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Army Divorce advice

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  • oh then id clear the house out while hes drinking with his pals......nothing worse than a woman scorned ..
  • spike7451
    spike7451 Posts: 6,944 Forumite
    nje24 wrote: »
    I agree times have changed i am ex RAF and my ex was ex Army and I know from experience the army dont get involved in domestics anymore. Shell be on her own with this thats the reality down to paying her own mortgage getting a job like ive done to support my kids and standing on your own feet. Cos when the going gets tough and in divorce it does....your on your own thats the reality...my solictors were in it to get their profit out...thats the truth. You do come out of it but be prepared for the fight.

    Me too...:D
    I knew a supply Seargent who worked in Bruggen's Bomb Dump who was caught biffing a colleuge's wife while we were on Op Granby.He was given a 24hr posting to Leauchers!
  • bryanb wrote: »
    Haven't read all the posts, so ignore if not appropriate. Have you considered writing to his CO if he's not meeting his obligations? Or at least mentioning to him that you will.

    Human Rights Act 2000 and therefore MOD wide policy does not allow for anybody to interfere with anybody's private life. This includes involvement in finances. Gone are the days when the OC Admin had the powers to take control of your finances and give you the cash for toiletries each week. If he fails to meet his obligations then you only have the course of action that every civvy has - frustrating I know, but that is policy and that is how every CO or OC will play it (litigation is too much of a possibility for them to interfere).

    If you do contact his CO, someone in his CoC may well interview him, but I am sure he will be savvy enough to answer any question over this with one simple answer: Sir this matter is non of your business.

    The Service Test applies to all domestic affairs at all times - does this matter affect the operational effectiveness of the section he works in? The answer is no. and so no further action will be taken
    Credit Card Debt

    Dec 10 £15500 :cry:

    2011 A Year for considerable debt reducing.
  • bryanb
    bryanb Posts: 5,029 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 1,000 Posts Name Dropper Combo Breaker
    Human Rights Act 2000 and therefore MOD wide policy does not allow for anybody to interfere with anybody's private life. This includes involvement in finances. Gone are the days when the OC Admin had the powers to take control of your finances and give you the cash for toiletries each week. If he fails to meet his obligations then you only have the course of action that every civvy has - frustrating I know, but that is policy and that is how every CO or OC will play it (litigation is too much of a possibility for them to interfere).

    If you do contact his CO, someone in his CoC may well interview him, but I am sure he will be savvy enough to answer any question over this with one simple answer: Sir this matter is non of your business.

    The Service Test applies to all domestic affairs at all times - does this matter affect the operational effectiveness of the section he works in? The answer is no. and so no further action will be taken


    This is obviously true, and has been for years, even before the 2000 act. But such a letter would not be a boost to his career.
    The point under discussion was the "Privacy Law" and all the consequences quoted by the other poster involved, perhaps he just dreamed it up.
    This is an open forum, anyone can post and I just did !
  • bryanb wrote: »
    This is obviously true, and has been for years, even before the 2000 act. But such a letter would not be a boost to his career.
    The point under discussion was the "Privacy Law" and all the consequences quoted by the other poster involved, perhaps he just dreamed it up.

    The Privacy Law is the HRA 2000 - enshrining an individuals right to a private life without recourse or discrimination and so you can take from that what you will - I know it has made operating in certain instances in a Mil environment challenging since we adopted it in 2001. MoD swings to embrace Gov Leg far more readily than Civvy Street - EP, H&S......Plus it is MoD policy to not get involved in pr provde advice wrt finance's - because if it goes wrong the recipient of your advice potentially has grounds to sue both you and the MOD - which ever is richer!

    As for the effect on a persons career, as a current Flt Cdr I would not dare to negatively report on this as it is simply nothing to do with me. If he is crap at his job, then he will be assessed appropriatley, if he is excellent then likewise. However if he has chosen to sleep with his wife's best freind then what has that got to do with me or any of those in his chain of command? But then that is me and I suggest that anybosy who hinders another career on this basis has massive balls and is willing to stand the test of a legal challenge - I know I certainly would challenge of I were he.

    If however, the wife's friend was married to somebody on the same section that the perpertrator works on, then that is a whole different ball game - however I still have to refer to the Service Test, which does not apply to the individuals willingness to pay maintentance for his kids.

    Reality is that despite the slight aggressive tone in ldonald101's posts in answer to yours, he is correct whether he backs it up or not - but I have shown that for him twice now. The reality is both he and I know that your advice to contact the CO will get her nowhere - other posts echo that also - and we are merely pointing that out. As you are on this part of the forum, you must have some Mil Exp, however, how recent that is...... Truth is that today even the lowest of Barrack Room Lawyers Assistant Teamaker's Deputies are aware of what we can and cannot do these days. Cynical I know.
    Credit Card Debt

    Dec 10 £15500 :cry:

    2011 A Year for considerable debt reducing.
  • moneysavermum_2
    moneysavermum_2 Posts: 508 Forumite
    edited 22 November 2009 at 9:54AM
    The Privacy Law is the HRA 2000 - enshrining an individuals right to a private life without recourse or discrimination and so you can take from that what you will - I know it has made operating in certain instances in a Mil environment challenging since we adopted it in 2001. MoD swings to embrace Gov Leg far more readily than Civvy Street - EP, H&S......Plus it is MoD policy to not get involved in pr provde advice wrt finance's - because if it goes wrong the recipient of your advice potentially has grounds to sue both you and the MOD - which ever is richer!

    As for the effect on a persons career, as a current Flt Cdr I would not dare to negatively report on this as it is simply nothing to do with me. If he is crap at his job, then he will be assessed appropriatley, if he is excellent then likewise. However if he has chosen to sleep with his wife's best freind then what has that got to do with me or any of those in his chain of command? But then that is me and I suggest that anybosy who hinders another career on this basis has massive balls and is willing to stand the test of a legal challenge - I know I certainly would challenge of I were he.

    If however, the wife's friend was married to somebody on the same section that the perpertrator works on, then that is a whole different ball game - however I still have to refer to the Service Test, which does not apply to the individuals willingness to pay maintentance for his kids.

    Reality is that despite the slight aggressive tone in ldonald101's posts in answer to yours, he is correct whether he backs it up or not - but I have shown that for him twice now. The reality is both he and I know that your advice to contact the CO will get her nowhere - other posts echo that also - and we are merely pointing that out. As you are on this part of the forum, you must have some Mil Exp, however, how recent that is...... Truth is that today even the lowest of Barrack Room Lawyers Assistant Teamaker's Deputies are aware of what we can and cannot do these days. Cynical I know.

    As a person who is ex military and just been through the legal system and with 3 children. I can say that the military dont get involved unless it affects their work i.e its another persons partner in their section and secondly the law comes from 50:50 as a starting point. You will be expected to support yourself totally after the divorce unless you are extremely wealthy. I kept the family home but pay a huge legal bill and he retained a third share in it. His military pension wasnt touched although he does pay csa out of his policemans salary now. So its all relative you have to be prepared to work following divorce and keep the kids. The comfy days off staying at home with cup of tea, watching tv are over and into the real world you go. Be prepared for a fight and to work. AS SAID PREVIOUSLY THE LEGAL SYSTEM COMES FROM 50: 50 AND TO BE HONEST IT DOESNT DEVIATE VERY FAR FROM THAT IN A DIVORCE EVEN IF YOU HAVE A FEW YOUNG CHILDREN.
  • bryanb
    bryanb Posts: 5,029 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 1,000 Posts Name Dropper Combo Breaker
    Still trying to locate the "Privacy laws" that dictate she will be taken to the cleaners if she writes to his CO (see post 29)
    This is an open forum, anyone can post and I just did !
  • bryanb wrote: »
    Still trying to locate the "Privacy laws" that dictate she will be taken to the cleaners if she writes to his CO (see post 29)

    she wont be taken to the cleaners but they will not act on what she says unless it affects his work ie it is someone from his section he is sleeping with or their partner. Thats what people are trying to say...THEY WONT ACT ON IT so whats the point of going their then!!!!!!!!!!

    I told you she needs to get enough for her and the children to survive then shes on her own. Shell be entitled to half of everything i.e marital assets same as he will!!
  • bryanb
    bryanb Posts: 5,029 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 1,000 Posts Name Dropper Combo Breaker
    nje24 wrote: »
    she wont be taken to the cleaners but they will not act on what she says unless it affects his work ie it is someone from his section he is sleeping with or their partner. Thats what people are trying to say...THEY WONT ACT ON IT so whats the point of going their then!!!!!!!!!!

    I told you she needs to get enough for her and the children to survive then shes on her own. Shell be entitled to half of everything i.e marital assets same as he will!!

    Thanks! I realise they will only act in certain circumstances, Who can say if they exist?
    CO will be aware even if no action necessary.
    As I said earlier, It will hardly be a boost to his career.
    This is an open forum, anyone can post and I just did !
  • bryanb wrote: »
    Thanks! I realise they will only act in certain circumstances, Who can say if they exist?
    CO will be aware even if no action necessary.
    As I said earlier, It will hardly be a boost to his career.

    I agree it will look bad on him and maybe if the co is sympathetic and the bloke is an idiot he may consider it for his annual assessment which could affect his promotion, which will affect her csa money.

    I would personally get as much out as I could now for the kids and get the hell out. I couldnt abide this situation finding them with your friend. Hes a rat and I would spare him no thought while i cleared his bank and his house. If he is away on detachment all the better.
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