My DD and her 'style'

Tish_P

Leave her be! If she's tall and pretty, she probably gets WAY too much attention already (who might even use her height as an excuse to perv over an extremely young girl - my tall friends all say this happened to them as kids). If her way of dealing with that is to dress to hide and to look as much as possible like the kid she is - well, it's healthier than a lot of other options.

Alternatively, she may just not care how she looks! Some women don't and it's not a crime. Seriously, if the biggest clash of priorities between a teen and her mum is whether she wears a cardi in a sloppy off-the-shoulder manner, you're both of you very lucky indeed.

foreign_correspondent

Maybe she does not like feeling 'dressed up' (I sympathise, I dont either!) - but causal can look nice too - maybe you could just let her buy some comfy, casual things that fit her?

Maybe try 'new look', as they have nice, trendy stuff and its quite cheap, and just let her choose herself a few pairs of combats or jeans, a few t shirts and some hoodies or jumpers, and maybe a couple of pairs of nice trainers/converse shoes too - I saw they have a 20% off coupon on here somewhere too...

She might be able to look presentable but be casual and comfy at the same time!

I bought some new look jeans last weekend - £12, and very nice - dark navy denim, and a good cut - they do a tall range too.

leanneq

I feel for you daughter. I am 5'11 now - i remember being 5'9 at 14. I was also very skinny - i grew up before i filled out.
I'm 29 now and i have to say there is so much more choice now than there was 10/15 years ago!
It sounds to me that she is in that stage of wanting to fade into the background and not knowing how to appreciate her height.
Still to this day i would like to be a bit shorter BUT given the choice i would rather be tall than short.
All i can say is try not to make of an issue of it to her too much. No doubt when she's out people make comments - even a 'you're so tall!' is upsetting even though people don't necessarily mean it to be. Just be supportive and be there for her and hopefully in time, she will love it.
How long has she been like she is with her clothes?

ailuro2

http://www.longtallsally.com/ springs to mind - go through her clothes with her, ask her what she likes and why - if she wants to blend in a bit, then help her find clothes that hide her height - things like straps across shoes can make legs look shorter, and the right shape and colour of jeans can help shorten her a bit too. Long narrow cardis will make her look taller, but the right accessories can help. Is the Trinny and Susannah or Gok Wan's book in your library - have a flick through it and see what would help her, but do it with her rather than forcing her into it.

Have you been to your GP to ask about her height? It might run in the family, but he might be able to get some bone scans done to tell her if she's nearly fully grown yet if it's affecting her so much.

I know most of us would love to be tall like that now, but try to imagine back to when we were 12 years old, we just wanted to be the same as everyone else in the class, didn't we?

Paparika

DS hated new clothes and would wear the same thing all the time, in the end i hid them, then chucked them, forcing him to wear the new clothes that fitted properly

leanneq

ailuro2 wrote: »

http://www.longtallsally.com/ springs to mind - go through her clothes with her, ask her what she likes and why - if she wants to blend in a bit, then help her find clothes that hide her height - things like straps across shoes can make legs look shorter, and the right shape and colour of jeans can help shorten her a bit too. Long narrow cardis will make her look taller, but the right accessories can help. Is the Trinny and Susannah or Gok Wan's book in your library - have a flick through it and see what would help her, but do it with her rather than forcing her into it.

Have you been to your GP to ask about her height? It might run in the family, but he might be able to get some bone scans done to tell her if she's nearly fully grown yet if it's affecting her so much.

I know most of us would love to be tall like that now, but try to imagine back to when we were 12 years old, we just wanted to be the same as everyone else in the class, didn't we?

I disagree with longtallsally - it's very old fashioned! I don't even buy from there!

Lunar_Eclipse

Mrs7ones wrote: »

HELP
I just don't know waht to do with her at all......

No need to battle with her since I suspect it doesn't really matter. Reassurance about her appearance would help her confidence.

The hair, depending on how bad it was I wouldn't tolerate on reasons of hygiene.

Style I would be more relaxed about. If she's not interested in clothes be thankful that it's very frugal and she still looks like a child. But I would be discussing various options with her that could help ease the upset from ridiculing, one of which could be some new clothes. How upsetting for everyone.

lostinrates

I think the idea of having a personal shopper, perhaps saving and going somewhere a bit smart, is a good one. The other bonus of a personal shopper would be its not her mother suggesting things. Also, near me a beauty salon runs teen days, not grotesque beauty pageant things, but a facemask and gentle instruction about how best to care for their teen skin, and focused on good, chic and natural turnout. This might be an idea, and the hairdressor certainly would.

Crucially though, I'd just try and help her feel a bit more positive and introducing them to her not in a way to make her feel insufficient, but to boost her confidence. Its not reqisite to have an interest in looks and fashion, but it is important to be presentable to succeed in life.

evilmonkey_2

Could it all be an attempt to hide, I wonder. I was 5'8" with huge boobs by 12. I was taller than all the boys so they weren't interested and the girls made fun of me. I grew my hair long as a kind of mask - I'd hide behind it. I wore baggy t-shirts and jumpers and jeans to hide my body. Thought by wearing bad clothes and not looking like the other girls that I'd be invisible.

Don't worry so much about it - she'll grow out of it especially when she gets interested in boys. Then you'll be nagging her about the lengths of her skirts etc.

In the meantime, try not to nag her too much - girls of that age will do the exact opposite of what you want her to do. Maybe try a bit of reverse psychology when you're out shopping - spot something you like then mention how horrible you think it is.

turtlemoose

don't be so quick to dismiss Long Tall Sally - from my own experience, i'm 5ft 10 and went in there yrs ago and walked straight out....as recent as 5 yrs ago it was very old fashioned, and while they do still have a rather 'conservative' range, the kinds of stuff they stock it toally different now, some of the stuff is really quite nice! They have definately updated what they offer to be more current styles, and from what I remember they even have a particular range/brand aimed at younger women.