How much to give a 17 year old?

arlybarly

sunnyflower wrote: »

i still can't get head around the fact that my daughter has to work 3 weekends out of 4 (and overtime if available) whilst studyinging for a levels, whilst some of her mates are sitting on their backsides, using ema for driving lessons, socialising etc.
How can my daughter, and others in her position, understand and learn a work ethic in a society where you get rewarded for doing nowt!
When i read the recent information manual from 6th form, it said that students aren't encouraged to work because it can interfere with thier studies; fine if they are lucky enough to have parents to give them a generous allowance, or can sit back and wait for handouts, but millions of families like mine aren't in that fortunate position.
Some single mothers may have a low wage, but their bills mortgage etc are paid by their absent husband; this doesn't get counted in the ema calculations though does it???
It makes me cross that my husband and i are penalised for having a functional family and work for a living!

exactly !!!!!!!!!

oystercatcher

I think music lessons and driving lessons count as basic education and should be paid for by parents if they can afford it. If the parents can't afford it then it has to be so but I think it's a shame.
Travel to school and lunches should definitely be paid by parent, if money is tight then pack lunches and long walks aren't the end of the world. It puzzles me that parents are happy for their children to stay at school but then not willing to pay for basics like this they will still be recieving family allowance and CTC to help with these costs.

Cosmetics and magazines are non-essentials and count as luxury items, if a parent choses to buy these then that is their decision. I would expect things like this to come out of a childs own pocket money or earnings just the same as phone top ups and nights out. The same for clothing over and above the basic necessities. It's not essential to have all the latest fashion items.

Some posters don't seem to appreciate how hard it is for youngsters to find jobs at the moment. Also the fact that working really does detract from their study. My boys school reckoned that three hours a week working brought their final grades down by one mark.
Working IS also a choice at this stage, nobody's child HAS to work three weekends out of four, the child chose this so they could have extra's. Many children chose not to have driving lessons or wild nights out. If they are having to work to pay towards household expenses like travel and lunches then there is something seriously wrong.

bestpud

oystercatcher wrote: »

I think music lessons and driving lessons count as basic education and should be paid for by parents if they can afford it. If the parents can't afford it then it has to be so but I think it's a shame.

Travel to school and lunches should definitely be paid by parent, if money is tight then pack lunches and long walks aren't the end of the world. It puzzles me that parents are happy for their children to stay at school but then not willing to pay for basics like this they will still be recieving family allowance and CTC to help with these costs.

It is not an issue of money!

I take a packed lunch myself, and there is food at home for my dd to do the same.

I spend family allowance on food for her, but as I see it, bought lunches are a luxury and that, she can pay for herself!

It's about them learning to compromise and seeing they can't always have everything they want.

As for travel, I see no reason for a parent to provide money for this either, unless they have to use it to get to college. If they can walk, then using a bus is a luxury imo.

I give dd a lift if it is pouring with rain though; that is what families do for each other!

She isn't spoilt though and would not expect me to pay for buses, or indeed food, she doesn't need.

I do pay course fees, and for equipment and the like of course, and she has access to a computer/internet etc for doing work. Those are essential course costs.

bestpud

arlybarly wrote: »

Yes i do realise this im not that thick !!!!!!! It should not go on the parents income but ALLLL kids should get the same ammount regardless, some people have massive mortgages and 5 kids and earn 31000 a year but not have any more disposable income than someone on 15ooo a year whose kid gets EMA. Yes i am one of the lucky ones that i have paid off my mortgage last week and earn a liveable wage, but i might not be in this position and might not be able to afford to give ds 30 quid like his mates have given to them.

But they have a house....

Many on £15k will be renting and will not have a house at the end of it. A huge mortgage and 5 kids is a lifestyle choice.

It's not a limitless pot and therefore, it makes sense to target those who may well leave education without EMA.

Somehow, I know what the next line will be... :rolleyes:

Paparika

Prudent wrote: »

My daughter has just started college.

I am a single parent family, so have to budget fairly carefully. I earn just over the threshold for an EMA.


She gets a free bus to college and will get travel expenses to her palcement 2 days a week. She buys lunch at college on 3 days and needs a packed luch for placement.

I would like to give her a weekly (or possibly monthly) allowance to cover all her needs including clothing. Her mobile phone bill is paid by her Dad. She also manages to put most of her cosmetics and lots of expensive magazines in his shopping trolley. This is his decision and I don't have any say in it. She also wants weekly music lessons at £13 or £16 a lesson. She wants to take music further.

She has mild learning difficulties which make college a struggle, so I am not pushing her too much on the job front, although it would obviously help a lot.

Just curious to know what most people give youngster of this age.

Thanks

your daughter is learning to be independent, don't wrap her up in cotton wool because she has mild learning difficulties, if she wants to and can a job will help her manage her own finances.

Let her continue to fill dads shopping trolley up if he is happy to do so.. if you can't afford to give her money then you cant afford it

Savvy_Sue

Leaving aside the rights and wrongs of EMA, teenagers working etc etc etc ...

Mine have never had EMA, or free travel in the 6th form, so I have paid a monthly amount into their bank account to cover the bus plus some lunches. DS1 used the bus but nearly always took a packed lunch. DS2 walked (4 miles each way!) and nearly always took a packed lunch. DS3 insisted on having a bike, for which he paid me back out of his bus money, and fails to eat lunch until he gets home. So they've all had the chance to save some money and have chosen different ways of doing so.

I've bought most clothes for them, and all shoes, but nothing 'fancy' - if they want t-shirts with slogans they get them themselves. And they're not exactly demanding on that front ... I certainly buy toiletries for them, (who knows whether they would use any if I didn't!) but if they wanted anything 'special' they would have to get it themselves.

I did their phone topups in 6th form, max £10 per month, usually less often.

BUT their laundry became their responsibility, as did getting money from the bank into their wallet. I knew otherwise I would get requests for bus money late on a Sunday night, which wouldn't suit me at all. And they've learned not just how to do their own laundry, but WHEN to do it.

DS1 and DS2 both had paper rounds but that was too much like hard work for DS3. He has, however, just started at the same cinema his brothers work(ed) at. That I CAN recommend as a job for students - at least at this small one, they can do their homework when it's not busy! :rotfl: I doubt that would happen at the large chains, however.

As for paying to help around the house, I don't pay for washing up, but I do pay for cutting the grass. It's a job DH and I both hate, and it's not one I can even manage without feeling wrecked afterwards. So if there's a job I consider 'above and beyond' then I'll pay for it. But not everything.

And certainly that does communicate the necessity of doing a good job, meeting deadlines etc ...

Lokolo

Parents told up their kids phones at 17!?!?! Really!?

When I was in sixth I got paid EMA (first year only) and had 2 jobs. My mum paid me £20 a week in petrol to get me to school and back, but sometimes she would forget..... which wouldn't matter though. She paid for driving lessons, car tax and MOTs. I paid for insurance.

I also got some lunch money from grandparents which was £15 a week

I thought I was well lucky. Plus I loved having 2 jobs. Monies monies monies.

bestpud

Re housework: dd and I share the washing up - alternate days - she does three a week and I do four.

She has done her own laundry since she was about 14 (could have een earlier) but that was her choice then, as her dad dyed a few items of her clothing and she stopped trusting him to do it.

Now, she just does it out of habit, I guess.

She keeps her own room tidy and is expected to pick up after herself around the house. I ask her to do odd jobs every now and again and she does so without pay.

I do pay her for babysitting though...

I'm in two minds about paying for household jobs though, and did it with my older two when they were younger - I really can't decide if it's a good thing or not! :think:

scotsgirl_3

Whilst I appreciate the situation is a little different for op's daughter, in general I think it is a good think for students to work when they are old enough. I came from a rotten family, so I started working alongside school when I was 15, I worked about 20 hours a week through high school, (and got straight a grades) and am now going into my final year of a full time degree, having worked full time throughout. I really feel sorry for a lot of my students who graduate and really struggle with the realities of a full time job and managing their finances, and I think the earlier this is learned, the better. I also think many students exaggerate how hard it is to work and study, although there are some degrees eg. those which involve placements, which are hard to fit work around.

I don't think kids should have to work as much as I have/did - I had to pay for everything including schoolbooks - but those I know who worked part-time seem to be the ones who have found real life easiest to adjust to, and generally it helps with getting a job after study too.

OP, I do think if at all possible it might be good for your daughter to get a small job, but if not I would opt for giving her as much financial independence as possible so that she learns how to budget a little.

minerva_windsong

When I was 17 I was earning £90 a week working in the local supermarket. That paid for me to buy drinks and snacks at college (if I wanted them - normally I took a packed lunch and a bottle of water), my phone (PAYG), going out (which I didn't do much of due to living 45 minutes away from the nearest town), clothes, books, DVDs, music, make up and anything else I wanted or needed. The vast majority of it went into savings in the end.

My parents paid for my bus pass to college and bought me my first ten driving lessons as a birthday present. Any more came out of my own pocket. I didn't have my own car as I didn't see the point in it.

It depends what you're paying for in addition to the allowance I think. If she has to pay for her driving and music lessons herself then I think £50 a week is plenty, if she's not then more like £20 or £25 a week.