Any teachers out there

jackie_w

Oldernotwiser wrote: »

Do you think he's unsettled at the possibility of the family moving abroad?

hey there oldernotwiser.

No, my sil and her family moved to Canada just last year, this has been basically ongoing all through primary school (hes now just started high school). No I definetly dont think its that. There is a big part of me that thinks he is just very very lazy, because he is very very lazy, ive never ever met anyone so lazy as him.

jackie

whitewing

I do kind of agree with DVardysShadow. I'm sure it only because you are so worried, but I do wonder where the fun is in this child's life. I am not being nasty here, but I feel quite dispirited in discussing the situation, and I can only begin to imagine - based purely on the posts - how it must be for your son. However, I am well aware as parents when we discuss our biggest worries, we don't mention the other million things that we do love.

whitewing

It does worry me that you keep saying how lazy he is. (Although, I do say that to my own DS sometimes!)

My 12 year old goes through real growth spurts at times, where he has very little energy to actually do too much else outside of school. A lot of energy will be getting used in growing and I think as parents we sometimes forget that.

jackie_w

cheepskate wrote: »

I have had tutors in for my elder child and they work wonders. If you as parents are putting in the time and committment to his work that the tutors are setting and nothing seems to be working then i would seriously be looking for a referral to see if there are any underlying problems.

If not , homework and homework ethics are very difficult for children and as parents its us who have to start and instill them. I have a 9 year old that hates educational learning, who has masses of homework set as he is due to take enterence exams , but homewok gets done in a timely fashion as that is the rules i have. I dont argue or bribe over it, it is just one of the rules .



Maybe you have to approach it from a different angle and only be on his back for importaint things, and start building his self esteem as it seems as if it is lacking in him.

Hi, Ive not got him at tutors anymore because we cant afford it. He went to a tutor for his language for 18 months, and I personally felt that he only improved marginally, BUT thats not the reason he doesn go now, he doesnt go because we cant afford it. it was £25 per week, and there is no way I can afford to pay that.

His self esteem is something that we need to work on, I dont actually know why he doesnt have a high self esteem, because no one in the family says anything bad to him, infact, hes the oldest grandchild/nephew and everyone makes a big fuss of him. I dont know if his friends say anything to him, and he takes them to heart, hes never said anything about that.

Jackie

jackie_w

Oldernotwiser wrote: »

But do you do educational things with him like taking him on visits: are there lots of books in the house (or regular library visits): does he see you and his father reading for pleasure?

There are loads of books in the house, ie books on dinosaurs, history, maps, animals. we have taken him and his brother to the kelvingrove art museum, Glasgow Science centre, etc.

His dad isnt much of a reader although he does read occasionally, Im forever reading, I love reading, and even his wee brother reads he loves books, and he sees me reading to his wee brother as well, but, he never wants to join in, UNLESS, im reading one of those instructions books about a PS3 game, then its a whole different story. He is Playstation daft.

Jackie

whitewing

If he likes online stuff, how about mathletics? My DS does this thro school but you can buy as a parent (£39 for 12 months). You can do maths challenges against students from all over the world. I've had a go and I enjoy it).

You can earn points and print off certificates I think so could be fun. I'm not sure how 'structured' it is in terms of guiding him thro appropriate topics, rather than just sticking with easy stuff. You'd maybe have to let him have a fun half hour and a 'learning' half hour.

jackie_w

DVardysShadow wrote: »

Thanks. Obviously you care for him at least in terms of externals, but I am concerned more about an interest in the things which interest him. Your response here talks volumes.

Most children will want to tell you things and talk about things and if they have a real problem in that area it will be seen by about the age of 6, I imagine. But you are only talking about 'always on at him'. On his behalf, I have to say damn you, you are only interested in your agenda of clean teeth, doing homework and tidying his room, you have nearly killed any spark of interest he has in anything. At risk of making you angry with him, I think he is sticking 2 fingers up at you, for always being wrapped up in your own agenda and not letting him have an agenda of his own interests.

Watch out, I think you have very little time [2 or 3 months?] to fix this, or you are going to have a permanently unhappy and unfulfilled child who will drift as an adult with no concept of what it means to be fulfilled.

Of course we take interest in him, just because I didnt post it on here doesnt mean that we dont take an interest in HIM, if we werent interested in him I wouldnt be on here asking for help and advice, I wouldnt be sitting here at 10.37pm looking through the internet for help for him, so that I can and make things a bit easier for him with his learning. I wouldnt be sitting here worried sick about him crying because I dont take an interest in him.

How dare you come on here and say these things. Your post wasnt very clear, and if your a mum/dad you will know that getting him to do those things is a part of "taking an interest in him".

hieveryone

I'm a primary teacher, and yes, in Scotland, so the National Testing etc is familiar, and those levels are pretty low. Has the school flagged this up to you before I take it?

Is there anything he will happily sit and read? I'm not a fan of 'forcing' kids to read something, but also of the opinion that if they are at least reading something, it's better than nothing. Maybe a book about a certain football player or someone he's interested in? Even starting him reading newspapers, would he read those?

I would definetely let the school know how interested you are in trying to help him achieve more, if only so that they don't let him 'slip' into the lower groups if you see what I mean. You do sound like you are trying all you can though, so don't be too hard on yourself.

jackie_w

Thanks very much everyone for your replies.

I came onto this board asking for help with my son because of his schooling. Im very sorry that for a certain poster that I didnt post my life story in what I did with my son, what I praise him about.

I know ive said about him being lazy, but im trying to let you all know what he is like incase that might be one of the problems to let you see what he is like with regards to schooling. Im sorry that I didnt let you all know what he was like as a wee boy.

I feel really bad now in that i might not have done my best as a mother and have been left feeling really upset. I know it is the case that these things might happen whenever you post on a public forum but you can post things in a more pleasant manner.

I will never ever again come onto this board and ask for anyones advice or help.

whitewing

Apparently 'graphic novels' are very popular with boys and can get them interested in reading, althou I don't know much about them myself:

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Comics-Graphic-Novels-Books/b?ie=UTF8&node=274081