Something I have often wondered

Dinah93

That sounds like a really lovely ceremony Becles.

smartie12

Living together is like test driving marriage.

If you like the test drive you go on to commit;)

If you don't like the test drive you get rid! I've had one bad test drive and one very nice one:D

Thank goodness we got to test drive before getting married as he lived hundreds of miles away!

He moved into MY house so I think when we buy OUR first house together (hopefully next year) it will make our relationship even more special

beccad

Dinah93 wrote: »

I'm not saying you don't have a valid point about getting to know one anothers habits, but research has shown repeatedly that you are less likely to get divorced if you do not live together before marriage. (Or for a media site rather than a Christian one). Once I am married no matter what that is for life, and if he is messy or likes to do DIY at 2am or will only iron clothes in alphabetical order, then that is the 'for worse' part of the vows and we work to find a way around it. I know he is a good, honest person and thats why I'm marrying him.

Of course it helps that I come from a Christian background, its very uncommon to live together before marriage, but for that I don't actually know a single couple except my fiances parents who have seperated once married, which has to be better than the statistical average! My friends have said how wierd it is suddenly being with their husband all the time, but good wierd so I am really looking forward to next September. In pretty much every respect I just want the wedding day over and done with, its the coming home the next day I'm excited for!

Being married for life is a lovely idea, and I don't think anyone goes into marriage thinking they won't, but you can't predict what will happen. Being a Christian doesn't mean you'll have a long and happy marriage - I have a number of friends (all Christians) whose marriages have recently ended as they just couldn't resolve their differences. You can't predict what will happen in the future, so please don't assume your religious beliefs will be enough.

AbFab

I never had any desire to live with a man until I was married. (I married at 35, btw, so not old generation). When I met my husband, I just knew straight away that he was the one for me. I felt no need to test that we would be happy living together. If he leaves his socks on the bedroom floor, so what? I love that we had something different to look forward to after the wedding. We were together a year when we wed; we lived 200+ miles apart, and only saw each other at weekends. We had a week-long holiday and a three-week holiday during our year before we married, but other than that, living together proper was (is) a new experience. We got married in May so it's only been four months, early days, but we are both so well-suited, so easy-going, and so in love, I don't see how living together first would have been of any benefit.
As we lived so far apart, one of us had to re-locate - he got the job offer down here, so moved in to my (now our) home. The job offer required him to start two weeks before our wedding, so I guess we didn't truly wait - I had thought about moving to my brother's, but I had several bits to do for the wedding that I needed to be in my home for, and planning things with my h2b that I stayed. Those two weeks were such a whirl of wedding-related preparedness it was a bit of a blur, and just felt like he was down for a long weekend. It really did feel new to come home after the wedding and feel that THEN it was OUR home.
I think it will be a really good step when we get our first own home that's new for both of us, but he's making his mark here and all is good.

Each to their own though, but for me, I am very glad we waited.

Wappers

I lived with my now wife before we got married. We met at university and neither of us had lived with our parents for several years beforehand; there would not have been a 'magical moment' of leaving our parents houses to get married in the same way as the OP had.

Also we had both lived in mixed sex student houses, so it's not a very big step to go from living with friends of the opposite sex to living with someone who may be your life partner.

And half the population go to uni now, don't they? Things change.