How much to give a 17 year old?

Prudent

My daughter has just started college.

I am a single parent family, so have to budget fairly carefully. I earn just over the threshold for an EMA.


She gets a free bus to college and will get travel expenses to her palcement 2 days a week. She buys lunch at college on 3 days and needs a packed luch for placement.

I would like to give her a weekly (or possibly monthly) allowance to cover all her needs including clothing. Her mobile phone bill is paid by her Dad. She also manages to put most of her cosmetics and lots of expensive magazines in his shopping trolley. This is his decision and I don't have any say in it. She also wants weekly music lessons at £13 or £16 a lesson. She wants to take music further.

She has mild learning difficulties which make college a struggle, so I am not pushing her too much on the job front, although it would obviously help a lot.

Just curious to know what most people give youngster of this age.

Thanks

viktory

Personally - nothing but the basics. But then, I would expect my child to be working part time. However, you have reasons for not pushing that, which is fair enough. So the next question is...how much can you afford? There is no point leaving yourself skint.

How serious is she about music? Can she take it further or is it going to be an expensive (for you) hobby? I think in this instance I would tell her that I was going to give her (for example) £100 a month - but she has to pay for her own music lessons and that also has to cover lunch at college.

Surfbabe

I gave my DD half the child benefit each week so £20. She didn;t qualify for EMA and had a small part time job but that only earned her £20 a week.

Chell

Could she not take a packed lunch to college and keep the money she/you save by doing this?

bestpud

Does she receive EMA, or another allowance for being at college?

I'm sure she should be...

I don't give dd(17) anything.

She receives EMA during term time.

She buys her own clothes, make up and tops up her own phone out of that. She takes a packed lunch as she begrudges parting with cash for food! Or, if she buys lunch, she makes it cheap as possible. She walks to college too as the two buses she'd need to get would cost her a fortune and she'd rather spend her cash on other things.

If she wants more, she can work for it.

I think your dd is already doing ok in having all these things bought for her tbh.

I see no reason for you to be hard up so she can eat lunch out and generally lead a good life by conning both parents into paying for it!

A reality check won't hurt her.

anonymousie

Prudent wrote: »

My daughter has just started college.

I am a single parent family, so have to budget fairly carefully. I earn just over the threshold for an EMA.


She gets a free bus to college and will get travel expenses to her palcement 2 days a week. She buys lunch at college on 3 days and needs a packed luch for placement.

I would like to give her a weekly (or possibly monthly) allowance to cover all her needs including clothing. Her mobile phone bill is paid by her Dad. She also manages to put most of her cosmetics and lots of expensive magazines in his shopping trolley. This is his decision and I don't have any say in it. She alsowants weekly music lessons at £13 or £16 a lesson. She wants to take music further.

She has mild learning difficulties which make college a struggle, so I am not pushing her too much on the job front, although it would obviously help a lot.

Just curious to know what most people give youngster of this age.

Thanks

I dunno about learning difficulties, she'd learned how to "work " her dad! Well done:rotfl:

My eldest is just 16 and embarking on A levels (plus a lot of music commitments/lessons that we pay for) but I kind of see it as her "job" to study/practice etc and am willing to fund a modest lifestyle based on this (as long as she is committed to study etc. If your daughter finds college hard, but is doing her best, I think you are absolutely right to lessen the financial pressures.

What I think about intermittently is spending a month paying out exactly as I do, but noting everything down that I buy for her (excluding food/household bills etc) then you could maybe give her that amount, and she could have the list of what it was used for in the past month to work from IYSWIM.

"disposeable income" wise DD gets a tiny amount of "pocket money" direct into her account- about £5 and she gets a bursary for her singing (intended to cover parental costs eg travel but actually she has a bus/train pass for school so the added cost is small, so we let her keep the money). Actually, because it all goes into the bank, she rarely thinks about taking any and spending it, though she willsometimes to top up what I'm happy to pay for shoes etc (I put in the "basic amount" for non branded stuff and she tops up)

Kit603

I'm nineteen now, so though i'd give you my take from a youngster's perspective

I never got an allowance/pocket money but at 17, I got £30 a week EMA because my family has a very low income and £401 a month from a part-time job that I carried out around my studies. I had to pay for my own cosmetics and toiletries, clothes, driving lessons, travel expenses, mobile phone bill, school supplies, food if I bought it from college and socialising (cinema, bowling etc). Once I turned 18, I also paid £20 a week board even though I was still studying (which I undersand because we were very skint, but was a bit unfair because mum got child benefit etc)

I was quite lucky in that I managed to get a job around my studies, where I worked 18 hours a week at £4.60 an hour:

Saturday: 10am - 4pm
Sunday: 10am - 4pm
Thursday: 5pm - 8pm
Friday: 5pm - 8pm

Obviously, its difficult for a 17 year old to get such a job and I probably wouldn't go back and recommend it around studies but I wanted to save as much as possible for uni because I knew my mum wouldn't be able to help out with my expenses.

I do notice that my friends who got given that amount of money ended up just wasting it, they didn't put it towards driving lessons, university saving or anything useful ... mainly just clothes and stuff.

I'd say that if you're going to give money to you daughter then it should be so much for spending, so much for something worthwhile like driving lessons, university or the music lessons she'd like.

janninew

I must admit I have a slight problem with EMA. I work in a large secondary school, so have quite alot of experience dealing with it. Around 50% of our 6th formers get EMA, but I do feel sorry for the ones that aren't entitled to it. Back at the beginning of the year I had a 17 year boy in my office asking about EMA, it turned out he wasn't entitled due to his parents large income, but they weren't willing to help him out with money at all. I know most parents would give their kids money, but I've come across a couple more students who are struggling for money as they are not entitled and their parents don't give them money either. Not really sure what the answer is!

Prudent

Thank you everyone. Some really helpful and balanced answers here.

I did forget to add in my original post that she is also getting driving lessons paid for. These were a 17th Birthday present from her dad.

I have decided to pay for the music lessons every week as she is serious about music as a career.

I am also going to give her £20 a week in exchange for agreed housework. If the housework isn't done, the payment will be reduced. I work long hours and find the housework a struggle. I had been thinking of taking on a cleaner for a few hours a week, so this will even out cost wise.

tightrs

janninew wrote: »

I must admit I have a slight problem with EMA. I work in a large secondary school, so have quite alot of experience dealing with it. Around 50% of our 6th formers get EMA, but I do feel sorry for the ones that aren't entitled to it. Back at the beginning of the year I had a 17 year boy in my office asking about EMA, it turned out he wasn't entitled due to his parents large income, but they weren't willing to help him out with money at all. I know most parents would give their kids money, but I've come across a couple more students who are struggling for money as they are not entitled and their parents don't give them money either. Not really sure what the answer is!

i believe either all should get EMA or no one. why should parents feel obliged to give kids money to keep up with their mates who get EMA and sit on their backsides instead of getting part time work.
the ones i know on £30 a week have no intention of getting jobs

BitterAndTwisted

Am I alone in thinking that £30 a week pocket-money/EMA is rather a lot of disposable income?

Back in the Dark-Ages when I was in my late teens and studying I got nothing, zero, zilch, naff-all, not even a bus-fare from my parents. I made my money from working: at a Saturday job and babysitting. Unfortunately for me, my mother even negotiated my babysitting rate so I got rather a lot less than I could have.