How much to give a 17 year old?

Oldernotwiser

tightrs wrote: »

i believe either all should get EMA or no one. why should parents feel obliged to give kids money to keep up with their mates who get EMA and sit on their backsides instead of getting part time work.

Why should parents on a good income support their children in full time education? I'll go away and think about that one....:rolleyes:

sunnyflower

Oldernotwiser wrote: »

Why should parents on a good income support their children in full time education? I'll go away and think about that one....:rolleyes:

Why can't a 16 year old get itself a part-time job and get some pocket money and experience of the real world??

boopydoo

I think we should get back to the question the OP asked and stop the debate on EMA. Start another thread if you want but don't hijack this one!

I think your idea about giving money in exchange for housework is a better one. You could also speak to her dad and see if he can't make arrangements with you to pay a certain amount to you DD as well.

I know you say that she had mild learning difficulties but a job would help her confidence so much. My friend had a son with quite bad learning difficulties and he started working and has become so much more confident and outgoing and less frustrated. He works in a supermarket but I know Starbucks have a great record for helping those with learning difficulties and they are very patient with their staff. Could be worth inquiring

jackieb

I've had to give my 16yo son over £60 this week, just for travel and lunches. He's been trying to get a part-time job but hasn't been lucky enough to land one yet. I can't afford to give him any more for extras. We don't get CTC or EMA either. I have to give him about £10 month to top up his phone. He doesn't use it much, but it's handy because he's out of town.
He had a paper round for 3 years but the shop stopped deliveries. But he never needed spending money from me when he was doing that. A paper round isn't feasable anymore though, as he has to take a bus at 6.30am to get to college, and doesn't get home until after 5pm.

gregg1

sunnyflower wrote: »

Why can't a 16 year old get itself a part-time job and get some pocket money and experience of the real world??

Maybe because in the real world part-time jobs are like gold dust?

Oldernotwiser

sunnyflower wrote: »

Why can't a 16 year old get itself a part-time job and get some pocket money and experience of the real world??

Of course; that as well.

Oldernotwiser

boopydoo wrote: »

I think we should get back to the question the OP asked and stop the debate on EMA. Start another thread if you want but don't hijack this one!

I think your idea about giving money in exchange for housework is a better one. You could also speak to her dad and see if he can't make arrangements with you to pay a certain amount to you DD as well.

I think it's a bad idea; if the OP's working long hours her daughter should be helping in the house anyway, not because she's paid.

At the moment she's getting free driving lessons, free music lessons, her mobile phone paid, with cosmetics and magazines bought for her. I'm afraid that I think this is already excessive, without paying her to do things in the house that she should be doing anyway!

Lunar_Eclipse

Oldernotwiser wrote: »

At the moment she's getting free driving lessons, free music lessons, her mobile phone paid, with cosmetics and magazines bought for her. I'm afraid that I think this is already excessive, without paying her to do things in the house that she should be doing anyway!

In the interests of offering balance, I see nothing wrong with a child receiving free driving and music lessons. Quite the contrary, I have no idea why one would not provide them if they could (along with magazines and cosmetics). They are both very worthy skills to develop and it is admirable for parents to develop their child's interests and go beyond offering the basics of food and shelter IMO.

Surely we all do what we believe to be the best for our children with what we have available to do so. I am quite sure there is no damage to be done by paying for such worthwhile activities, whereas I'm not sure the same would be said of parents who have the financial means but for whatever reason, choose not to. However, I know it is all about balance and responsible parents need to draw the line somewhere, so opinions will differ as to where that line is.

I also think there is evidence that supports both sides of the argument regarding payment for household chores, so it's not just a matter of something "she should be doing," generally speaking. As parents we can do damage either way.:D

silvercar

Lunar_Eclipse wrote: »

In the interests of offering balance, I see nothing wrong with a child receiving free driving and music lessons. Quite the contrary, I have no idea why one would not provide them if they could (along with magazines and cosmetics). They are both very worthy skills to develop and it is admirable for parents to develop their child's interests and go beyond offering the basics of food and shelter IMO.

Surely we all do what we believe to be the best for our children with what we have available to do so. I am quite sure there is no damage to be done by paying for such worthwhile activities, whereas I'm not sure the same would be said of parents who have the financial means but for whatever reason, choose not to. However, I know it is all about balance and responsible parents need to draw the line somewhere, so opinions will differ as to where that line is.

I also think there is evidence that supports both sides of the argument regarding payment for household chores, so it's not just a matter of something "she should be doing," generally speaking. As parents we can do damage either way.:D

Well said!:T

arlybarly

bestpud wrote: »

Erm, can I let you onto a secret?

It is not because you both work; it is because your income is over £30k per year.

DD received full EMA when me and my ex were both working.

Moan about it if you like (lots do) but at least get your facts straight first! :rolleyes:

Yes i do realise this im not that thick !!!!!!! It should not go on the parents income but ALLLL kids should get the same ammount regardless, some people have massive mortgages and 5 kids and earn 31000 a year but not have any more disposable income than someone on 15ooo a year whose kid gets EMA. Yes i am one of the lucky ones that i have paid off my mortgage last week and earn a liveable wage, but i might not be in this position and might not be able to afford to give ds 30 quid like his mates have given to them.