HELP need advice, just split with partner today

Edinburghlass_2

There are so many inconsistancies in missk's postings that is it very difficult to work out exactly what is the situation :rolleyes:

Your first postings all involved how your OH could easily get out of paying back any of his £80,000 debt and how you were sitting pretty with your own mortgage at 20 and very much advocated cash in hand jobs and how to "fiddle the system" Now it appears you obtained your mortgage through what you call a "good broker" via the self certification route which depended on your OH's contributions which came from his many cash in hand jobs, this could be termed as fraud.

As you haven't completed on the house purchase why do you want to stay in this area that you say is extremely inconvenient and costly for you.

In another thread you talk about getting the OH's ex to be paying towards his £80,000 debt that you claim they ran up together, I would hazzard a guess you could be next in the firing line and be expected to pay towards some of the debt run up by cruising together with the OH.

missk_ensington

My OH's debt was from before I met him (I didn't actually find out about it until we moved in together last year) I wouldn't be 'in the firing line' of his debt, I paid for my own cruise out of my own earnings and he paid for his own-where he got the money aint my problem or responsibility. I never condoned him racking up £80k of debt (Other than mortgage I have no debt), but by the time I found out I loved him and decided to stay and support him.

My mum's properties all have Long term tenants, she cant exactly kick one out, and I couldn't live in my home town because a)Id lose my deposit on house and what Ive paid so far in fee's and b) couldn't realistically commute every day to my job 3 days a week, and I need this job to entitle me to the working tax credits worth £108 a week.

My DLA is for a heart condition, I had two heart attacks when I was 17 and had a pacemaker put in at 18. I still blackout intermittently, sometimes 2-3 times a month other times not for a couple of months. Ive had 2 operations this year already but my ondition is a mystery to the doctors-all they know is my heart suddenly races to 200+ beats per minute for no reason and I blackout. As a result, I cannot be alone with fire/pans of hot water/ in a bath... and get DLA to pay for carer. I did have a carer but I'm so skint Ive had to cancel her vsits for the time being and take the risk of something happening.

As for my son, well I think plenty of parents dont see their child Mon-Fri 9-5 do they not? I dont think that makes me a bad mother.

A lodger would be a last resort, and merely a suggestion from another user. I couldn't take a lodger because I hope to sell the house as soon as I possibly can, and I couldn't take a lodger knowing the length of time I can offer lodgings will be uncertain.

My ex worked cash in hand before he knew me for 20 years, when I was with him, and no doubt until he retires. I personally have done nothing illegal, okay the mortgage is slightly dodgy but so long as I repay it and never default I don't see the problem.

In offering the lady bankruptcy options I was offering help (and Ive been PM'd by plenty of fellow bankrupts asking me 'How to con the OR' so dont tell me everyones bloody honest, they're not! Even if they appear so on the board, theyve mailed me straight after asking for tips!!!) I still dont have an issue in conning banks and multi-million pound companies, especially when its for the survival of your family and to keep as much as you can for your children, and keep as much money as you can to provide and have a nice house for them. Sorry if that makes me a bad person, but I'm doing the best I can to be successful and carve out a stable financial future for me and my son, and if I have to be unscrupulous in doing that, so as not to be on my !!!!!! with nothing, then I have no option. Im working hard, Im earning an honest PAYE living, claiming tax credits the gov say Im entitled to, if I've managed to get a mortgage for £20,000 more than other lenders would give by putting VAT on the truth then so be it! Didnt have much choice since I couldn't buy a shed in someones garden for the £60,000 I could lend legitimately!

Fran

missk_ensington wrote:

....I still blackout intermittently, sometimes 2-3 times a month other times not for a couple of months. Ive had 2 operations this year already but my ondition is a mystery to the doctors-all they know is my heart suddenly races to 200+ beats per minute for no reason and I blackout. As a result, I cannot be alone with fire/pans of hot water/ in a bath.....

Have you informed DVLA about this (are you allowed to drive with this?).

It's fair enough you taking a risk yourself but if you black out when caring for your child it's a different matter isn't it?

The thing with all your ideas is that individually they are fine, even one or two together, but you really won't be able to do a full time course which involves commuting every day, hold down 3 jobs, look after your child (and with a heart condition where presumably stress won't help). In fact practically I doubt whether you will find childcare to cover the hours you are talking about.

missk_ensington

I've finished uni now until October (except revision/exams) so I have 2 full days free where my son is in childcare. I was thinking I could do something then, or maybe try and do an ironing service which I can do at home when my sons in bed?? Or maybe cleaning for 2-3 hours a week? Just an extra £10-15 a week would be a huge help.

Im allowde to drive because the doctor has concluded I can't collapse sat down. He noticed a consistency that I was always standing and this is because when my heart goes crazy it struggles to pump the blood against a gradient (or something like that!). I probably wouldn't ever collapse in the bath but its just a caution. As soon as I've got a bit of money I'll pay the carer again, but I just dont have the money right now. Was thinking of getting one of them things old people have in care homes, like a mat they strap round their waist and an alrm goes off if they fall out of bed and the sensors hit the floor.

I couldn't live without my car, I do 500 miles a week and I literally could not manage without a car. If I didn;t have it I might as well give up now! Wouldn't be able to get to work 17 miles away or uni 70 miles away, and then I'll have lost everything!

bikerqueen

missk_ensington wrote:

I personally have done nothing illegal, okay the mortgage is slightly dodgy but so long as I repay it and never default I don't see the problem.

Apart from tutoring and not declaring it to the tax man and shouting about people should have no shame in defrauding tax. Where do you think benefits come from? If we all did it people with disabilities, low incomes etc would be well and truly stuffed.

Edinburghlass_2

According to this thread you complete on your house in three weeks and will move into it away from rented property with your OH. In another thread you have already spent £10k on this house, including £600 on a top of the range cooker.

In the Old Style board you intimate you are already living in this house and paying the mortgage but will be changing this mortgage to interest only, strange when you haven't completed yet

People on MSE are always willing to help users when they are in trouble with lots of very helpful advice and links but please don't take people for fools.

You may be happy to post about "how to con the OR" (I assume you mean IR) but MSE certainly doesn't condone this.

Fran

Edinburghlass wrote:

..... In another thread you have already spent £10k on this house, including £600 on a top of the range cooker.

That's interesting because in this thread you claim that

Its lucky its summer because there's no heating, no carpets, nothing! I don't mean its a wreck with dodgy wallpaper, it literally has no kicthen, carpets, no heating, its as bad as a house can be!

missk_ensington

Can i set the record straight here. My partner left on Wednesday, prior to this we were indeed moving out of a rented house into a mortgaged one.

We have bought a range cooker, we got it ex-display from the kitchen firm my now ex worked for, and paid for it and intended keeping it there until we moved, although I doubt I'll get hold of it now cos he'll have taken it.

£10k was our budget for doing it up, (a budget my mum always uses before anyone says Im naive for thinking I can do it on that amount). When I refered to 'we've spent £10k' perhaps this is my northen dialect but I am referring the plans for the house. Perhaps I should have rephrased 'I will spend £10k' but I tend to write as I speak and thats how I speak.

The house does indeed have no carpets etc etc (which the budget was for) only the budget no longer exists because my ex left.

I haven't suggested Im already living in this property, again, maybe thats come it may come across, I think I said something like 'I can/will change the mortgage to interest only'. Well I can and will, I can do this at any point- whilst application is going through, whilst waiting to complete, to moving in, to six months down the line-whenever I want.

Bikerqueen- I think you'll find the majority of benefit/tax cheats are the ones claiming the benefits in the first place! Where I live, every single person I know on benefit is doing some cash job. Where I live you literally cannot get a bar job that isn't cash, because they know people won't work. I know, my dads got a pub and he says unless he pays cash no one will do it, cos they're all on the fiddle. I know at least a dozen people off the top of my head claiming DLA/Incapacity who work on the side, usually in a trade doing 'foreigners'. Im not saying there aren't a lot of genuine people, but wake up and smell the coffee!! Have you people grown up completely sheltered or are you just truly naive and think everyone is intrinsically honest??

You have no idea how many emails/PM's I had asking for advice of fiddling tax/bankruptcy/benefits.... I dont know why, I aint an expert, Ive never fiddled benefits and I'm not about to set up self-assesment tax returns for £12 a week I earn private tuition 3-4 months of the year before exam time (When I dont pay tax anyway as Im a full time student working part time at weekend and holidays)

Nor did I post 'How to con the OR' I was replying to a thread from someone wanting help cos her partner was going bankrupt. Everyone advised her to hide her car, and TV's or anything the OR couldn't find. Hello? Is this not fraud also! In fact most of the advice given to her by other people was mild fraud and there's me getting slated because I merely suggested if he's in such a load of debt and they're seriusly struggling and he was definately going bankrupt, the try and withdraw cash advances on any credit they have left and keep it until he's discharged. And you know something? I bet she did.

bikerqueen

missk_ensington wrote:

Bikerqueen- I think you'll find the majority of benefit/tax cheats are the ones claiming the benefits in the first place! Where I live, every single person I know on benefit is doing some cash job. Where I live you literally cannot get a bar job that isn't cash, because they know people won't work. I know, my dads got a pub and he says unless he pays cash no one will do it, cos they're all on the fiddle. I know at least a dozen people off the top of my head claiming DLA/Incapacity who work on the side, usually in a trade doing 'foreigners'. Im not saying there aren't a lot of genuine people, but wake up and smell the coffee!! Have you people grown up completely sheltered or are you just truly naive and think everyone is intrinsically honest??

You are quite amazing.

sanfrancisco

Have you exchanged contracts yet? It seems you havn't. If not, back out. You suggest that you will have to pay a penalty, but I think you shouldcheck the small print. Sure, you will have to pay survey and lawyers fees, but this shouldn't be TOO much and will not leave you with a problem house that needs doing up.

You also plan to sell at the end of the summer. This will only be a few months into the mortgage. MOST mortgages have a period (normally 2 years), whereby if you sell you will have to pay a penalty. Check this. You want to go into this with ALL the facts.

Also, what if you cannot sell this house for a profit, what if you have to sell it for a loss, because house prices have gone down, bad time of year to sell, you run out of money to do it up, interest rates go up etc etc.

Basically, this house seems to be the biggest problem. If I were you I would get out of it, any way I could.