MATCH - mothers apart from their children...

far2812

Hi ZZtop girl - so sorry I didn't realise I had a PM from you! Quite new to this.

I have the same when my little girl has to leave me on Saturday and the Ex really doesn't care that it is obviously really hurting her. There is no reason why I should not see her more often!

His solicitors have suggested that I see a psychiatrist also - just another thing to delay increasing the contact

Why did they tear you to shreds? What happened?

That is what we have to hang on to - when they are older - they will make their own decisions - as long as we stay regular with the little contact we have, then they will remember that.

My little girl knows that she sees me on Saturdays and when I ring her - she knows how many "sleeps" she has left before she sees me!

I will look into the charity thing.........

far2812

My ex is now trying to ruin my 4 hours with my daughter - yesterday he "shouted" in front of everyone that she came home last week with dirty pants!! Idiot! He handed me some baby wipes and TOLD me to make sure I cleaned her properly!

I mean I think I am quite able to clean her properly!

I am not going to let him spoil my time with her though!

I hope everyone is ok today!
x

wiserthaniwas

hi,

i am apart from my daughter- she is 9 and i havent seen her since jan 08. although daus no longer having contact is not my fault, her going to live with her dad is. she accused my partner at the time of hitting her while i was out of the house and her dad fought for residency and won. at the time i didn't believe it as i had never known my partner to be violent. after that he was violent to me and i eventually left him, but it was too little too late on my part. dd's dad refused to let me see her other than in a contact center under supervision, which i did for about 9 months until she said she didn't want to see me anymore.

i send birthday and christmas cards to her, but i never get anything back- its my own fault though, that much i do know. when her father and i split i went off the rails a bit- out all the time, drinking etc etc- i wasn't being the best mother i could be. quite frankly i deserved to lose my daughter.

i would love to see her again, even just for a couple of hours, but im too scared to ask- i don;t think i could cope with the rejection from her. i lost my entire family over this- they all took my ex's side and aren't interested in me or my little boy (who has a different father).

i think about her every day, and the pain is unimaginable- i am ashamed of myself, and ashamed of the fact that i could walk past her in the street and not recognize her.

i do the best that i can for my son, that is my way of trying to make amends, and i don't want to force my daughter into a relationship that she doesn't want to have

sorry i know its a bit garbled

ManOnTheMoon

Well, it's nice to see that although you don't have your children, you want to see them.

The Mothers of my clan (2 mothers) don't want to see them and the nights they cried themselves to sleep because of the rejection and self blame was unbearable, although that is gladly over and they don't want ther biological mums anymore.

I hope, as mothers and parents that things all work out for you all as I couldn't bear to be away from my girls, so you all have my best wishes.

I hope to pop back some time and hear some good news for you all.

far2812

Hello All

Just a quick update really - I went back to court at the beginning of December and the ex started as usual accusing of all sorts. The court finally decided to involve CAFCASS. Apparently they have been to see him and my daughter and I just found out this morning (because ex has cancelled contact tomorrow because I will be seeing my daughter on Tuesday at CAFCASS offices) - that I am supposed to be meeting CAFCASS on Tuesday - apparently my daughter will be there.

I have heard nothing from CAFCASS so I will ring them on monday.

EX's mother has been fantastic - I went to see my daughter at her house on Sunday to do XMAS and birthday. She has told me to inform CAFCASS that she wants to see them - she is completely on my side and spends loads of time with my daughter.

Has anyone had any dealings with CAFCASS?

red_devil

wiserthaniwas wrote: »

hi,

i am apart from my daughter- she is 9 and i havent seen her since jan 08. although daus no longer having contact is not my fault, her going to live with her dad is. she accused my partner at the time of hitting her while i was out of the house and her dad fought for residency and won. at the time i didn't believe it as i had never known my partner to be violent. after that he was violent to me and i eventually left him, but it was too little too late on my part. dd's dad refused to let me see her other than in a contact center under supervision, which i did for about 9 months until she said she didn't want to see me anymore.

i send birthday and christmas cards to her, but i never get anything back- its my own fault though, that much i do know. when her father and i split i went off the rails a bit- out all the time, drinking etc etc- i wasn't being the best mother i could be. quite frankly i deserved to lose my daughter.

i would love to see her again, even just for a couple of hours, but im too scared to ask- i don;t think i could cope with the rejection from her. i lost my entire family over this- they all took my ex's side and aren't interested in me or my little boy (who has a different father).

i think about her every day, and the pain is unimaginable- i am ashamed of myself, and ashamed of the fact that i could walk past her in the street and not recognize her.

i do the best that i can for my son, that is my way of trying to make amends, and i don't want to force my daughter into a relationship that she doesn't want to have

sorry i know its a bit garbled

maybe write a letter and say you will always be there if she changes her mind. One day she might.

laurenjs88

Fingers crossed things go well with CAFCASS Far

Its no-where near the same but miss my FOB's other daughter everyday, the hardest thing ive ever done was to walk away from her. The abuse from her dad got too much in the end. He is NRP ( i wouldnt of left her if he was full time)

julie3009

hi all just a quick update, my ds is back home with me and things seem to be going great, it has been the hardest fight of my life to get this far. hope every one else is ok.

claireac

julie3009 wrote: »

hi all just a quick update, my ds is back home with me and things seem to be going great, it has been the hardest fight of my life to get this far. hope every one else is ok.

That's really good news!

I lost residency of my two boys 7 yrs ago, after I dared to leave their father after a 13yr mentally and physically abusive marriage. He is so manipulative that he managed to get me out of the house and put the most awful things in their heads. They were aged 13 and 11 at the time, cafcass were involved, and due to their age they were allowed to say who they wanted to live with - their Dad.:(

It was awful for a long time, and we had the most horrendous divorce, but a leopards spots never change and his true character soon outed itself, and my youngest son had an arguement with him (some trivial teenage stuff) and his father told him to go live with his mother - so he did!! We had some ups and downs ourselves over the years but now he is a lovely 18yr old .

My eldest son stayed with xh, but left home at the first opportunity, is very close to me and both boys are fully aware of what their father is like! Funnily enough, after wanting both boys, he now never sees ds2, no contact, no birthday/christmas cards and even ignores him in the street....it was all about the money... :mad::mad::mad:

julie3009

thanks claireac
so glad you and your boys are happy.
i never had cafcass involved as social services were recomending a residency order in favor of my mother, i had to fight them and then my mother said my ds should stay with her, but as like your ex it was all about the money with her too. i fought my case with out a solicitor when we went to court as the solicitor i had seen said that i should let my mother have residency then fight for access, felt very let down dy solicitors.