwc input is minimal and i'm looking forward to a time when child comes and goes at will, 3 yrs time he can pass his driving test then thats it he'll come and go as he pleases:j 3 little years Stressed. Bite sized chunks is what its all about, if you have an 18 yr stretch ahead of you and the opposition is hell on earth, make small milestones it might help you to get though the times when the brown stuff hits the fan.

chriszzz

Blonde_Bint wrote: »

Child will contact when good and ready Stressed, the important thing is that he knows he is welcome when he is ready whenever that may be, when he does he is left feeling welcome wanted and missed.:)

Our pwc was bad made life difficult there were a many number of years which were horrendous and felt never ending, I think it was worse when he was younger (under 10), there are a few of us on here who have mentioned situations that happened to us (nrp's nrpps) and we have experienced similar situations I dont think its a coincidence its what really bad people do. Its not a normal way to live and in the real world I have never met anyone whos had anything happen to them like we have. He's 14 now he makes his own arrangements pwc input is minimal and i'm looking forward to a time when child comes and goes at will, 3 yrs time he can pass his driving test then thats it he'll come and go as he pleases:j 3 little years Stressed. Bite sized chunks is what its all about, if you have an 18 yr stretch ahead of you and the opposition is hell on earth, make small milestones it might help you to get though the times when the brown stuff hits the fan.

That is right BB these awful situations do happen and its a sin!! My OH has had a terrible time I have seen a good man loose his identity as a father, purely down to a horrible, in-human pwc. He pays his maintenance and always has but that is all he is, a man who gives money monthly to his children who have now become to hate him, believe me when I say this man has done nothing but fight for his kids, he has lost his fight as a man because the system let him down.

As him having parental responsibility rights, that is a load of shizer!! how can he have responsibility if he can not do the things he used to be able to do as a father, the only responsibility rights he has is to pay for their up-keeping, children who hate him, who once loved him.

Sorry to rant on but there is no justice apart from paying child support.

Blonde_Bint

The only hope you've got is that when the kids become adults and they live their life they will realise that not all is black and white. When they experience some things for themselves they may come to question conclusions they came to in the past. No matter what a child says or what their angry actions are always leave the door open making clear they are welcome at their convenience, I believe they will always come eventually if for nothing more than to accuse, the outcome well that cant be predicted unfortunately. But when they turn up thats your chance

when ss is an adult I would like to sit down and talk to him about the situation we went though and explain things to him. We get along ok but I feel I owe him an apology I think there are things I should have done different, I wish I had done certain things different. I want to explain myself to him so he understands. sometimes in trying to do the right things we inadvertantly made the situation worse.

loobyloo0302

Blonde_Bint wrote: »

The only hope you've got is that when the kids become adults and they live their life they will realise that not all is black and white. When they experience some things for themselves they may come to question conclusions they came to in the past. No matter what a child says or what their angry actions are always leave the door open making clear they are welcome at their convenience, I believe they will always come eventually if for nothing more than to accuse, the outcome well that cant be predicted unfortunately. But when they turn up thats your chance .

Doesn't always work like that blonde bint.. unfortunately, the impression that a mother has on her children has much more of an impact.

I know people will judge, but I have my own children, I had just given birth to my second baby and decided that enough was enough. I did my best from the beginning to get to know my partners 2 kids, I spent time with them, spent money on them, went places with them, but all I got in return was comments such as "oh, we went to the post office the other day and my mum was talking about when my dad is going back to her." Constant comments with regards to, oh my mum said this to my dad and dad said this to my mum. Then there was the messages that were being left on the phone meant for my partner stating that he either sees them on this day at this time and thats all there is to it and why should he be spending time with my kids when he should be seeing them. (which I might add, he DOES NOT do, he probably sees his older 2 more than my 2 even though we live with him) To top all of this off, there was the constant phonecalls from his ex with regards to wanting more money as she knows he spent this amount this month and so on. She also knew about his offer of redundancy, as work sent his letter to the wrong address and she opened it, then informed him that she wanted a share of it.

You know, its not even worth going into the rest of whats been said by them to get at me, all I know is that since february, my life is MY kids and my kids only. I am so so tired of trying to please everyone, so I have resided myself to the fact that I am a mother myself, I will look out for me and my kids only as sometimes it just doesn't pay to be nice.