Daughter having panic attacks about UNI

johnswife

She was retaking her English GCSE at college and was working to an A, had comments like her writing and understanding was exceptional but because she could not bring herself to do the oral exam was told she would not get a C pass. So she did not take the exam.

She was also doing Phycology (sp) and again was doing A work and again had comments on an essay that it was the best she had ever seen for GCSE.
She never sat the exam.

Her confidence just hits rock bottom and nothing anyone can say can lift her.

The doctor rang and she is seeing him tomorrow, so fingers crossed.

Thanks for all the suggestions.

edinburgher

The doctor rang and she is seeing him tomorrow, so fingers crossed.

Those do sound very extreme examples - may be more than just a social phobia, hopefully the doctor will give you further (professional) insight. Best of luck to your daughter.

bestpud

Oh gosh, I really feel for her!

I hope the GP appt went well.

I suggest she make contact with her personal tutor asap, as it will be easier if they know her and any problems crop up. If she really doesn't get on with them, tell her she can request another; she doesn't have to struggle on with one she doesn't get on with.

Other than that, she will probably find she isn't bothered too much by lecturers as it's not like college and they tend to leave any contributions up to students.

Personally, I find the library easier to cope with when it is quiet, as I have had more than one panic attack in there and it's awful when there are people everywhere.

If she really cannot attend a lecture/seminar then she needs to contact the tutor asap, and it is then that knowing her personal tutor well may help.

Also, I find it easier to sit by the door, as I always feel much worse if I can't 'escape'.

We tend to do a lot of small group discussions, which is then fed back to the bigger group, and that is easier for quieter students as there is always at least one person happy to feed back in my experience, and it is easier to talk in a group of three or four.

She won't be alone in not wanting to contribute though, as already said.

Some of the younger students on my course only came out of their shell in their third year, and a couple surprised me because they'd looked all along as though it was going over the top of their head, but when they did speak, they made some very good points.

My only other suggestion is to contact the student counselling service, as they are used to dealing with study issues as well as general mental health difficulties. I wouldn't have got as far as I have without the one I see, that is for sure.

Definitely look into a mentoring scheme too, if they have one.

I hope that helps a bit, but in the end, I guess she just has to go for it and I am sure it helps knowing you support her, even if it feels like you can do nothing.

Kit603

I'm not sure how relevant this is but thought i'd tell you a little bit about myself.

I've suffered with clinical depression for quite a few years and was eventually prescribed antidepressants when I was doing my first yr in sixth form. My biggest problems were that I found it hard to socialise with people - I have very low self-esteem and very little confidence, and that I tended to worry about things where I didn't need to worry so much.

The antidepressants didn't get rid of it all, but they did stop my panic attacks and allowed me to think rationally about things. The thoughts were all still there, but I found that I didn't cry so much and could "tell" when I was overreacting about things - I can't really think of a better way to put it.

By the second year of sixth form, I was feeling much better about myself but was still very nervous and still suffered from low confidence and self-esteem and what really helped me was getting a job as a sales assistant at Comet. It was very hard for the first couple of months but by the time I left I could have an hour long chat with a complete stranger about any of the electrical products in store, and had no issues approaching people!

I went to Nottingham university to start my degree last year, but dropped out just before my final exams for a few different reasons.

1.) I was too nervous to move into my own accomodation - I panicked about everything from being burgled, not getting on with flatmates, to being raped and murdered. In the end, I moved in with my BF and commuted, which lead onto the next problem...

2.) Early starts, late finishes

Even though I could drive to university in about 35 minutes, I wasn't permitted to use my car and instead had to drive to Hucknall tram station (20 minutes), wait for a tram, travel to city centre (25 minutes), wait for bus and then get a bus to campus (10 - 20 mins depending on traffic). The changes between transport actually meant that I spent an hour and a half travelling each way!!

If my lectures started at 9am, i'd have to leave my place as early as 6.45am and if my lectures finished at 5pm then i'd often not be home until 7.30pm! This was quite difficult for me.

Then, the next problem...

3.) Socialisation

Being off-campus meant that I spent several hours each day between lectures in the library, the shops or the computer suites because it was too far for me to go home. But, because I didn't get to stay around and meet people at the pubs/clubs/society events I didn't really have friends to hang out with - I spent most of the time alone.

and...

4.) Group projects

EVERY module I did involved a group project which required us to meet up outside of class once a week for as much as a whole semester... this often required me to make extra weekend journeys, and weekday journeys to meet up - very tiring!

I really do regret not making more of an effort to at least try living on my own for a while so that I could immerse myself in university life because I do feel like i've missed out. So, I think it is important for your daughter to give it a go - hypocritcal or what? Lol. However, for education purposes i'm still doing my degree through the local college.

johnswife

Hi, A bit of an update.

Kit603, you sound just like my daughter.

We went to the doctor and she is on Antdepressants which help with panic attacks. They do have side effects until the body gets used to them which can be worse than the panic attacks but I am hoping she will persevere.

We took her up Saturday and got there about 2pm, she got given her keys and shown around by the caretaker, These particular halls are where all the Art foundation students go as they start their course earlier. She is is Block B but on Saturday any students that arrived were all going to Block A,

We went to Tesco to buy a few things and stock up on food etc and went back. Her dad set up broadband on her laptop and she was also able to get all the tv channels on her laptop. The flat is for 7, there are two showers and two toilets. The kitchen is large with 2 cookers, 2 fridges and 2 freezers. The all have their own locked food cupboard. The table and chairs are by a large window wich overlooks a canal with swans and ducks, very pretty.

Her bedroom is quite spacious with a wash basin, plenty of storage.

I wasn't sure if she was going to stay but she said yes and we left. We stopped for some food about half way home when she rang in tears asking us to go back. So we went back and she had a panic attack. She had taken a tablet at 6 and by 7 she was shaking, blurred vision, heart beating very fast and she couldn't open her bedroom door.

I think t would have helped if she wasn't totally alone in her block as there is no way she had the confidence to walk to the other block and introduce herself.
Her dad thought we would be repacking it all back in the car but she said no she just wanted to come home and he has just taken her back this afternoon.

it did make me a bit tearful as she had made her room lovely, all the new bedding she had bought was put on, all her toiletries laid out.

I so hope that someone has moved in when she gets there, it might make all the difference. she has to enrol on her course tomorrow at 12.30 so if she can manage to sleep there tonight it would be big hurdle.

She knows that the tablets will take a while to get into her system so all we can do do is wait with fingers crossed.
The fact she has gone back shows she so wants this to work.

Thanks for all the replies and advice.

bestpud

Aw bless her! That brought a tear to my eye! I can't tell you how much I feel for her.

You must be worried sick too.

Fingers crossed she can stick it out and a nice flatmate moves in soon.

However, even if she leaves in the next couple of days, it doesn't mean she can't go back.

Is it worth her contacting someone from student services do you think, to get a bit of support while waiting for the tablets to kick in?

johnswife

bestpud wrote: »

Aw bless her! That brought a tear to my eye! I can't tell you how much I feel for her.

You must be worried sick too.

Fingers crossed she can stick it out and a nice flatmate moves in soon.

However, even if she leaves in the next couple of days, it doesn't mean she can't go back.

Is it worth her contacting someone from student services do you think, to get a bit of support while waiting for the tablets to kick in?

That's the thing she just can't talk to anyone about it but I did say to my OH that we should contact someone to let them know the situation.

just got a text from her saying they have just arrived and there are more people there now so that sounds better. i think i am going to make a cup of tea, i feel too sick to eat at the moment.

DD2 goes to Cheltenham Uni sept 13th, i don't think I will have the same problem with her!!

johnswife

just had a phone call from OH and he said atleast 2 girls were moving in her flat and they were talking. he has now left so is going to find somewhere near to have a coffee and some food until she has had her tablet. fingers crossed!

Lokolo

Good luck!

Is she close to DD2? Can she not stay round for a few days?

johnswife

Do you mean DD2 stay with DD1? They are not allowed overnight visitors and we live a good 2 hours drive away. also DD2 has her boyfriend here who goes back to the army training tomorrow so they are inseperable at the moment.