Family loan - what would you do?

poppyolivia

It is a bit of a mess and I also suppose it depends on the tone/way it was said too...you know your MIL better than us lot on here....I just hope you get it sorted so you can feel better about everything!

ellersb

Thanks guys, we'll get it paid back. I also think my pregnancy hormones might be contributing to my feelings about this, but in the long run, it's better to get it all cleared and put it to bed, so to speak.

daphne_descends

Ah you're pregnant... :EasterBun here ya go!

poppyolivia

that smillie thingy is hilarious!!lol

jack*tigger

Have a chat with your MIL tell her you're grateful that she helped and that you are going to pay her the money as soon as you can. Then agree a budget and a schedule £x per week/month or all paid by x date. That way you all know where you are and what to expect.

ceebeeby

I don't think you sound ungrateful at all, just a bit confused by it all. do you have a good enough relationship with her to have a conversation

"darling mil, we've got ourselves muddled into a hugely embarrassing situation - we thought when you said "don't worry about it", that you meant not to worry about paying it back - totally our fault because we should have double checked what you meant. We've now committed to XYZ, again our fault, because of the muddle. Can you bear with us whilst we rework our priorities into working out how we can make sure you're not out of pocket in the longer term? Let's get an agreement in writing so you're protected. We're hugely grateful for all you've done for us and will strive to get the money to you asap. Would you like a choccy bic with your tea."

If she's a lovely mil she'll understand!

oystercatcher

If I lent someone a fiver and said "don't worry about it" I would mean 'don't worry' not 'I don't want it back !' .

It's weird how different minds can take on different meanings ! I can see how it was all misunderstood and infuriating on both sides. To take 8K off a mortgage or not makes quite a difference, to 'lend' 8K and not have it paid back is also quite a big thing!

ellersb

daphne_descends wrote: »

Ah you're pregnant... :EasterBun here ya go!

Blimey, that's about right! Thank you

Fly_Baby

oystercatcher wrote: »

If I lent someone a fiver and said "don't worry about it" I would mean 'don't worry' not 'I don't want it back !'

Didn't the MIL say "Don't worry about paying it back" though?

bestpud

Ouch, I stand by what I said, but £8k is a lot of money.

When I first read it, I assumed it was £1k in total - as in you'd paid half and now she wanted the remaining £500. :doh:

I can see that would make a big difference to your budget.

I really think you should sit down with her and explain how you misunderstood, and are now struggling to pay it back, and then ask if you can have more time.

That's what I would do anyway.