What is the point?

emmington_2

Hiya,

I agree with lazybez - there do seem to be signs of depression in your message. I realise that you have said how can we understand as everyones circumstances are different but in very many ways we are all dealing with similar problems that cause similar emotions.

Without going in to detail I have been through a few very bad experiences in the last year or so which had caused me to talk the way you have in your post. I finally realised - only a month or so ago - that I was suffering with depression. This depression had an impact on my social and financial circumstances in a very bad way. I am now seeking help for that depression and now that I am feeling better with myself everything has started to come together again and I am back on track. Sometimes the problems that you are faced with i.e. finances are not the root of the problem and if you can get to the root of the problem everything falls back into place.

I have an unbelievably good friend who has been my hero and helped me pull through but ultimately if you do not want to help yourself, with all the want in the world, no one else can do it for you.

Your life doesn't have to be rubbish for 5 years. Find hobbies - what do you like doing? I recently took up a course with the Open University and am due to start playing hockey with the local teams once a week. These hobbies cost a considerable amount less than the money that I used to pi** up the wall of a weekend so I give myself that leeway. Every penny doesn't have to go on debt, but be wise with the hobbies that you choose and how much they cost.

Organising your finances and making note of every single outgoing helps. Making note of debt that you have paid helps as you can see it going down.

The battle is worth fighting for and I bet in 5 years time you will look back and ask yourself what all the fuss was about.

If you are living with you parents can you maybe talk to them and explain your situation? Maybe then they will let you live rent free for a while? Are you in a position to get a part time job? I know that sounds lame but I used to have a part time job that I loved, think of the things that you like maybe animals or sports and you can get a part time job based around that at a vets or a leisure centre. I used to love my part time job. And... you meet new people. Getting out and meeting people is good.

Don't ever give up. It will be worth it.

Emmington.

davilown

Hey Losing it

Good to see that you have seen a ray of light in the doom and gloom.

There are many of us here that have been in the same position as you and that ray of light, even so far away, still provides enough light to keep you going.

Use the support that people are providing here as help for yourself in the forthcoming months - it's genuine, and people are not gaining anything by giving it to you (accept maybe a bit of self gratification in passing on their own views and experiences!).

Savings are great - even now I have 3k saved that could be used to pay off other debt. I think, like yourself, that the knowledge and subsequent feeling of security of that money is holding me back in fast tracking the final payoff - but, I know in 5 months, I will owe nothing (except 5 months of a remaining 0% finance agreement of a exceptionally comfortable mattress ;0)).

It won't be long before you feel that you are nearly there - you'll be so glad you used that part of your savings to sort this out (not all of it of course - makes sense to keep some for a rainy day/unfortunately series of events).

Keep us upadated and, of course, put your SOA on here. It may help bring you to complete realisation of what (we all do it) you are 'wasting' your money on.

:beer:

cherry545

Hi there - just came across this thread and it has realy helped me. Im 37 still living with folks, Im also in debt to the tune of £22k - parents know nothing about this and would be totally shocked. I know how I run this amount up but cant believe how stupid ive been to let it get out of hand. I would go for an IVA but im too scared incase it goes wrong. It has really helped me to know that im not on my lonesome and that there are others like me.

beanielou

Hi cherry545 & welcome to wonderful MSE
Take care & keep posting.

In_Search_Of_Me

cherry545 wrote: »

Hi there - just came across this thread and it has realy helped me. Im 37 still living with folks, Im also in debt to the tune of £22k - parents know nothing about this and would be totally shocked. I know how I run this amount up but cant believe how stupid ive been to let it get out of hand. I would go for an IVA but im too scared incase it goes wrong. It has really helped me to know that im not on my lonesome and that there are others like me.

h cherry and welcome to mse...maybe if you post your own thread then you can get some indicidual advice on here. You certainly are not alone!! lots of us, if not millions, here with you! All of us have felt foolish, ashamed, embarssed, angry...the list goes on so please dont feel you are alone.

losing it hope you are ok? At the end of the day debt is not worth it...there are always ways out without doig anything to harm yourself. Its incredibly hard when you feel depressed, have no money and can see no way out but there is always a solution...please feel free to pm if you want a private chat but please also go and see your gp...stress has a huge impact on your physical and mental health and sometimes just trying to deal with this makes the world seem a happier, more manageable place to be! hugs for you!

fc123

Hi Losingit....is your card interest frozen and you pay x pcm?
You may be able to offer F + F settlements.
You call up and say a family member wishes to help you out (not that you have savings) and would they consider Full and Final Settlements as you are struggling with the payment plan they have arranged. You don't need to say much else.

We have just F + F 2 X MBNA cards. 1 @ 30p in £ and other @ 40p in £.
You can pay it yourself....you don't need the family member to do it for you. Barcalycard took 40p in £ too.

Keep posting here as full of support plus the DFW way of life can be a bit addictive once you get into it too.;)

It's just my humble opinion..but pls don't buy a new car until you are debt free.......I only post from my own experience...so it's not a critism at all.

Losing_it

*UPDATE* Thankyou once again for all the support, everyone has trully helped.


OK so I've not been here for a little while since posting but that does not mean I've wavered, far from it, it's simly been there has not been anything to report/update with until now.

Firstly the car thing, I have decided to drop the idea of taking advantage of the scrappage scheme, though it was financially viable I felt that money will be of better use elsewhere. I have instead given myself a smaller budget to get a smaller newer but still second hand motor, have my eye on one but whether that is still there when the finance is in place who knows, if it's meant to be then it will be.

Now I know what your thinking, what the hell is he doing well, I'm also pleased to report the cc debt will be cleared in the next month. Another debt cleared, the overdraft will be cleared by November if not sooner. So that then leaves me with just the loan, which, yes it's alot but mangeable for me. To make proper payments whilst also getting on with my life. By Christmas I will be more stable in a way financially and will then look to move out and rent a room somewhere in the new year.

Suffice to say I've informed PP I'll not be requiring there assistance.

There I've done it, I saw the light again and done something positive to deal with things. I saw the light nearly two years ago, gaining control and stopped the debts buliding but to my self annoyance never actually dealt with them so I've just been nibbling at them.

Just a quick question, not sure if it should be posted here or if I should put it in a proper forum, but how do you go about repairing/improving your credit score. Don't get me wrong, I have now cards now and have not used credit since I destroyed them 2 years ago and I am certainly not going done that road again believe me. But if a time comes when I may be fortunate enough and in a position to apply for a mortgage, this period will have a detrimental affect won't it.

So what would happen?

JWM

Hello, pleased to see the update above - well done you! :T:T

Just wanted to say that when the future Mr JWM and I first got together he was living at home - no biggie, he'd been away and circumstances brought him back. Made things easier when we moved in together 6 months later!

Money is just numbers on a bit of paper - don't let it rule your life.

Best of luck to you.

Losing_it

JWM wrote: »

Hello, pleased to see the update above - well done you! :T:T
Money is just numbers on a bit of paper - don't let it rule your life.

Thankyou JWM and I totally agree, money should not rule your life, I've definitly realised that. I now intend to live within my means and be happy, rather than struggle to live a dream life but then carry and worry about debt. It would be nice to have a nice motor but as long as it's decent and gets me from a to b, which let's face it is what a car essentilally does anyway nothing more, then that will be good enough.

savingcaz

I am only just starting out on our debt management but i know how u feel, i've been so depressed about it but as a few ppl have said you've got lots of good stuff in your life. I know it may not seem like it at the moment but just keep going - 5 years isn't that long in the grand scheme of things!!