Any teachers out there

jackie_w

Hello.

I apologise in advance if this is the wrong place to post this.

My 12 year old son has just started high school (we are in Scotland), and he really struggles with his education.
Im at my wits end with it. We have had him to tutors, bought books from WH Smiths, got extra homework from school and still he doesnt seem to get better.

Today he has had maths homework and french homework. TBH I wasnt bothering too much about the french but, we did practise it. It didnt go too well because I cant remember french from school, so I wasnt very good at pronouncing the words. The maths homework was simple arithmetic, adding, and subtracting, and he really struggled with it. It took him 3 hours to do one A5 sheet of maths homework.

I just dont know what to do or where to turn to. He takes no interest in school at all, and ive tried everything, from rewarding him, to taking away his PS3.

Is there any thing I can do to help him. I know he has to try harder himself, but Im really really worried about him, and dont know what to do.

Any help would be gratefully appreciated.


Jackie xx

whitewing

I'm not a teacher. Could you try getting him to do homework in the morning before school (not on the day itself). Keep the after-school as chillout time? I know this may not work long term but it sounds like the pressure is getting to you all.

jackie_w

Hi There,

The homework he had to do today had to be handed in tomorrow. Im kind of hesitant to get him to do the homework in the morning because he is really slow in the morning and it takes him all his time to get up, in a shower, get breakfast and get out the door for 8.30 and this is me getting him up at 6.45.

He has always been a lazy boy, he takes no pride in himself at all or any of his things.

Im rally worried about this, ive always been worried about his school work. It was noticed in nursery that he wasnt at the same level as the other kids. When he was in primary school he did get extra help and im sure he will get it at high school too, but, I dont know when he will get this. There are homework clubs on at lunch times, but he doesnt want to go to these as his friends dont go, so he would be the only one. I really dont know what to do.
He only started high school last week, so im reluctant to call the school already and see if there is anything the can do or are doing for him.

Jackie

DVardysShadow

jackie_w wrote: »

He has always been a lazy boy, he takes no pride in himself at all or any of his things.

So who takes an interest in him and his things? Sorry, it is a terribly pointed question, but I think you need to take a look there before his issues can be sorted.

jackie_w

Well me and his dad take an interest in him (obviously) if this is what your meaning. We are the ones thats always on at him to tidy his room, shower himself, clean his teeth, make sure he isnt putting on dirty clothes because if im honest he wouldnt do any of these things if we didnt tell him to .

is that what you mean?

hieveryone

I'm a teacher and I'd say that taking 3 hours to do what sounds like a simple maths homework task is worrying, by S1 he should have at least Level D in Maths, which includes much more than adding and subtracting!

can you dig out any old report cards that show what level he is working on at Maths? That would give us an indiciation of what he is capable of.

whitewing

jackie_w wrote: »

Well me and his dad take an interest in him (obviously) if this is what your meaning. We are the ones thats always on at him to tidy his room, shower himself, clean his teeth, make sure he isnt putting on dirty clothes because if im honest he wouldnt do any of these things if we didnt tell him to .

My 12 year old son is exactly the same. It's a boy-thing.

Is he an only child? It does sound a little that your valid concerns about his education are overshadowing the unique personality of your DS? What's he good at?

jackie_w

Hes working towards level D in his maths, but I think he just passed to get levels A, B & C. He got level C in Primary 7.

Im at my wits end, and my husband and I have both been talking about what we can do, but, I think we have tried everything we can. I was on the school website tonight and it has stated about the lunch time homework groups, so I have told him that he will definetly be going to them until such times as he has "picked up the pace".

Sometimes I dont know if he just cant be bother to "think". Earlier this year, he was getting his maths homework wrong, and it was multiplication and division, and he was getting his times tables wrong, so, we took the play station off him, and got him to write out all the times tables up to 10, and he had to learn them. The every night for one week, we would ask him random questions about the times tables, and after a couple of days or so, he got them right, so we gave him his play station back. So Im not sure if he doesn actually struggle or if it is again laziness.

Im worried sick, and I keep going on at him, and I know thats not the answer either.

hieveryone

Jackie,

You sound like you are trying hard to help him, which sounds fantastic, but what are the school doing? Level C in primary 7 in fairly late on to be achieving that, what levels is he on for other subjects like reading/language?

I would definetely be enquiring about what the school are doing to further him, and whether they have any extra support in place that he can attend.

jackie_w

whitewing wrote: »

My 12 year old son is exactly the same. It's a boy-thing.

Is he an only child? It does sound a little that your valid concerns about his education are overshadowing the unique personality of your DS? What's he good at?

I have another son, who is 4. TBH, he isnt good at anything at school, he struggles with everything. I know that isnt a positive way for me to think, but its, true. Now before anyone jumps up and down shouting at me I never ever tell him that im NOT proud of him, I always tell him that hes done well, but he just needs a little bit of help and that theres nothing wrong with that, but this lat year, ive kind of started going on to him a bit saying that he should be doing better because he is starting high school.

One thing i will say that we originally did think that he struggled because he has had problems with glue ear, and still does to this day and gets regular hearing checks, he has had in total about 6 operations for grommets to be inserted, but its not sorting the problem. Hes not deaf, he can hear but sometimes his hearing is "down", but the schools know baout this, and he is always placed at the front of the class. I dont think the "hearing" is holding him back now, but sometimes I dont think it helps because if he cant hear the teacher, I think he just shuts off. maybe he doesnt, maybe he is just lazy.

jackie

cheepskate_2

jackie_w wrote: »

Hello.

We have had him to tutors,


Jackie xx

I have had tutors in for my elder child and they work wonders. If you as parents are putting in the time and committment to his work that the tutors are setting and nothing seems to be working then i would seriously be looking for a referral to see if there are any underlying problems.

If not , homework and homework ethics are very difficult for children and as parents its us who have to start and instill them. I have a 9 year old that hates educational learning, who has masses of homework set as he is due to take enterence exams , but homewok gets done in a timely fashion as that is the rules i have. I dont argue or bribe over it, it is just one of the rules .


dvardy QUOTE: So who takes an interest in him and his things? Sorry, it is a terribly pointed question, but I think you need to take a look there before his issues can be sorted.

o.p QUOTE We are the ones thats always on at him to tidy his room, shower himself, clean his teeth, make sure he isnt putting on dirty clothes because if im honest he wouldnt do any of these things if we didnt tell him to.

Maybe you have to approach it from a different angle and only be on his back for importaint things, and start building his self esteem as it seems as if it is lacking in him.