Am I being unreasonable?

babe_ruth_3

thanks alexjohnsom for your reply it has certainly given me something to think about. I was wondering if I should e-mail son and tell him to read replies for himself. What do you think?

freebie_junkie

crossleydd42 wrote:

Why do we still persist, uniquely, in the UK, with the notion of 'going away' to uni instead of going to the nearest one? Admittedly, some uni's do specialise to the extent that they are centres of excellence, (and the nearest is sometimes not within a day's travel), but this applies in exceptional circumstances.
Many of the problems flagged up here would not occur if this were the case.

surely not all parents want their kids living at home all teh time till theyre 23 and id personally have throttled my mum if i didnt have my own place! i do go to a uni nearby my flat though, it would be daft to move elsewhere when council flats are hard to come by and my life is here

freebie_junkie

miaxmia wrote:

Whilst my daughter was at Uni, although she lived at home, we supported her by keeping her car running and paying for the petrol, obviously she lived at home for free and we also gave her a contribution towards clothes and paid for any Uni books.

in my opinion thats really odd, sorry but i cant imagine why youd give her so much money for luxuries (car and clothes) when shes an adult and both works and gets a loan (i know its less but what did she have to pay for essentials-wise?!) i hope now that she has movbed out she knows the value of money and isnt in debt because you didnt do anything to teach her. I dont even like it when college kids get given bus fare and dinner money when they have jobs, i wasnt pampered like this and it served me well turning me into the money saver i am today!

Skyhigh

I only have a student loan, income assessed at £4200 per year.

Tuition fees: £1175
Housing Fees, including bills, private landlord: £2350

Leaves £675.
Plus I work over summer and earn a few grand.
And as my course demands too much time to hold down a regular part time job, I use ebay to earn a fair chunk of cash too as I can do it anytime I have a free bit of time.

So thats at least £3000 to 'live' off if required.

I think the non-income assessed loan is capped at about £2700 or £3000?
So I can only guess, if theres a shortfall of £1200, that his tuition fee's and housing are a bit high?
(Although if he's paying the new fee's, theres another loan you can apply for in addition to the standard one apparently).


£80-£100 a WEEK is a huge amount of money for a student.
I spend about £15 a week on shopping - food wise.

Sure students have to go out...but not all the time and not when you can't afford it.


The most 'student money' really goes on going out, as I said before, if you cant afford it then you can't do it.
Also mobile phones, I'm amazed how much people fork out for these, especially contracts - again if you can't afford it....


The peopel he knows at uni might have rich parents or only one child.
I know plenty of people who's parents pay their accomdation, tuition, buy them a car, car insurance and give them a good £100-£200 a week to spend.
Unfortunately some of us aren't so lucky....ok most of us.

The other option is that people are blowing their loans, overdrafts and credit limits.
I know a certain person who blew his first loan installment on the SAME DAY on clothes and...well...crap.
I also know plenty of people who cannot manage their own finance and therefore have worked themselves into ALOT of debt.

Again, I also know alot of people who are leashed by their parents.
Their parents control everything, as they pay their tuition and housing and give them X amount a week but will not let their children take out a student loan.
Really, this is the worst thing to do, as they never become financially responsible and may end up relying on their parents for the rest of their lives, or completely screw everything up when they get into the Real World.

:!:

miaxmia

freebie_junkie wrote:

in my opinion thats really odd, sorry but i cant imagine why youd give her so much money for luxuries (car and clothes) when shes an adult and both works and gets a loan (i know its less but what did she have to pay for essentials-wise?!) i hope now that she has movbed out she knows the value of money and isnt in debt because you didnt do anything to teach her. I dont even like it when college kids get given bus fare and dinner money when they have jobs, i wasnt pampered like this and it served me well turning me into the money saver i am today!

Car was an essential - she needed it to get to University and University placements, which were up to 40 miles away (public transport impossible from where we live). Clothes - I didn't say how much we gave her for clothes - it wasn't very much. Yes, she did work and she did have a loan. She used her money for food whilst at Uni, clothes, a little bit of socialising, a holiday, mobile phone (yep, I reckon essential for a girl travelling on her own all over the county), Christmas and birthday presents and saved enough for a buffer for her last six months, so that she didn't have to work in the build up to her final exams. Whilst we purchased her books, she also purchased many stationery items to enhance her course presentations and dissertation. And No, she wasn't out drinking most evenings - in fact, many a night she was sat at the computer from the time she arrived home until the early hours of the morning working very hard (I am surprised her boyfriend stuck it out). Yes, she does no the value of money because we taught her that from an early age, which is why she was able to save a decent deposit for a mortgage, and I am very sorry you don't appear to have been supported in your education in the same way. And NO she isn't in debt, she is a very good organiser and that is in respect of money too!

jem16

crossleydd42 wrote:

Why do we still persist, uniquely, in the UK, with the notion of 'going away' to uni instead of going to the nearest one? Admittedly, some uni's do specialise to the extent that they are centres of excellence, (and the nearest is sometimes not within a day's travel), but this applies in exceptional circumstances.
Many of the problems flagged up here would not occur if this were the case.

It's not really a UK thing "going away" to uni. In Scotland the majority of students stay at home and go to their local university, My son is just finishing his 4 yr degree course and has no student loan. He will have to pay a graduate endowment of £2000 as this is in place of fees for Scottish students.

He did have a job at Sainsbury's for 3 evenings a week in his first 3 years but hasn't worked this session and is using the money saved from his summer placement. He uses this money for his social life or for anything he wants personally. I pay for his travel and uni expenses but they don't amount to that much - less than £500 p.a.

I'm sure he would like a place of his own but all his friends stay at home too so it's not a big issue. It means that he can start working life with no debt.

freebie_junkie

miaxmia wrote:

I am very sorry you don't appear to have been supported in your education in the same way.

please dont patronise me just because i dont live with my mummy and daddy and feed out of their pockets, i would hate that- it would be stifling and uncomfortable, to take money from your parents at such an age! imagine!

littlejaffa

Had to say, I went away to college, then to uni and supported myself by working, getting a student loan and being v frugal, I had a car and went out at least 4 nights a week.
I firmly beleive there is no need for parents to support atall, (unless they earn so much they effect the grant their kids get).

I saw alot of people around me who had the same loan etc and even with parent support they couldn't cope. If you want it badly enough it can be done, it's not what you've got but what you do with it!

I also think it doesn't help students who think 'scrounging' of their parents is wrong and want to diy, or parents who think it's 'shamefull' if others don't support their children etc - especially with this being exam time for many, getting a degrees hard enough without negatives to anyone who does it differently from you.

Savvy_Sue

littlejaffa wrote:

I firmly beleive there is no need for parents to support atall, (unless they earn so much they effect the grant their kids get).

Even then, there may not be a 'need' to support the student - DS1 has worked part-time during 6th form (without affecting his grades, it seems!) and was perfectly able to pay his own fees without our help. Since we would have found it a real struggle to pay them for him, I'm glad he didn't press for it. He lives here rent-free during holidays, he gets a lift to and from Uni at the beginning and end of each term, and if he ever does have financial problems, he knows he can ask. He appears to be managing perfectly capably on his loan, he has friends and as much social life as he wants - probably not as much as many, but we're all different! He reckons it does help that his social life does not revolve around the consumption of large quantities of alcohol!

DS2 appears to be going the same way just from paper rounds - he's not in the 6th form yet but already has more in savings than we do!

DS3 on the other hand ...

jackashton1

i dunno how long his holidays are, but im off from the 5th of june to the 9th of october, surely he could get a full time job then...