Army Divorce advice

jennihen

ldonald101 wrote: »

Fair point from the womans lib. This being the case now is the time to get a job. Whilst bringing up the children did you do any courses? Did you work from home when you put the kids into the military nursery (reduced rate)? I suspect you knew what you were marrying into...bit late to start bleeting now.

Not bleating - its a fact of life!! Didn't do any courses -just created enough work as a self-employed cleaner to support my three children. Better job now but no chance of a pension while father of three sits in a bar abroad chugging back the beers telling war stories.
PS Only had a nursery at Bramcote cos we set it up!!

moneysavermum_2

Cat695 wrote: »

you could get upto 14/22 of his pension IF he stays in for 22 years, however you don't get anything till you are 65 (or 60 I can never remember which)....don't think that you get anything from his monthly pension before then...also if he does get out he gets his lump sum which you can get hold of some....however if you get hold of to much then you will have to pay solicitor fees etc (this comes as quite a shock to some people)

if he pays towards the kids going to UNI then his CSA payments will be reduced

If he gets a mortgage etc (or already has one) then CSA payments are reduced as will if he has to travel a long distance to see them

Also if he takes on loans that were a benefit to you/kids CSA reduce payments

Please don't think you are taking him to the cleaners as you might be shocked as to what you will actually get.... (you need to keep a clear head on this and not listen to GOSSIP)

Alot of wives/guys I know sort out a lump sum when they leave and leave the pension alone (especially and you don't beneifit till your in your 60's)

My advice on the CSA is keep away unless he continues to refuse to pay (its worth actually sitting down with him on this)

Solictiors CANNOT make him pay (they are NOT THE LAW) only a court and CSA can make him pay....so don't waste your money on solicitors fees if you don't have to!! (unless you get legal aid which can be a painful process)

And please remember he is just as entitled to YOUR pension if you have one as you are to his!

This advoice is so true. As someone who has just spent 2 years in and out of court divorcing a royal engineer cpl who has just completed his 22. He kept all his £460 pension a month, car which was paid for retained 35% share of house equity at the time of the divorce. Left me with 65% equity 3 kids 15K legal aid bill to repay which goes up by 8% £3 a day and pays csa. I got all household furniture and was told i was entitled to that for the kids, But when divorce papers start to fly things get very nasty and especially army men dont like to share cos used to looking out for their selves. Dont know what to advise except get what you can for the kids by whatever means cos when you start the ball rolling he may not be eager to give you anything. Just be prepared. Also if youa re to gain any assets ie house /pension be prepared to repay all your legal fees at a later date. Mine is a charge on my house but i still repay it each month otherwise it goes up.

ldonald101

bryanb wrote: »

Do you have any military experience that leads you to this opinion?

Yes.........

moneysavermum_2

and good for you kicking his !!!!...quite right as well!!! wasnt thinking of you was he when he was with your mate. I wouldnt consider him at all and id take everything i could not for me but for your kids. Like you said youve kept the home, had a job, given upyour career prospects....No really go for the jugular!!!!! start now taking back your life and the money!!!by whatever way you can. May seem harse but just you wait till hes shared his stories over the bar and the advice his lads give him...hell get dont ive her anything....start now!!!

bryanb

ldonald101 wrote: »

Yes.........

Then you won't mind explaining the "privacy laws" you refer to. Also you must realise that people who work in B&Q are usually in the same country and not able to avoid contact in a secure base.

ldonald101

bryanb wrote: »

Then you won't mind explaining the "privacy laws" you refer to. Also you must realise that people who work in B&Q are usually in the same country and not able to avoid contact in a secure base.

I am not about to give out advice for free, do some research and ye shall find... I normally get paid for this! As for your concern over the secure base...crap, just because he may work in a restricted area, some military actually work in the community, AFCO's etc so your argument is poor. These people need to leave the military out of it, it has nothing to do with them. As a previous post suggested, it works both ways, the woman should be prepared for a slog.

moneysavermum_2

ldonald101 wrote: »

I am not about to give out advice for free, do some research and ye shall find... I normally get paid for this! As for your concern over the secure base...crap, just because he may work in a restricted area, some military actually work in the community, AFCO's etc so your argument is poor. These people need to leave the military out of it, it has nothing to do with them. As a previous post suggested, it works both ways, the woman should be prepared for a slog.

I agree times have changed i am ex RAF and my ex was ex Army and I know from experience the army dont get involved in domestics anymore. Shell be on her own with this thats the reality down to paying her own mortgage getting a job like ive done to support my kids and standing on your own feet. Cos when the going gets tough and in divorce it does....your on your own thats the reality...my solictors were in it to get their profit out...thats the truth. You do come out of it but be prepared for the fight.

bryanb

ldonald101 wrote: »

I am not about to give out advice for free,

Then why bother posting on an advice forum? By the way, I'm not asking for advice. I offered a suggestion to the OP, you contradicted, now you won't back up what you say. Go away.

moneysavermum_2

bryanb wrote: »

Then why bother posting on an advice forum? By the way, I'm not asking for advice. I offered a suggestion to the OP, you contradicted, now you won't back up what you say. Go away.

I agree he should be clear about what he is saying although technically he is right. She will be expected to stand on her own feet all the way. Shell get enough out of the divorce to look after the kids bareing in mind they are still dependant and her input into the marriage but it will be taken out of what she gains in terms of assets. Thats the reality. So she should get what she can out now.

Id stay with him and do the same to him.:T:T:T

moneysavermum_2

oh and id run all his credit cards up to the limit then id go... I hate men who cheat, but divorcing him his too easy. Id make him suffer no sex, spend like no tommorrow sit on my backside all day and just look after kids, do my nails and hair and makeup all day and maybe spend day getting pampered at his expense.....and flirt with all his bosses especially his flt cdr