Army Divorce advice

marie2000

Hi,

I am a clerk, but I am not qualified to advise you on specific issues. There is a lot of information on this website which can is public information and not specific to the forces. There may be something which can help your situtation.
I cant seem to send the link so key in details on MOD website
DefenceInternet/AboutDefence/WhatWeDo/Personnel/Pensions/ArmedForcesPensions

dizzygillespie

Cat695 wrote: »

My advice on the CSA is keep away unless he continues to refuse to pay (its worth actually sitting down with him on this)

Solictiors CANNOT make him pay (they are NOT THE LAW) only a court and CSA can make him pay....so don't waste your money on solicitors fees if you don't have to!! (unless you get legal aid which can be a painful process)

And please remember he is just as entitled to YOUR pension if you have one as you are to his!

Good advice :T Whatever the reason for the breakdown, the court will take both incomes/financial situations into consideration when making provision for the future.

If you are able to sort things out between yourselves you will both save £1000s in solicitors fees. In my experience the only ones taking people to the cleaners in divorce are the solicitors!

geranium72

As an ex-solicitor I would totally agree that people who can sort their issues out between themselves can save a lot of money HOWEVER this is only any good if both parties are dealing fairly, honestly and equitably with each other, with full knowledge of all the assets. If the other partner is refusing to deal with anything, then "sorting it out between the two of you" is not likely to achieve much. Saying that, if you can get him to agree to resolve things amicably, then mdeiation, where you reach your own settlements may help.

It concerns me that your solicitor said that as your ex won't deal with the divorce he can't do anything about the finances. This is not true. There are applications for maintenance for kids and yourself that can be made, regardless of where the divorce has got to. If your ex is refusing to co-operate then court proceedings are almost certainly the way to go, as he would have to comply with court orders both in respect of the divorce and the finances. For someone in the forces, failure to comply with a court order can be a very serious matter. I have had cases where it became a disciplinary matter, so there is more to lose, hence more likely to get them to comply.

You need to make sure you have a good solicitor. A good solicitor will of course charge, but can make sure you get the best deal for you and the kids and can take some of the stress of this away from you. A bad one can make it ten times worse. Not all solicitors are money grabbing and out to fleece poor innocent clients!

You mentioned the kids going to Uni? If they are over 18 then CSA is irrelevant anyway and it is something the court can deal with.

Some useful websites

Resolution - find a solicitor who is signed up to their Code of Practice, preferably from a firm that specialise in Family work. Don't be afraid to ask for an intial half hour free or reduced fee interview. They can also advise if you qualify for any legal funding. You can only find out what you are entitled to, including pensions, when the full extent of the assets and liabilities that you have are clear. What I would say, is that 14 years is treated as a reasonably long marriage and theat co-habitation before that can be relevant to what you are entitled to. Your pressing need though is to make sure you have enough money etc to survive on now.

http://www.resolution.org.uk

Mediation - this give some information (as does the Resolution website)
http://www.familymediationhelpline.co.uk/index.php

Hope that helps and good luck

ldonald101

I don't suppose there is any chance of you getting off your backside and getting a job? No doubt you will take your x to the cleaners-or try to on the basis of kids education. Why do you think you are entitled to any of his pension? I know it maybe law, however, the law is an !!!.
If you get it on with someone else are you willing to give it back?
Ok he may have an obligation to pay an amount for the kids..SO DO YOU. Do not assume he is your meal ticket for ever more, he is not. Concentrate on getting a job, earn some money. If you already have these, why the witch hunt? Irrespective of what he has done, and why he needed to go with your mate! me, I'd be happy to pay a proportion for the kids, you can work, therefore get nothing.

jennihen

Its not unfair to expect some sort of financial settlement - as an Army wife we give up good jobs and careers to accompany our spouses. And like all mothers give up our earning potential and future security to have children. Its not a one-way street.

spike7451

Have a read of this thread-
http://www.arrse.co.uk/Forums/viewtopic/t=132497.html

bryanb

Haven't read all the posts, so ignore if not appropriate. Have you considered writing to his CO if he's not meeting his obligations? Or at least mentioning to him that you will.

ldonald101

bryanb wrote: »

Haven't read all the posts, so ignore if not appropriate. Have you considered writing to his CO if he's not meeting his obligations? Or at least mentioning to him that you will.

What a load of tosh. Do this at your pearl (leagaly). There are laws of privacy that dictate he will take you to the cleaners should you chose this route. Why does everyone think that by running to the headteacher mentality will work? If he worked for B&Q WOULD YOU WRITE TO HIS BOSS....NO, didn't think so. Strap a pair on, this has nothing to do with the military.

ldonald101

jennihen wrote: »

Its not unfair to expect some sort of financial settlement - as an Army wife we give up good jobs and careers to accompany our spouses. And like all mothers give up our earning potential and future security to have children. Its not a one-way street.

Fair point from the womans lib. This being the case now is the time to get a job. Whilst bringing up the children did you do any courses? Did you work from home when you put the kids into the military nursery (reduced rate)? I suspect you knew what you were marrying into...bit late to start bleeting now.

bryanb

ldonald101 wrote: »

What a load of tosh. Do this at your pearl (leagaly). There are laws of privacy that dictate he will take you to the cleaners should you chose this route. Why does everyone think that by running to the headteacher mentality will work? If he worked for B&Q WOULD YOU WRITE TO HIS BOSS....NO, didn't think so. Strap a pair on, this has nothing to do with the military.

Do you have any military experience that leads you to this opinion?