Any teachers out there

mintymoneysaver

Hi,
I am a teacher but not in Scotland. Can I first of all just say that you are obviously very interested in your son. It's the parents who NEVER ask questions, and never worry that I despair of! The fact that you had a meeting with the school in Feb with a psychologist means that they obviously realise that your son has some sort of difficulties with school work. I would think there was no problem at all with phoning the school up and asking to speak to the Special Needs co ordinator ( I'm assuming you have these in Scotland too) and asking what specifically your son is being offered e.g a buddy, small group classes etc.

Some people on this forum have a very high opinion of their own opinions, and I am amazed at the way they seem to think they know somebody purely from a few sentences. " Putting your pride before your boy" Where's the pride in asking for help? I think your son has a mum who wants to do what's best for him, but doesn't want to appear too pushy. Phone the school, even phone his primary school and ask if they know how the secondary school works ( they'll probably have some sort of link) Your son may well have some difficulties with learning, but as long as you are doing your best for him then that's all you can do.

DVardysShadow

mintymoneysaver wrote: »

Hi,
I am a teacher but not in Scotland. Can I first of all just say that you are obviously very interested in your son. It's the parents who NEVER ask questions, and never worry that I despair of! The fact that you had a meeting with the school in Feb with a psychologist means that they obviously realise that your son has some sort of difficulties with school work. I would think there was no problem at all with phoning the school up and asking to speak to the Special Needs co ordinator ( I'm assuming you have these in Scotland too) and asking what specifically your son is being offered e.g a buddy, small group classes etc.

Some people on this forum have a very high opinion of their own opinions, and I am amazed at the way they seem to think they know somebody purely from a few sentences. " Putting your pride before your boy" Where's the pride in asking for help? I think your son has a mum who wants to do what's best for him, but doesn't want to appear too pushy. Phone the school, even phone his primary school and ask if they know how the secondary school works ( they'll probably have some sort of link) Your son may well have some difficulties with learning, but as long as you are doing your best for him then that's all you can do.

All true, except that this is all focussed on the externals of 'does he do his homework, does he do well at school and does he tidy his room'.

This lad is not having his opinions sought out, to the extent he probably doesn't have any. It is the internals of 'What makes him tick' which are important here, because palinly he does not tick at the moment. To say that is probably too far off piste as to what may be expressed, but the more I read, the more this comes across.

It is a bit rich to say "I am amazed at the way they seem to think they know somebody purely from a few sentences". Presumably the people who you agree with know a lot more about the situation.

Gingham_Ribbon

Jackie, you sound like a worried, loving mum who's scared that his fresh start at a new school isn't going as well as you want for him. Please don't be put off by people assuming your posts are the sum of who you are. Obviously they aren't. You're posting about your worries - why should you mention the millions of other things that are going on in both your lives?

I love the idea of the maths game on the net. However, I'd say that I'd just let him get on with it at a level he's comfortable with and in time he'll be confident enough to move on to the next level without prompting. If you're with him sometimes when he's doing it, you can help and praise and that will encourage him to try harder.

This might seem like a random suggestion but if you do nothing else, this would be the one thing I'd pick over everything else - get hold of a copy of 'How to talk so kids will listen and listen so kids will talk.' As a teacher and mother I think this book is fantastic and has taught me so much.

Finally, something this boy has going for him is a loving mum who wants the best for him. That really matters more than maths grades.

woody01

Any teachers out there

Thousands.....they are all having 6 weeks paid leave. :rolleyes:

eira

What did the psychologist/learning support teacher say ? I have found that if children have relatively 'low level' difficulties they get ignored.

If you look for
dyslexia
dyscalculia
dyspraxia
you will find some of the issues and an indication of the spectrum of difficulties

This is what I've found in my work
-children who have difficulties processing spoken instructions eg some kids can follow Maths but struggle in Literacy
-children with dyscalculia are generally ignored. They will have difficulty with times tables and multiplication and division. Addition and subtraction are a bit easier but these can also be4 difficult
-children who are disorganised
-children with gross/fine motor skiils difficulties

These can be very small but enough to cause frustration and loss of self esteem. Once you identify issues you can then work on coping strategies. In my experience until these are looked at any form of tution etc is of limited value unless it's targeted at the4 individual. And most important of all how does the child feel he is achieving/not achieving

Gingham_Ribbon

Great post, eira.

Pee

Are there any PS3 games which use numbers and adding up? Could you speak to his teachers and see what they say? Some people are good at school and some people like your son have made friends and get on well in different ways. Could some old fashioned games like dominoes even help?

mrcow

Hi Jackie

I know you said earlier on that it's a bit early to be taking this up with the school, but I have to say I couldn't disagree more. The school are there to support your son and help in any way they can. if they know that you are on board as a parent then it's good to get in quickly and start things how you mean to go on.

With regards tot he homework club, obviously he's not that keen now, but maybe the school can also help talking about that with him?

The playstation sounds a complete pain tbh. As a parent, you can certainly set down rules. How many hours does he play per night currently? And is it every night? Whatever it is, I'd look to half it. Maybe say that he can play it alternate nights? He needs to be doing more with his time than this.

It must be quite difficult with the age gap that you have with your children as they will be interested in different things. Does he have any other interests other than play his playstation with his mates? Activities like joining the Scouts etc can help with confidence boosting and they do loads of different stuff.

With regards to taking pride in his appearance etc........I wouldn't worry all that much as I gather it's quite common. As soon as his hormones start kicking in, he'll be stinking your house out with men's toiletries and beating you to the bathroom.......:rolleyes:

jackie_w

Thanks everyone for your replies. I have today given him a letter to take into school for his maths teacher who is actually his guidance teacher too, so hopefully I will hear something from her within the next week or so.

With regards to the playstation if he could get away with it, he would be on it all day every day. He has his time limited on it for one hour during the week but at the weekend there isnt any time limit on it.

His dad thinks we should take the play station off him altogether, but, I think thats a bit harsh.

I will definetly call the school if I dont get any response with the letter.

Oh and for one poster in particular - with regards to my son not having any opinions and his opinions not being listened to!!!!!!! ive got no idea how you "think you know this" and how you think is evident from what you are reading!!!!! Im amazed that you seem to think you know how my husband and I treat my son and how you seem to know what my son needs from just reading on here.
You are just being ignored from now on, cos your nothing but a time waster as far as i concerned, and are very jumped up about your opinion as one poster said.

But to every other poster thank you very much.

Gingham_Ribbon

jackie_w wrote: »

His dad thinks we should take the play station off him altogether, but, I think thats a bit harsh.

I do too. It's something that he really enjoys. Taking away something so important to him sets a very negative tone in my opinion - it says that he's being punished for not being clever, not trying hard enough or whatever might go through his mind. And it might also tell him that what he enjoys can be used as a way of controlling him, which can lead to resentment.

Limiting his time on it is sensible though, especially as he's not keeping up with his school work. But I'd let him know that it's about helping him manage his time and not about punishing him.