what time would you say was the right bedtime for an 11 year old?

Paparika

Ds is 14 and a half and its 10pm for him, but i often hear his tv on when i pop to the loo at 10.30, but then again he gets up about 6 ish to take the dog out and only once overslept because he forgot his alarm.

about 11 on weekends and holidays

minerva_windsong

When I was 11 I was going to bed about 9, with lights out at 9.30.

sarymclary

My 11 y/o has just gone up to secondary school, and as part of that transition, he's been allowed to go to bed half an hour later, so he now goes up at 9pm, but it's straight to sleep. His 9 y/o brother goes up at 8pm, lights out 8.30pm. It's the same for every day of the week.

I have a 15 y/o and 17 y/o and they have to go to bed at 10pm, and we allow them to have a half hour wind down till lights out. I make allowances for weekends if they have a special event to go to.

We believe that a good night's sleep sets them up for the day, and stops them being grumpy and argumentative. I struggled to get a proper bedtime routine with my eldest from the word go, so worked really hard to impose one for them all.

We went to a family party last month, and my 2 youngest boys were very tired, and the youngest was sobbing at 9pm that he was so tired and needed to go to sleep. He was begging me to let him go lie in the car! I had to take them outside the venue for some fresh air, and gave them a rare glass of Pepsi to perk them up. They slept like logs that night, but it took almost 4 days for them to get over that late night.

busiscoming2

My ds is 12 and for the past year his schooltime bedtime is 8.30 and lights out at 9pm. Weekends and holidays it is usually about 9pm.

Alizarin

sarymclary wrote: »

My 11 y/o has just gone up to secondary school, and as part of that transition, he's been allowed to go to bed half an hour later, so he now goes up at 9pm

It was the same for me when I was 11 and started secondary school - ahhh, the excitement of being allowed to stay up that extra 30 minutes until 9pm!

bestpud

I alter dds(7) bedtime according to how she is on the current time, and will carry on with that method.

I do believe in routine and I think it is better for children to have a set time, but what that time is depends on their individual needs, and yours too.

I think it is important for parents to have some couple time in the evening, so, perhaps you could use this point to compromise with your OH?

Maybe, lights out at 10.30pm, but she goes up to her room at 9.30, 9.45 or 10pm?

Only if she is able to cope with that bed time though; I'd revise it if she started looking tired in the morning.

sarahs999

I'm big on early bed, so I'd say 8.30. 10.30 is way too late for a kid, they need proper sleep. I'm grumpy if I'm much later than 10.30!

londoner1998

notsayingaword wrote: »

My 13 year old has to be in bed by 10pm and that has only been a recent thing as his bedtime was 9.30 before that. There's no way I'd let him stay up until 10.30 on a school night as a) it's too late, b) he needs his sleep so that he won't be ratty at school the next day and c) I want a kid free night!

Stepdaughter (11 years old) stays with us on the weekends and she is in bed by 9 pm, for all the reasons givne by Notsayingaword , as well as the fact that she needs a routine and discipline- I just can's see how it is productive or beneficial for her to stay up late- whatever is on TV is not suitable for her and late starts on the weekend are not good, much better up earlish and off to the park/swimming pool, etc...we realsied that in those occasions when she goes to bed late, she gets up very late and very apathetic...
OH doesn't always want to agree but he knows it is good for her...10.30 pm??? No way! I am in bed by that time...

DeeDee74

Mine go to bed at 9 on a school nite.,Thay are 11 and 12.

later at weekends thats normaly about 10 or later if thay've been really good or we are out.

traveller

Hi I too believe that you have to listen to individual body clocks or at least don't assume if so and so sends their child to bed at a certain time then that 'right'.Too much sleep is just as bad as too little. My younger 2 are 10 and 12. If either of them go to bed before 10pm they cannot function properly the next day.They naturally wind down by 10 and probably asleep come 11pm then up like clockwork at 7am the absolute latest.They inherit this from their dad.My eldest on the other hand is like me.We both need more sleep.