What is the point?

Losing_it

Hi all, well that was not a good start for , I'd just spent an age typing out a lengthy post only to find my loggin had timed out when I went to post eeerrrggghhh....

Anyway, I'll try again but it probably won't be as long, having realised something has to change a few days ago I have been browsing and seeking info and help.

The thing is it's not just the debt that is affecting me it's my whole life to the extent I'm sure I've become seriously depressed to the extent I've even wondered what is the point of continuing with it.

If I can briefly outline my circumstances;

Staus- Single
Age 34, 35 next month
Living with parents for last 18 mths, having previously lived on my own.
Employment, yes I should be thankul have a job, but I seriously struggle with it.
Finally of course the debt standing at just under £28k

PP say BR and IVA are not options as I am deemed able to pay the debt within reasonable amount of time and these would also affect my credit rating for the rest of my life. Well, sorry but I, to be lunt, couldn't give too hoots about the rating. The only reason i would look to seek credit would be for a mortgage but given my circumstances I'll never be in the postition to have a mortgage.

So, my issue is I consider my life to have been a total waste of time and see no reason why it would change in any way in the future. I can say it will definatley not change for another 5-6 years, as having sought advice form PP, they have come back with just one option, that being a DMP. I can apparently afford £400pm to pay the creditors which is a deemed a good position, even though it will mean my life will just about cease for the next 5yrs. They said peoples circumstances change all the time and if extra funds became available such as a pay rise then this could be added, thus reducing the repayment time. Good to know people at PP get pay rises because I cannot remember the last one I had, can you?

So, 5-6 yrs living as I am before I could even look at changing things, sorry but that is not something I could do.Ther would be no chance of looking to retrain, save money I have no pension to speak of that's really worth anything so it's not as if I'll have a nice retiurement to look forward to. Chances of finding a partner are remote still living at home, the list goes on and on.

Thoughts right now are not good, so what is the point.

Having been browsing already, I know I am going to hear how some of you have been is worse situations and come out the other side. That's great but without meaning to offend our, circumstances are invariably different,

I have nothing, what is the point of it all?
　

Happytogetdebtfree

Hi and welcome to the boards, what does your debt consist of and post an soa found at make sense of cards i dont know the link ... life is just begining... yes you have debt but considering how many people are on here i consider us debt busters the majority rather than the minority so you arent alone with life been on hold ...... if its going to take 5 years that means life can really start at 40, chin up cup of tea and post some details ps also a good idea to go on snowball calculator it helps you work out which things to pay off first etc etc xx look forward to hearing from you

anh1904

"I have nothing what is the point of it all".

I'm really sorry you think that.

I am older than you, have more debt than you, have more outgoings than you (I'd wager).

You are living with your parents. I lost my mother to cancer 10 years ago now. I'd forego every material possession I have to be able to spend more time with her.

You have a job, you have a place to live, and you presumably have more income that you NEED to support a reasonable lifestyle.

Have you ever done any self-esteem exercises?

Post a statement of affairs and I, along with plenty of other non-judgemental people will be along with suggestions as to where you might be able to make economies, and where you might be able to derive additional income, all of which could well make the situation a whole heap better.

BeautyandtheBeast_3

Hi, at the moment although it may not seem like it - you ARE in a good position. You have a Job, a roof over your head and have meals. I know its hard t liv back with your parents after a time living on your own but remember its not forever and parents only want to help and look after their offspring. Before you get too down about it post your SOA and people should be able to guide you and help you. Chin up - you arent alone in this xx

TotallyBroke

Hi and welcome, the link you will need is https://www.makesenseofcards.com/soacalc.html the thing with paypal etc is they are quite relaxed with the amounts you can put aside for things. People here will cut you back to the bare essentials and you will then be debt free quicker.
What did you spend all the money on? Can you sell to recoup some of the money?

Good luck although it can seem a struggle you will be surprised at what you can achieve in such a small time.
You can still fall in love while living at home with parents. They may not like you bringing girls/guys home but you can still have a relationship with people.

tallyhoh

Agree with the above posters. 5 years is not a long time. I have been tight fisted with myself since 1977 when I found myself in hospital, homeless & without a job & money.
I actually enjoy being a tight wad & looking for ways to save money. It just depends on how you look at things.

warren100uk_2

Hi Losing it,

I was in a similar frame of mind last year and tried to take my own life over my debts and the pressure.

I promise, life is worth it mate, but the debts are not worth your life.

Please, please dont do anything rash.

If you want to chat message me mate.

Please DONT lose it!!!

Mark

ladybez

Just to reinterate what several others have said, your life is worth something, even if you can't see it at the moment. Could I suggest that you make an appt. with your GP as there are some signs of depression in your post and you need some help with that, as well as your finances. Keep posting and good luck.

gettingbetter

losing it

you are among friends here
you can get as much help
as you want or need

we have all been where you are
post up your SOA and we
will all pick it to bits and try to help you

please dont think negative thoughts
think of the folks you would leave behind

you are in the pitts just now
but remember the only way is up

kas xx

rubyslipper

Agree with all the wise people above. I know it all seems bleak love but despite your point about everyone's situation being different, people have been there before and many are still there now. You must look after your health, first and foremost so I recommend a GP visit to discuss your stress levels and possible depression. Warren100uk sounds like he'd be a really good guy to talk to so as he says, do drop him a line - it might help.

Oh by the way, the whole living at home thing? I have loads of mates who've had to go back to doing that due to relationship break downs, job losses or money troubles ranging from ages 28 - 35 and my little brother is at home at the age of 29. If someone worth knowing comes along they'll like you for you, not where you live. Chin up x

Ames

I've taken an overdose in the past because of debt, believe me it's just not worth it. At the end of the day it's just numbers on a piece of paper, it's really not worth making yourself ill over.

If you're not happy with Payplan's advice then you can always try CCCS or CAB. CCCS told me that I should increase my payments, CAB looked at the same figures and recommended bankruptcy, so what one agency says isn't set in stone. But bear in mind that if you went bankrupt the OR would set how much you need to live on, and you could have less than payplan have suggested.

We really need to see the SOA to be able to give proper advice.

Five years really isn't that long, and it's possible to have some kind of life while you're debt busting.

As for you not finding someone, I've just split up from my partner and I can honestly say that I'm not looking for someone with their own home, fancy car or lots of money - I'm looking for someone who'll treat me with respect and dignity. Most women want personality in a man, not money and things! Well, the women worth having do anyway.