despairing....

cathy163

I have just joined this site today to reply to InHell. She seems to be getting a really rough time. When you are down and feel the way she seems to you don't need people being downright rude to you as in case of Angela D.

Just wanted to offer piece of advice InHell. I would get paperwork returned from CAB if you feel they are being unhelpful. My husband and I have a DMP set up with CCCS and they have been our saviours. We started in Feb 2005 with debts of £155000 on top of our mortgage. We have cleared £21500 to date. CCCS have been really helpful and took over dealing with all of our creditors after the initial letters we had to issue to our creditors saying we would now be dealing with them thro CCCS. Every creditor accepted the offer made by CCCS so we no longer have threatening phone calls.

So what i want to say is do not despair there si help out there. I was sure CCCS would say that we should go bankrupt but they didn't. They did give us details of how we would go down IVA route but to be honest we couldn't afford the cost plus if there was risk of subsequently going bankrupt we would ahev lost everything anyway. Plus we got ourselves into thsi mess - noone forced credit cards on us so feel we need to get ourselves out of it. Having interest frozen means we can see an end in sight even if it si good few years off.

I too was depressed about our debts but after getting DMP set up felt like huge burden had been lifted. It is not easy but we have a budget with CCCS which we can live on and not worry.

Sorry for prattling on but hope I have been of some help

Pobby

Angela D----quote I'm a fantastic friend I can assure you, but then I am only friends with the financially solvent

---

So why the !!!! do you post on this forum???????????????????

THE_LONE_RANGER_4

Pobby wrote:

Angela D----quote I'm a fantastic friend I can assure you, but then I am only friends with the financially solvent

---

So why the !!!! do you post on this forum???????????????????

becouse shes a moron

tesuhoha

THE_LONE_RANGER wrote:

becouse shes a moron

I think its called Scherenade (no doubt spelt incorrectly) or something like that. When you get vicarious pleasure out of studying those less fortunate than yourself.

sophistica

Was feeling drowsy after dinner and a few glasses of wine until I came on here! Some posters really do have unconstructive criticism off to an art form. I remember when I accidentally cut a hole in my cat, I was beside myself with grief and someone had the damned cheek to accuse me of all manner of cat abuse (BTW she is fine now and still loves me). I

f you are only 21 there are all sorts of opportunities out there. In my opinion (and I have a niece of your age) I would get back to college. There are lots of grants and discretionary grants available if you bang on enough doors. At your age you should be living your life and not worrying about this debt. Ask the CAB what you can do about it if you decide to go back to college and you may be able to negotiate settlements.

And speaking as someone who can't stand the country you need to ask yourself why you are living in the middle of nowhere in an area full of geriatrics. I do mean this in the nicest possible way. When I was your age I was hitch hiking round Greece, building childrens playgrounds in Germany and studying Marxism and French Literature. Lots of people would kill to be 21 again...live your life.

lynzpower

Some great points there sophistica.

Personally, if I were in your situation, Id move. Id move to london or something where your experience will take you further and there are more jobs than people to fill them. Not telling you what to do of course, just what I would do, and in fact I did, and Ive never looked back.

good luck x

Rachman_2

tesuhoha wrote:

I think its called Scherenade (no doubt spelt incorrectly) or something like that. When you get vicarious pleasure out of studying those less fortunate than yourself.

Schadenfreude.

[the older ones amongst you may remember an Advert for the Rover 800 fastback infront of a German Museum (Britische Arkitekt).]

I think it's a bit rich to suggest either waltzing away from responsibility to go wandering round Europe or to go to London (InHell is not !!!!!! Whittington).

To give this lady credit, she's being responsible and starting to face up to things, suggesting that's she should be being footloose and fancy free is almost as bad as having a direct go.

I still think you need to see what's your priority, your husband's (apologies for saying this) fairly low paid job (relative to what's needed to meet the debts) in Wales and the apparent non-availability of full time work for you there or is it being debt free. Assuming your husband has relevant experience can't he move his job to somewhere a little more helpful to your joint income (as you should be able to get on the ladder in a major city or town with those A Levels).

Which leaves two things to sort, your house and your debts. I should calculate your net equity and think whether it's worth selling it to meet those debts if you have the equity in it to do it. Yes, it's what you have worked hard for, but being frank, if it's the thing that's got you in shtuck is it really that great a long term idea if it's chewing away at you inside ? Is a fresh start at it (and bear in mind you are not exactly over the hill at 21) not a good idea ?

As for the debts, I believe we should all pay off what we owe (but that's not the same as paying off every penny on the statement - start with what you spent and add on a bit of interest, then try to agree with the providers that you will meet those on a structured payment plan [I know the CAB may get a lower overall cost solution, but principles matter to me - you spent it, you repay it].

And good luck - BUT you can only do that if you are totally honest with yourself about what you owe - with respect I am not convinced from what you've posted that you are facing up to everything (or are ready to face it all at once) - you need to get those numbers known and maybe etched on your brain so that each time you reduce them you can see the progress. It's not the easiest path to take, but at the end of it, you might have sore feet but you will have a smile on your face.

Doomed_Economy

InHell wrote:

And for the person who said I don't want to travel- I was travelling 110 miles ONE WAY on my older motorbike (which I sold) in the middle of winter in order to get a full time job- how many other people would be willing to do that?

So you're seriously saying that you used to do a 220 mile round trip every day for a part time job? Are you serious? I could just about stretch my imagination that someone might do that mileage for a good, well paid full time job, but not part time. For part time work you'd take something nearer to home, because even at minimum wage it'd be financially better due to the savings in petrol from travelling, & you could even work for the extra hours that you were happy to drive up & down the motorway - sorry but it just doesn't make a bit of sense at all & just doesn't ring true in the slightest!

Also, why did you sell your older bike? You said the new one was for your OH - are you sure? You also said that you'd bought it when you were in a better financial position - when exactly was that?

Have you ever had a full time job?

If you wanted to work, you could find work. There are immigrants coming to this country from thousands of miles away - they can manage, why can't you?

Rach man: "To give this lady credit, she's being responsible "

What?!? - Have you just posted on the wrong thread by accident? I've never read a post by a more irresponsible person. It sounds as though she's been mollycoddled for a substantial part of her life, & what she needs is a good kick up the backside, not help in pretending that she's a helpless victim in a life that she has no control over.

dippy-dora_2

Just my twopennith worth but I get the feeling if you want to help inhell it might be better to let this thread drop and hopefully she'll come back at a later date when she wants advice.

her last post did state she didn't come looking for advice, just to air her problems.
I think it's all been overwhelming for her and she might not be the one in the partnership who has all the financial answers, it might be her husband who holds the purse strings, she also might be embarrassed about things she's bought that didn't work out (ie the bike) and doesn't want her personal business on an open thread.

it might also be a good idea if he could post here as well as inhell when they are ready and see what more advice they can get.

lynzpower

Rachman wrote:

Schadenfreude.

[the older ones amongst you may remember an Advert for the Rover 800 fastback infront of a German Museum (Britische Arkitekt).]

I think it's a bit rich to suggest either waltzing away from responsibility to go wandering round Europe or to go to London (InHell is not !!!!!! Whittington).

To give this lady credit, she's being responsible and starting to face up to things, suggesting that's she should be being footloose and fancy free is almost as bad as having a direct go.

I still think you need to see what's your priority, your husband's (apologies for saying this) fairly low paid job (relative to what's needed to meet the debts) in Wales and the apparent non-availability of full time work for you there or is it being debt free. Assuming your husband has relevant experience can't he move his job to somewhere a little more helpful to your joint income (as you should be able to get on the ladder in a major city or town with those A Levels).

Which leaves two things to sort, your house and your debts. I should calculate your net equity and think whether it's worth selling it to meet those debts if you have the equity in it to do it. Yes, it's what you have worked hard for, but being frank, if it's the thing that's got you in shtuck is it really that great a long term idea if it's chewing away at you inside ? Is a fresh start at it (and bear in mind you are not exactly over the hill at 21) not a good idea ?

.

You misunderstood me there Rachman, I think we are both suggesting the same thing really. I didnt mean inhell move on her own, I meant both of them. Seems silly to me to be staying in somewhere which is economically depressed.