My DD and her 'style'

Mrs7ones

HELP

My DD is 12, she's almost 6feet tall and built like a bean-pole.
She's very uncomfortable with her appearance, and lacks confidence in every way. That said - I'd kill to look like her!!!!!!!

I lover her to bits but hate the constant battle we have over how she looks

My 'problem' (although it's not really a problem, it's just that I want to make her 'fit in' a bit more) is that she looks an absolute sight. i think if she wasn't so tall it wouldn't be a problem, but because she is very tall, people tend to think she is older than 12 and expect her to dress more like a teen than a little kid.

She will not brush her hair - it's very long and thick and has a mind of it's own - and will not get it cut.
If she's not in her school uniform or PJs she's in tatty jeans that are too short and too big, and a t-shirt.

I've bought her nice clothes, stuff that's in fashion but not 'tarty' but she just will not wear them. If she goes into town with her freinds, she comes home upset cos 'people laugh at her'....
(And I have to admit, I even get embarressed at how she dresses when we go anywhere - now that really is awful of me.)

I'm at then end of my teather with her.... and to make matters worse, I need to take her shopping for winter clothes soon and know we'll come home empty-handed!

I just don't know waht to do with her at all......

juby_2002

hi,

just a thought, maybe she isnt into `fashionable` clothes.

there are plently of people including children who are just not at ease wearing these types of clothes. people differ.

there are lots of types of clothes rather than just the `in` thing,, prehaps she is sporty, goth, casual, boyish etc. (i was a huge tom boy when i was young)

or maybe she is at an age where she is just starting to develop her `own` stlye and is feeling a little confused.

take her to a range of shops, look through magazines together and try get her to really look at different clothes at the sort of things SHE likes.

Mimi_Arc_en_ciel

Try dressing the same as her one day? She might be embarrased that her mum dresses the same and change styles? lol

Katinkka

Hmm My kids are too young for me to have any personal experience to draw on but she is only 12 so I would just chuck out the stuff that no longer fits her and leave her the rest. I would hate to take my children out looking scruffy.

Why will you come home empy handed from the shopping? Will she not let you buy anything? Even if she picks suitable things out herself? Although I must admit, my first thought was to suggest places like long tall sally and the 'tall' sections of womenswear shops but perhaps they will be too old in style for her.

moodydonkey

Can you sit down and talk about what she does like?
Is she coming home upset because she feels embarrassed at what she is wearing or just because she chooses to dress differently to others? If you can start with this then it may be easier to move on to finding nice clothes that she likes, not that you find nice (not offending, I have given up buying for my 11 and 12 girls because i don't understand their thinking)

A constant battle over her looks won't help her confidence, she needs your reassurance even if you don't understand her "look". Could she possibly go shopping on her own with a limited budget?

BlondeHeadOn

If she likes wearing jeans, why not splash out on a pair that really fits her? Then a couple of t-shirts, a nicely cut white shirt, a nice jacket - boyfriend style would probably look great. She can wear flat shoes or boots if she is self concious about her height.

This is a fab look on someone tall and slim, and she will look good without seeming to make any effort - and be comfortable too. Timeless chic, and suitable for virtually any age.

I'd have worn this without any complaint at 12 - I would have loved a pair of brilliantly cut jeans at that age.

HTH

Gavin83

You shouldn't really be battling her over this, she's old enough now to choose her own clothes. If she chooses to dress scruffy and not cut her hair, thats entirely her own choice, but she has to live with the consequences. Tell her if she's fed up of people laughing at her then maybe she should update her look a little and dress a little more like a teen. Nothing will change until she really wants to though.

**confuzzled**

Maybe she thinks that if she changes her appearance then people will pay more attention to her not what a tall, self-conscious 12 yr old needs!

As Juby suggested, try getting her to talk about clothes, maybe take her to 'alternative' clothing shops that stock more gothic clothing and see if theres anything there she likes, even if it's just a pair of funky jeans it's a start;)
Another idea, maybe, is to take her on a spa day as a present for xmas possibly?! It'll give you time together to have a girly natter while also (hopefully) helping her to realise that although she's different to her peers it's still ok to look after herself.

beccam

Maybe not the most money saving response but...

Would she be in to being 'treated'....you could book her into a really good hairsalon, somewhere special thats up to date with all the latest trends etc and see can that encourage her?
Then maybe a personal shopper experience to chose some clothes? Like someone else said even just a great fitting pair of jeans would be a start!

Some of the younger shops like New Look also do a tall range and topshop aswell so can look there.

Good luck.

KK22_2

I would also recommend looking at the New Look Tall range if you haven't already. They do a lot of the basics like jeans, jumpers, t-shirts, shirts, etc which might be basic enough to suit her own style. Wearing clothes that don't fit is just ridiculous when you are offering to buy her clothes!

flutterbyuk25

It could be that she just isn't into fashion yet. I wasn't til around 13/14.

I am 6ft tall and when I was in teens found it hard to get but it's a lot better now.

I also agree that maybe the stuff in the tall departments maybe too old for her style. One thing that may work if she is long bodied, is to buy her some basic normal or long sleeve tshirts from tall that fit her length-wise then she can put a shorter 'normal' funky tshirt over it?

I'm sure she will be into fashion soon enough!

x