HeavyHeart, EmptyPurse

pollypig

VegasKitty wrote:

sorry to everybody on this thread, I will of course immediately change my thinking & submitt to your opinion (clearly the only opinion allowed on this forum)

go ahead love, spend away! thats right, if it makes you feel better, you've earned it after all, don't worry, if you bury your head in the sand long enough I'm sure it will all go away. here, spend some more why don't you, it makes you feel better. don't worry about the sleepless nights, the stress, the destroyed relationships, you carry on spending love, it will all come right in the end, it always does & absolutely nobody ever got anything from saving and being told they were wrong. its not your fault, its everyone elses.


Is that better?

Life is all about accepting your responsibilities & the choices you make. I don't think anyone has the right to complain about choices they personally make. No one, no one made her spend all that money.

Are you actually reading the replies Vegas or making your own mind up? Because nobody is saying that she should carry on spending, nobody is saying she should bury her head in the sand. What we are doing is trying to offer advice/support so she can clear her debt - she hasn't asked for any sympathy on here, just advice. To go back to your comment of "I bet she didn't fee suicidal when spending the money" - how is that helpful to anyone? Who are you to judge how someone is feeling/whether those feelings are legitimate.
I am fairly new to this site, and though I may not post very often, I do read lots of the threads every day and in doing so see many many conflicting opinions every day... just never said so vindictively/uncaring. So please don't say that you have to have a certain opinion to post on this site. Just realise that comments such as yours are not helpful, and this forum is, ultimately about helping people and helping them to firstly face up to their problems (surely posting on here is the first step to that?) and then how to solve the problem. I don't normally get so worked up about the threads on here, but HH's story IS heartbreaking, no matter whose fault it is.

nocashkate

I agree with you, no-one did make her spend it.

But now what?

Come on Vegaskitty..she's accepted responsibility.......now what???

What would you advise to a very depressed women? (apart from to accept responsibility?)

I am dying to hear this......

r.mac_2

heavy heart

I couldn't believe your post. I honestly don't know what i can say to comfort you - apart from that i send you a hug and all the best wishes in the world.

Please, please, please take a copy of your contract re: P_I_L flat to a solicitor and find out what you could do. make sure you let them know of your financial trouble - it may lead to mitigating circumstances which would allow you to sell the flat. Most solicitors will offer you 1/2 hour free legal advice - enough to get an idea if they can help you or not.

Also have you tried the CAB? they are often a good source of help and info.

keep at the legal angle, I think that you may have a case.

best of luck x

VegasKitty

lynz (sorry for mis-typing yourname earlier) the point is, if I did ever find my self in this situation, I would not be looking to blame anyone but myself for it.

but then, you wouldn't find me in this situation because I do take responsiblity for my actions and therefore have precautions in place to make sure nothing like this could ever happen to me. For a start I think I would notice long before I hit £140K that I need to cut back.

Is the hardest thing in the world to stop yourself from spending to cheer yourself up, because you're bored or because you feel like you've 'earned a treat'. I know, I have to do it every day. It would be the easiest thing to throw my hands up & say 'sod it!' & start blowing money on stupid purchases. but I understand that its only me who will suffer at the end of the day if I have that attitude & chose to live by it.

nicola1982_2

Ok whatever your opinion of whether the OP should be blamed, please can we use this thread to offer resolution? HH is in serious trouble and unfortunately the CCCS won't help because of this home her partner's parents live in.

HH can I ask - is it essential for you to keep a good credit rating? Because there is always the option of just refusing to repay their mortgage. You may be in the situation where you could declare bankruptcy, but this would mean losing both homes..

Have you spoken to Citizen's Advice Bureau?

VegasKitty

argh! you guys type waaay too fast for me!

nocashkate (having to scroll up to check peoples names isn't helping any either!) I don't see that she is accepting responsibilty. This is because still she places the blame at the banks for offering to lend her the money!!

Sheesh! I have thousands & thousands of pounds of credit available to me, as do many, many people in this country, but do we all choose to run out & spend it????

Stupidspender_2

nocashkate.
do you know that obtaining credit with no reasonable means to repay it is a criminal offence?
At a APR of say an average of 5% on the 140K (taking into consideration zero APR offers ect) the annual interest would be £7000, the min payment at 2% of balance would be £2800 per month.
If the family does not have this amount of cash at hand each moth after taking out the mortgage/council tax/utilities/insurance then its quite simple there is no point in fighting the credit that way.

A voluntary arrangement may need to be made by contacting the card provider direct of through the CA
To start repaying the debt HOPEFULLY AT A FROZEN INTEREST don’t fall into the trap of trying to just payoff £100 per month ect. Make a real effort to change everything about the way you spend and set the V.A as high as you can afford to put you back with a feeling of control.
So lets say it will take forever , yes sure it will , but at least you can sleep at night.
The new you! IT CAN BE DONE!

January_Embers

VegasKitty wrote:

lynz (sorry for mis-typing yourname earlier) the point is, if I did ever find my self in this situation, I would not be looking to blame anyone but myself for it.

but then, you wouldn't find me in this situation because I do take responsiblity for my actions and therefore have precautions in place to make sure nothing like this could ever happen to me.

So you are prepared for every little thing that could pop-up / go wrong? I can no longer work due to disability. I am 33, I sure as hell wasn't prepared for that!
Yes, you do have to take responsibility for your own action but sometimes debt is unavoidable if you have no other means of living.

lynzpower

Vegaskitty,

Much of this spending ( but by no means all of it) as she has said has been paying out for two mortgages, and thousands of it were to do with a legal action to evict the parents. Some of it was sheer living expenses, some of it was using one source of debt to service another, sometihng Ive done before, I know im not the only one. All this information is here for all to see in this thread.

Is heavyheart back to defend herself through this barrage? If not, I suggest we all leave this topic well alone as all this backbiting is really rather unproductive.

nocashkate

She is now considering selling her house and renting, this is taking responsibility in my eyes.

Of course people overspend and get in debt but the point here is that the economy is strong because of debt and the banks are richer because of it too.

You think responsibilty is so important dont you? Well banks also need to be responsible for what they offer people.