MATCH - mothers apart from their children...

far2812

I have just found this website and don't know if it's any help to anyone.

http://www.matchmothers.org/pages/reasons.html
Sadly, I lost custody of my daughter due to post natal depression and losing my mother 3 weeks after giving birth to my beautiful baby.

I asked my GP if I was able to get some help ie - with child minding for just a couple of hours a week. Social services got involved and cutting a long story short - the court eventually gave my ex-partner residency of our daughter,

He limits me to 2 hours per week supervised access which I have done now for 3 years - everytime I go back to Court to ask for the contact to be increased, he comes up with some rubbish or other that puts doubt in the Magistrates' heads.

I have for a long time been looking for some support as I am deeply lonely and long to have her near me more - we adore each other and it is just so sad.

Any advice or anyone in a similar situation? I would love to chat.

whitewing

far2812,

What a lovely person you are for posting. If it's okay with you, I will link this in to frankiegirl's thread as the website may help her. (She's not too good at the moment, but is helpful and kind when she's feeling better).

far2812

How do I do the link? x

whitewing

I've put a link in frankiegirl's thread to this one. I'll link her thread here in a minute, but she's rather down at the moment so bear that in mind if you're feeling down too.

whitewing

Here you are:
http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/showthread.html?t=1951975&highlight=

zztopgirl

Hi, I am apart from my two daughters, they each live with their dads, my youngest I lost 3 months ago due to a mental breakdown. I have since recovered but she has made so much progress that I feel it would be unfair to uproot her, the school she now goes to is excellent, she has made loads and loads of friends in the area now and my ex and his oh are very supportive to me. My other ex is supportive too, they dont withhold contact, I know im very lucky but doesnt make it ok at all.

It doesnt ease the pain at all of being apart from my girls and I dont post hardly at all due to fear of being attacked, I feel there is a huge stigma attached to being apart from your children, for whatever reason. I posted on the marriages, etc, board a while back just before my breakdown and ended up being too scared to go back and read the responses.

I have found other mums apart dont chat much, I have met a few locally and know a few over the net but they dont tend to keep in touch, but I feel so lonely sometimes, its a living bereavement and everytime my girls go home, I fall into a massive pit of despair.

Have just read through Frankiegirl's thread and thats how I felt recently, my oh was on verge of calling the police but am so glad I have now recovered.

This is a brilliant book, every mum apart should have it, its been a bit of a lifesaver for me sometimes http://www.sarahhart.co.uk/

Hugs to you far2812 :A its not easy to stay strong but we are in the special group of the world's most amazing mothers.

far2812

Hi ZZ - thanks for replying - it's good to know that there is someone to talk out there! How are you getting on?

How old are your little ones?

My little girl will be 4 in December..........

I was looking at that book - I will definitely buy it - I was looking also on her website - I noticed that she does phone seminars - have you ever tried anything like that?

I don't know where you're based but I am in Nottingham.

PM me if you like

Take care of you
x

far2812

There's not many responses to us - are we the only 2 mothers apart? xx

whitewing

You could try seeing if you can get a Board Guide to move it to the Families etc board. (Savvy Sue?). Lots of people hang around there.

foreign_correspondent

just a thought - in my experience, in general, it is not living with the parent that seems to matter to the child but the quality of the relationship - children cope quite well with not living with a parent, if they know that they are loved, valued and listened to by that parent.. sometimes the parent they don't live with is put on a bit of a pedestal though, as you are not the one yelling at them daily to get out of bed or pick up their toys!

far2812

Thanks Whitewing - how do I do that please? It's a good idea!

Thank you foreign correspondent for your kind words!
x