Help my DD ran up a £240 mobile phone bill

juliescot

espresso wrote: »

Obviously not that young then?

Do you not think that you should be punishing yourself for providing her with a contact phone?

Anyone having a contract phone needs to know what they can and cannot do with it, in terms of text.minutes/browsing etc.

Not that difficult to do or monitor, but in this case I would half her pocket money, remove her phone for certain times and make her work to pay you back.

weezl74

Feefeedee, I don't think I'd look at it as giving a punishment. In the grown up world, you spend= you pay. I'd be tempted not to express it as a punishment, merely as a natural consequence.

If you said, quite pleasantly but firmly, 'what ideas do you have about how you're going to pay your phone bill' I'd be interested to hear what she comes up with. I genuinely think this is closest to how it is in the real world, and therefore a valuable lesson for her. And it doesn't make you into the horrible punishing mum!

Pee

espresso wrote: »

Obviously not that young then?

Do you not think that you should be punishing yourself for providing her with a contact phone?

Quite the reverse. You have allowed her to experience low level debt in a controlled environment. Well done you. You may have helped her learn very important lessons very young.

kidcat

As someone has already said it depends largely on her age, my DS11 has a PAYG mobile which he takes out with him so I have the peace of mind knowing he can contact me, however it sits on the fireplace when he is in the house.
My DD14 however has a contract with orange for £10 pm, as it was costing more than that on PAYG and not getting anywhere near the amount of calls/texts, it was more economical.
The trouble is that if like me you want her to have a phone to use for emergencies and when she is out PAYG wont help because you will end up topping it up again after the money has run out, just for your peace of mind.

I found that my DD had been using her phone after light out (although she never goes over her limits) and simply took the phone away at night.
Taking the phone away all together sounds great, but the environment they are in with friends means they are effectively outcast/cut off from friends and with bullying etc its not something I would do.

I agree that taking some pocket money away to pay for it seems reasonable, but I would also look to prevention of a repeat by registering for online services and regularly check her balance of mins/texts. I check once a week to see that she is not getting close to her limits and would remind her if she was. She does sometimes ask me to check for her as she is concerned but usually monitors uses her phone counters each month.

I believe that this way she is learning to manage her use and stick within a budget (of min/texts) as it were, hopefully I am teaching her a valuable tool.
Many of my DD friends have run up high bills and my DD is always astounded how they can not realise, one has been put back on PAYG and is using alot of credit each month.

Pee

Plus it is normal for young people to want to talk to other young people pretty much 24 hours a day, normal but maybe not to be encouraged or financially supported!

emlou2009

i used to work in phones4u and then o2 and we saw this all the time unfortunately. the networks used to be able to put a block on after the inclusive minutes/texts had been used but they obviously realised they were losing money as they've stopped now, unless they have started again since i left in june last year. so the only way you could stop her from doing it again is to stop her using the phone. there are probably other tariff options where she would get more mins/texts to use but they would cost more monthly. i always felt so sorry for the parents that had tried so hard to do something nice for their children and they had just abused their trust. i'd never do it now!

nm123_2

I agree that it's quite relevent as to how old she is...... I'm going to work on the assumption that she's 14 or 15.

Personally, I think she needs to pay back the whole lot and she needs to be the one to work out how much and how often. It will be a good lesson is racking up/paying off debts and taking responsibility for her own actions (god I sound like my own mother!). I think interest should be applied if she is late with a payment too. Perhaps you could suggest things for her - ie half her pocket money goes to grandad each week, then she gets a paper round / Saturday job for the rest.

Bless your OH for doing overtime to cover it, I wonder if she appreciates this at all...

She definitely needs a PAYG too. Get that sorted asap!

I'd be interested to see how things work out. Good luck.

csh_2

kidcat wrote: »

I agree that taking some pocket money away to pay for it seems reasonable, but I would also look to prevention of a repeat by registering for online services and regularly check her balance of mins/texts. I check once a week to see that she is not getting close to her limits and would remind her if she was. She does sometimes ask me to check for her as she is concerned but usually monitors uses her phone counters each month.

This is what I do with my DD contract, although I'd forgotten for the past 2 weeks til I seen the title of this thread then logged on to check!
DD usually asks me to check if she thinks she might have had a chatty few days.

I think she should be paying the debt back, why not give her the choice of half her pocket money for double the time or all of it and it will pay back quicker? If half the PM give her the option of a minimum weekly amount (£5) then if she has extra money she can choose whether to put it towards the bill or not. Make up a payment card that she can keep and you mark the money off when she pays.

Maddie

If she has a contract that gives that many minutes - did she also get a fancy phone with it?

If so she also has the option of selling the phone on ebay and replacing it with something cheap, this would probably go a long way towards the £240.

I definately agree that a paid contract plus £520 pocket money a year is incredibly generous, and that getting her to pay her own phone bill should in no way be seen as punishment - it should be expected. In fact she should be incredibly greatful for you, OH and grandad for helping her out until she can pay it off.

reehsetin

i doubt o2 will set a limit most networks have stopped this practice now, see if you can change the phone down to a lower plan even if you cant cancel, make her pay it back maybe take half her pocket money and let her contribute whatever else she can e.g. a bit more pocket money or by doing jobs just keep a log.

I had a contract phone since i was about 12, tell her if she goes over again thats it no phone no payg she can use the reverse call service in an emergency & a pocket money reduced to £2 (hopefully just scare her enough not to do it again) she can check her balence for free however often she wants by texting a blank message to 20212 (i think thats the right number) so she has no excuse going over