The ultimate incentive proposed! Buying a house, a wedding, and staying debt free.

wendz86

I agree don't give in and give them the money, your OH is being totally unreasonable as are they. I think the e-mail sounds good. Hope it all gets sorted.

wendz86

Dinah can't believe you can't get married there because you live together, never heard anything so rediculous. I can't really help with church stuff I am afraid. Can you search online?

zigmeister

Dinah93 wrote: »

Wanting a summer or winter skirt? If summer go with the lighter spotty material for the main with the navy band, if a winter one go with navy with the lighter spotty band as a highlight.

I agree about the skirt. But if it was me I'd probably go with the plain navy as the main skirt, and the band spotty. Then you could show it or hide it by tucking in your top.

Dinah that's unbelievable! Hopefully the pastor will say it's all ok. Sorry I can't help with church stuff!

CMD I think the email is great. Your OH is being really unsupportive I think, but I can see how he doesn't want to rock the boat what with being in a band with them. But I think you should send the email

I have so much cleaning to do today, and uni work.

Tete_en_l'Air

Dinah, firstly skirt - I'm thinking something that can be both so probably will go for the dark option with the highlighted band. Practically no difference between summer and winter these days anyway.

Church - I'm often staggered by the hypocrisy of organised religion which is why I don't subscribe. Personally I'd be tempted to walk out of this church. You and NIM sound as though you've become real active members of this congregation and shared all your marriage plans with them, presumably putting your donation on their plate every Sunday as well, and then they say you can't hold the most important day of your life in their building because of something that they've known about all along! If they're that bothered about your lining arrangements why do they let you go there in the first place? Grr.

If you really do want that church though and are prepared to put up with that, can you not tell a little white lie? How do they know where NIM is living? Do you have a friend whose address he can use to say he's living there?

Dinah93

We're going to speak to the pastor today, if it is as we fear, then we will leave, as it just seems hypocritical, especially since we spoke to both pastors about it very early on in us being there. If they have an issue with us now then they should have told us. Its just hard as its the first place we've been where we've really felt something spiritually.

Have been on last minute.coms website. 4 nights in vegas in the top 'celebrity spa' suite in the MGM grand between Christmas and New Years for £620, then £220 per person for flights. So, thats my wedding sorted then!

clearmydebts

OH is on board now. This is the email I sent in the end. Have decided they are defo not getting the money as it was always my intention that the money given would cover that extra rent. We all had this discussion on Tueday night and they agreed to the £1000 so they can't come to us the next day with something else.


Hi .......,

Hope work is going well.

OH said that you and ........ mentioned about the extra rent last night (from the 22nd Oct to the 5th Nov). To be honest, when I sent you the email last week and said that we would give you £1000 from the 22nd of October to the 22nd February I thought I that by us giving £1000 there would be a clear slate with regards rent.

I’m sorry if it wasn’t made clear, but as we didn't mention this at any time I thought it was an unspoken agreement. On the flip side I also thought it was an unspoken agreement that as we were leaving 5 days early (and had paid up the 22nd) we wouldn’t be asking for any rent back.

I personally think it is a more than fair agreement but let me know if you are not happy with it.

Sorry Dinah I am taking up your thread but everyone is so supportive here. Am glad OH agrees with me now

clearmydebts

Dinah93 wrote: »

We're going to speak to the pastor today, if it is as we fear, then we will leave, as it just seems hypocritical, especially since we spoke to both pastors about it very early on in us being there. If they have an issue with us now then they should have told us. Its just hard as its the first place we've been where we've really felt something spiritually.

Have been on last minute.coms website. 4 nights in vegas in the top 'celebrity spa' suite in the MGM grand between Christmas and New Years for £620, then £220 per person for flights. So, thats my wedding sorted then!

Sounds fab, I always fancied Vegas! Hey maybe you could renew your vows in the chapel of love. LOL!

Tete_en_l'Air

clearmydebts wrote: »

Sorry Dinah I am taking up your thread but everyone is so supportive here. Am glad OH agrees with me now

Well he'd have us to answer to if he wasn't, with our torches and pitchforks!

Sounds like a really good email, they can't argue with that surely.

Dinah I really feel for you, it's such a shame. I say give the Vs to christianity and have pagan ceremony in the woods somewhere all barefoot and wlidflowers

Dinah93

Don't think NIM is keen on the idea of Vegas, he thinks I would regret it. I don't think I would to be honest!

Sadly Tete we don't believe it's a Christian thing, if this is the case then its this church, not all Christianity. So we'd leave the church but still want to be married in the eyes of God.

Don't worry about hijacking the thread CMD, everyone is here to chat and give support.

clearmydebts

Dinah93 wrote: »

Don't think NIM is keen on the idea of Vegas, he thinks I would regret it. I don't think I would to be honest!

Sadly Tete we don't believe it's a Christian thing, if this is the case then its this church, not all Christianity. So we'd leave the church but still want to be married in the eyes of God.

Don't worry about hijacking the thread CMD, everyone is here to chat and give support.

Thanks Dinah,

Just seen your post about not being able to get married cos you are living together. I can't believe it! Surely the church must hold no weddings then as 90% of people live together before they get wed.

Are you very upset about it?