What is the point?

Losing_it

Ok try again, have to say I'm not suprised at the response or your replies. I have gone through my SOA but have not posted it here as i've realised if I really pull things in, not go out and only use the car for work then I could afford to pay £500-£600pm. I have around £7000k of savings which I have considered using to clear the card debt and some of the o/d but that would leave me with nothing for the future. Plus the car is getting on abit and I'm not sure it will get through the next mot.

How and why I got into this mess is of no relevence as it's in the past, I know why and recognise that.

Kittiej, you have hit the nail on the head but in a very much understated way. I would say I am extremely angry if not hateful of myself for getting myself in this mess and ruining the last 15 years of my life and what future I might of had if I had not made the wrong choices and decisions in the past. I now feel I am unable to make decisions and simply no longer trust myself to do so for fear of making another wrong choice and making things worse.

Just over a year ago I began paying for Driving Instrutor Training, however despite believing this was for me and was really up for it, it ticked all the boxes. I now consider this to have been a total waste of money, which could have, rather should have, been used to pay debts.

I think I need to stop there or I will go on and on about how I view life and this country, this is about dealing with debt and I would be taking the thread off down other lines.


I will see about an appointment with a gp on Monday.

I will also contact the relevent department to get an exact figure on the overdraft and loan. I do know I am not far out on what I believe it to be as I had a statement in April and a few paymets have been made since then

Happytogetdebtfree

Losing it why not use half if your savings to clear the debt it's no good having savings when the intrest on debt is probably costing you more than you actually make in your saver account. Think how much better you would feel if you could possibly clear a debt well done for posting at work so can't type much x

Losing_it

Interest is frozen on the card so it is not an issue. I am loathe to use the savings as it's all I have and it may be needed in an emergency at some point. If all my earnings are used to pay living expenses and debts then I'll not be saving anything.

Buffythedebtslayer

Ok this may sound harsh and truthfully I am only trying to help, but this Losing it, This is an emergency.

You seem deeply unhappy, "hateful of yourself" Seriously what other emergency could there be?

xxxx

kittiej

Hi Losing it

Ok I think we need to find you a positive focal point.

We make suggestions but at the end of the day it will be up to you to decide.

You say that it will take you about 5-6 years to pay off your debts, well if that's the case why not set yourself the challenge of becoming debt free by the time you're 38.5? (sorry I tried to put a half but it looked ridiculous)

AT that age you are still plenty young enough to meet someone so don't worry about that.

OK so can you meet all your repayments?

Could you do something like the payment a day challenge?

Or what about your own debt free diary?

You decide what you want to do and we will see how we can help and give you the support you need.

Have a think and get back to us.

MarkinDiss

Hi, I have looked at your posts again. Have you heard of the "snowball" effect on your debts. You have £7k savings, need to pay £400 p/m and have a minimum of £500 p/m available. If you use £2k of savings to start paying off the debt then pay at £450 p/m you will soon see the debt reduce and still have money left to build your savings back up again or enjoy yourself. And you will still have £5000 left in the bank for other emergencies.
As to women, they will appreciate someone who is financially astute when you talk to them. They do not all want a millionaire, just someone who can be in charge of their own life, as you are now trying to be.

Again, best wishes and I hope to hear that you have got on the road to recovery,

Mark

cashless_wonder

I can sympathise with the at home with the folks situation. 34, stuck here without possibility of parole for the forseeable future.

I was in a long term relationship but found when it ended that as a single person in London I am priced out of the housing market & the majority of the rental market is so far out my league on a shop-workers wages it's actually become a running joke. I recently visited some distant cousins & they had a cabin in the back garden for the kids to hang out in that was actually bigger than any of the flats round here supposedly within my monthly price range.

Yeah it sucks, I'm a year & a bit into a new relationship and I can't bring him home which does add to expenses but I'm becoming a dab hand at finding bargain train travel & cash-back on hotels and more importantly I've learnt to actually pay for these things there & then instead of whacking them on the never never to deal with later.

Sorry to ramble, but think of this as a chance to fix things . . . I know with what debt I currently carry I stand zero chance of being to get a 'life' but I know that with the lesser expenses of being back at home I can & will get shot of it. Join some of the challenges on here, you'll be surprised how small things can make a big difference.

I would & indeed have skimmed a bit off my savings to take a chunk off my debt. I still have 5K saved & that's staying there just in case the magic affordable place finally appears but there was & is no point on sitting on cash that can and will improve your situation. You earnt that money, worked hard for it now let it work for you & at least ease the pressure a little on you.

Take care of yourself - thinking of you

Losing_it

Hi all, thankyou for all the lovely messages of support, I am feeling somewhat better for it. I think my initial posts were a cry for help in a way just letting some out. I, unforunately, am the type of guy who lets things build up inside, I know not good. The thing is I would rather keep things to myself than tell people close to me as i know they have more than enough on their plate and telling them will not really help matters as the issue will still be there but I'm just adding to their stresses.

CashlessWonder, thankyou in particular for your post, it has made me realise there are people out there in very similar circumstances.

So, something I have been thinking about in the last day or two is the car and do I take advantage of this scrappage scheme before it finishes next month. My car at present is a 13yo Laguna 20ltr petrol, suffice to say it drinks the fuel like theres no tomorrow, not good now that s over the £1 per litre again. Then there's the tax which is due next month so that will be another six month at £90 odd or whatever it is these days (have that set aside). In addition to the MOT in March which I'd be suprised if it doesn't cost less than £500 to get through for another assumng it's deemed worthy.

I've been looking at the Hyndai i10, a really nice little car cheap and economical. I what am I thinking, I need to sort the debt out before even considering that..... what a mess.

Post more later probably.....

Losing_it

....lol ok that was quick, I've just Googled the scrappage scheme and found it runs until March next year, oh just in time for my mot. Now I'm starting to see some light and a target for myself. So the cc debt has the interest frozen, by my reckoning if I pull out the stops I could have that cleared by March which will just leave the loan to deal with.

Shoe_Gal

Have just read your thread through - am glad you are starting to see a way out

And FYI - l am single and 42 - and financial status/living arrangements don't even feature on my criteria :mad: Things like kindness, sense of humour, honesty are all must haves though - and l think l speak for many, many women in saying this