Its so unfair why wont someone help?

lindjemp

Hi there

I have been reading this post from the beginning and have been wracking my brain how to help!

My partner was a fisherman and simply couldnt see past it - next year was always going to be better (therefore we could afford to borrow money etc) and we got in a terrible hole (I know you have read my post - My Debt Story) I had a terrible time getting him to realise that its no longer viable to make a living from fishing.

I know you have your heart set on your valeting business but I must admit IMHO that I think you must put it on hold until you have your debt problem sorted out - if its a viable business now then it still should be a few months down the line. I know you can earn a lot more in a few hours then a low paid job but with a regular wage coming in (no matter how small) you can budget accordingly. The fishing was like that - you made money in the summer and had to save for the winter.

Is there anything your husband could do full-time? Has he any experience or special skills? If you are putting your dream of your own business on hold could you get a full time job? As you have already experience of "doing the books" could you not get a job in admin or secretarial work? Perhaps getting back into full time employment could also help you make new friends and not feel so isolated.

Or if you are determined to keep the business going could perhaps you eke your income out by (as been suggested before) taking in ironing - our local lady does a bin bag full for a tenner and is very busy in the summer as a lot of folk use her after coming back from their holidays. Catalogue companies are also offering jobs as couriers to folk with their own cars - picking up returns and delivering catalogues - perhaps this could be something your husband could do? you mentioned you have a garden - could you sell cuttings of plants? Do you have a lawnmower - could you offer to cut your neighbours grass? This time of year folk are starting to plan their gardens and might welcome somone to dig their borders for them.

Do you have a budget? Do you know exactly to the penny how much your outgoings are? I do now but for years it was very hit and miss. Perhaps you could post a rough idea of spending and perhaps some of us could help you make adjustments? Do you pay things like phone and electric/gas/telly licence by Direct debit? I know these things wont help with the immediate problem of the mortgage arrears but it might make you feel more in control of your money if you could see where it was going. Also even cutting £10 off your food budget could mean £10 off a debt - every little bit helps.

I found a lot of my debt problems were simply an attitude - why shouldnt I have nice things now? credit is too easily avaiblable and even ads on the telly create an idea of the perfect lifestyle. My expectations were simply too high and I used credit cards to fulfill them - I know that perhaps this is not the case for you but the point I am trying to make (probably badly!!!) is that attitude has a lot of bearing on how you manage your money. I had to accept that it was me who got myself into a hole by wanting things.

When I became really frugal (stretching a chicken for 5 or 6 meals and somtimes washing clothes without soap or using my home made stuff) at first it was awful and I ranted and raved and couldnt wait until I could make more money to spend - a change of attitude and I now find it great fun to see just how far I can stretch my money.

Perhaps a change of attitude would help - instead of thinking about the whole situation and feeling overwhelmed perhaps just concentrate on one thing at a time and by making small cutbacks gradually move forward bit by bit.

I'm sorry I cant be of more help with advise about your mortgage arrears - hopefully the CAB will be able to help.

I hope I havnt offended by offering some suggestions - as I have been there in the past I know how hard it is even just to admit to money problems never mind having to listen to advice, although kindly meant, which didnt relate to my circumstances.

Wish you all the best

cheers

Linda

Heddwen_2

Hi

Just to let you know theres still no reply from either BOS mortgages or DMS. I have phoned both several times but not getting anywhere (no reply form DMS, not much feedback from BOS).

I am still being called twice a week from the lettings agancy so I take that as positive note that they are keen to get a mover on and may have people lined up given the go ahead. Still have to work at it though as the fees will be hard to find initially.

Thought id keep you all updated, thanks for the patience, input and support!

Heddwen

:-/

nh

Linda,

I thought your post was really helpful to Heddwen, it shows she is not the only one in this situation and that there is a way out no matter how tough.

Heddwen,

I know this is against the rules, but could you find a lodger without letting the mortgage company know? I had a friend live with me for a while and I didn't tell my mortgage lender, how would they find out? Obviously, it is best to get their permission but if they refuse to let you do it how would they know if you went ahead and did it anyway?

Please don't all jump on me and say I am irresponsible - it is just a suggestion!

Heddwen_2

;D

Well after a lot of chasing up I have managed to get a reply of positive news.

I got the letter today with the agreement to allow us to let our house out but on a short term agreement of a maximum 12 months, beyond wich we would have to switch to a buy to let mortgage.

They have agreed to allow us to let it out without having to clear the arrears first - so I feel we have at least achieved one battle.

Thy will compound the arrears and add it onto the end of the mortgage with a 4.99% interest. I don't honestly understand what this means so any advise would be helpful.

We have to make a new payment arrangement and thr BOS need to recieve the first amount by mid June to comply with their terms.

They stupidly forgot to enclose the terms and conditions of their letting and the form they wanted us to sign and return, so I had to call them up today to ask it to be resent. They are onto it. As usual we have to confirm within 28 days we are going ahead with letting else they will assume we havent bothered and if they discover we did without confirming we will have broken the rules of conditional contract and be in trouble with BOS.

In the meantime we had thought about just letting ur spare room out again and the more I think on this and add up the fact that our total amount of debt is creeping up each month I am wondering if its a better option. Not that I want to go back on any decisions we have had to make just I am re evauating the bigger picture. Although this would more than likely mean having to clear the mortgage arears whilst staying put.

We shall have to think long and hard.

Any more advise anyone??

Thanks so much as usual for help and support.

Have a good weekend.

:-*

Heddwen_2

::)

Now the bad news. Just looked at my statement from the bank that arrived this morning to discover theyre charging me £110 in bank charges for bounced DD's this month

Thanks to the vets bill for tests on our dog being an un planned expense it had put me overdrawn by £50 without agreement.

Relating to a previous post reguarding my bank manager not allowing me to hav a £50 overdraft to be used as a buffer zone. Ive asked him several times in the past year or so and still it remains a no! To me this is just being awkward and is costing me in bank charges each time I slip overdrawn even for 24 hours! I could pay my our wages with what the bank gets in charges!

I am still waiting fo the final vetrs bill for having my doggy put to sleep and buried. I dread to think how much this one will be. The test totalled £50 alone!

trafalgar_2

Hi Heddwen
"Thy will compound the arrears and add it onto the end of the mortgage with a 4.99% interest. I don't honestly understand what this means so any advise would be helpful. "

This means they will put it on the end.......in other words ,say your mortgage finishes in 10 years it would carry on for longer until the "arrears/extra " bit is paid off

Someone correct me if I am wrong please

Heddwen_2

:-/

So compounding isnt that bad then? It just means that theyve added the arrears back onto the mortgage so we still owe it just not imediately?

Phew, if this is correct understanding at last BOS see our sense and have a little bit of care for us. Or maybe its the fact they don't want to lose the investment due to such a small debt (in their big company) either more like!

Now what would happen if we approached BOS for a loan to clear all our other debts and asked them to add this to our mortgage? If they agreed we would be happy then!

Have a smashing weekend all.

nh

Hi Heddwen,

Be careful. As I understand it the arrears you owe will be added onto the end of your mortgage but in the meantime you will pay interest on it. So by the time you get to the end of your mortgage you will have a lot more than just the £2000 to pay (if that is the amount of arrears they are adding). Maybe you could agree to pay a little more every month on your mortgage to pay off those arrears quicker?

Also, they may consider a re-mortgage to consolidate the rest of your debts but I would steer clear of this as it does not sort out the major problem you have that your outgoings are more than your income. You may only get yourselves back in the same situation even if you get rid of your current debt.

PS I think I misuderstood before re. not telling the mortage company about a lodger - I didn't know you were thinking about renting out your whole house again. It seems like a big step to move out. Will you be living with parents? Good that BOS have agreed tho, it gives you that flexibility at least

I really hope it all works out.

Heddwen_2

Hi NH

Yes we will be living with husbands parents, a bit cramped so they'll only take us in for 6 - 12 months max. Have to find somewhere for our cat to go for the duration also as they're not too keen on having it.

Theyve not long lost their last cat / pet and they've vowed not to have anymore. Even though its our cat and we will pay for it whilst lodging there.

This is why we have reverted slightly to the idea of trying to find a lodger for our spare bedroom instead.

Thanks for the advice, perhaps we will be able to sort out a few pounds extra but not much more.

How will this compounding and adding to the mortgage affect us when we come to sell? Does it affect us more now as we are on an intrest only repayments? How will it affect us if say when we are able to we switched to a straight repayment? Are we going to get troubles and problems? The ultimate question is how long will this remain on our credit file and affect us?


Never-ending questions I know but one problem solved leads to another I think they call this life ::)
Thanks

nh

Don't know about any of that. Sorry! Maybe you could ask a similar question on the mortgages board and provide a link to this one and one of the mortgage experts may be able to help.