Weekly Flylady Thread 24th August 2009

hex2

juliejim wrote: »

Hex - have you got a Home Bargains near you because they had them in.

Thanks JulieJim, tried the Coalville one the other day and they just had very small sandwich boxes on the Transformers and no Thomas stuff at all.

juliejim

Off to the dentist shortly. DD says that she isn't having her teeth checked - she hasn't had them checked since they tried to give her a filling about 2 years ago - won't even sit on the chair now - she was alright before. DS will have his checked fine.

I've cleaned the oven and hob so that's another thing off the list. May try and finish it when I get in later.

atrebor

I am all done, and i have improved on Hugh FW - the brownies are delicious!!!! all thats left is 2 hours of work when the kids are in bed:(

pigpen

ellen.. Imigran.. you can get it over the counter.. but you can also get it from the GP.. that with tylex/kapake work on my mothers and I would put every penny I own on her having them worse than anyone else I have ever known!

Triker.. re the cupboard.. DS1 said thank you but they don't have room.

Elly.. you have my deepest sympathy.. it isn't easy with the children on your own but TBH it sounds like she is being a total selfish brat.. I know 'society' likes to blame the parents but not a jot of this is your fault.. would she rather you stayed in a relationship where both her parents were miserable and made them all miserable? Has she actually considered anything along those lines.. I know what it is like to have the stealing and drinking and it isn't nice, it creates a vile atmosphere and resentment. I can say after sending DS1 to live at my mothers life became so much more bearable in here... and even more bearable once XH left too lol.. My 8 year old steals everything too and sometimes I could slap her senseless.. theere is no need she just does.

In a few years you will look back on this time and you will both have things you wish you had done or said or not done or said. Can you not speak to the YOT and get some help through them? If she wants the horror story to go with being pregnant at 15 send her here.. we are living it! Social workers threatening to take the baby off her at every turn, foster care, 5 months in an assessment unit 200 miles from home, solicitors etc.. on top of all the usual pregnancy/baby stuff.

big hugs and I trully hope DD finds some peace in her life.

elly2

Thank you for the hugs sorry for another long rambling post which has nothing at all to do with flying..
Triker a neighbour told me, it seems she has been out bragging about possibly being pregnant and she was overheard.
Chickadee she is very angry atm (well she has been for the last few years tbh) there is a 9 yr gap between her and my 3rd DD so she has gone from being the baby for 9yrs to the middle child which she says she hates and somehow thinks that if i didnt have the 2 lo's she would still be the baby of the family and get more attention.
I feel torn yes i know splitting with her dad has caused problems for her(she adores her dad and even moved in with him for a month, but he brought her home one day, dumped her bags on the step and drove away, and contact between them lately is non-existant all i can say is he is a prize to$$er but he is her dad and she is obsessed with him) but i don't know how much more the split can be blamed for her behaviour. I know she wants to be with him, but he refuses to let her so i am her emotional punch bag and at times the lo's become her physical punch bag.
I am ashamed to admit that i did throw her out after she stole the £200 i was seriously afraid of what i would do to her, my sister in law had to finish the phone call when SS told me they would be bringing her home as by this point i was sobbing on the stairs convinced that she would not be safe from me, that was when i hit an all time low i didnt think i could ever feel that way about my own child i still feel so ashamed even now,
Her SW told me that if she came back she would be refered to CAMS but it seems they feel they will be unable to help her so we plod on we hardly comunicate at all i have tried the rewards, the calm chats,the hugs,the compromise,the time alone with her,the punishments,the nagging her to shower(it has been 10 days since her last shower now) short of dragging her upstairs and showering her myself i am running out of options.

Valli

Elly I feel so very very sorry for you - my 15 YO DS has given me grief in the past and can rant and rave and it's all been post-split/divorce but no-where near what you are going through.
(Note to self stop moaning about him)
I do NOT know what to say but Sarahshattered might be a good point of call when she's back, and Pigpen and Triker both seem to have their fingers on the pulses of traumas.
I would go with the 'low self esteem' suggestion and I would also think there's a lots of 'you have ruined my life so...' going on.
But also she has problems BUT those who should be helping won't...and are leaving you to go it alone.
One thing I would suggest is to get her name on the council list then when she is 16 there might well be somewhere for her to go, if only to alleviate the pressure on your little ones. Having her charged for theft from you must have been a hard decision but I am with you on that - otherwise you are not making her take responsibility for her own actions - it's like funding a drug habit IYSWIM. You and her dad split. No-one stopped loving her and lots of people have lots of crappy things happen in life. We don't plan for them, they just happen and they have to be dealt with and overcome. Seems that's one lesson she just doesn't want to learn.
(((hugs)))
ETA I too admire you for not giving up on her because I think I would do what Jinky would, personally, were I in your shoes. And she worships her dad and he dumped her back on your doorstep? Silly girl!

jinky67

elly2 wrote: »

Thank you for the hugs sorry for another long rambling post which has nothing at all to do with flying..
Triker a neighbour told me, it seems she has been out bragging about possibly being pregnant and she was overheard.
Chickadee she is very angry atm (well she has been for the last few years tbh) there is a 9 yr gap between her and my 3rd DD so she has gone from being the baby for 9yrs to the middle child which she says she hates and somehow thinks that if i didnt have the 2 lo's she would still be the baby of the family and get more attention.
I feel torn yes i know splitting with her dad has caused problems for her(she adores her dad and even moved in with him for a month, but he brought her home one day, dumped her bags on the step and drove away, and contact between them lately is non-existant all i can say is he is a prize to$$er but he is her dad and she is obsessed with him) but i don't know how much more the split can be blamed for her behaviour. I know she wants to be with him, but he refuses to let her so i am her emotional punch bag and at times the lo's become her physical punch bag.
I am ashamed to admit that i did throw her out after she stole the £200 i was seriously afraid of what i would do to her, my sister in law had to finish the phone call when SS told me they would be bringing her home as by this point i was sobbing on the stairs convinced that she would not be safe from me, that was when i hit an all time low i didnt think i could ever feel that way about my own child i still feel so ashamed even now,
Her SW told me that if she came back she would be refered to CAMS but it seems they feel they will be unable to help her so we plod on we hardly comunicate at all i have tried the rewards, the calm chats,the hugs,the compromise,the time alone with her,the punishments,the nagging her to shower(it has been 10 days since her last shower now) short of dragging her upstairs and showering her myself i am running out of options.

whatever is going on in her head, it is not fair of her to take it out on the LO's

I would be very tempted to stand her in the garden and hose her down:cool:, sorry being flippant:o

I actually have no decent suggestions

but :grouphug::grouphug:
If my DS was behaving like that I would throw him out and not have him back, but then I am a prize biatch, you are a far stronger person than me:A

ellenandjess

pigpen wrote: »

ellen.. Imigran.. you can get it over the counter.. but you can also get it from the GP.. that with tylex/kapake work on my mothers and I would put every penny I own on her having them worse than anyone else I have ever known!

:beer: Will go to pharmacy in a mo!
I feel sorry for your mum hun even my mild ones can be horrible! Does she have a trigger?

I never had migraines till I had an op to remove my gall bladder and then I suffered a massive one whilst recovering in hospital! I have never been so frightened! I lost total control over my body and couldn't tell anyone what was a matter even though I tried (It was embarassing as I was sat on a commode at the time and had no warning! Luckily I had just buzzed to come off it so was found straight away!) I can only imagine what someone who has had a stroke must feel like!!! Since then I have been on so many medicines and been to a neurologist but nothing seems to work. I thought things were looking up though cos I have had nothing for months. I am pleased that the worst I get now is sicky feeling and like my head will explode.
I just think the STRESS of arguing with my hubby yesterday has done it! Nope I think its the weather too, cos we have just started to have a mega downpour!!!!! Probably gonna have a storm its black! I hope we do cos it may get rid of it if thats the cause!!!!

hollyh

Afternoon all,

Big hugs Elly.

Ellen the only thing to shift my migranes was 1 nurofen +, i think i'm getting immune though as 1 doesn't work any more but 2 make me feel all spaced out and i can't function.:rolleyes:

Since my last post i have

Made & eaten lunch
Washed up
s & S Kitchen
Tidied & hoovered living room
Been blackberry picking with Ds2
Done a 45 min Iron & put it away:j.

kazwookie

Serena~~~ sorry to hear of your loss, pm me is you want someone to rant at, although it has been over a year, since my mum went, it seems like only yesterday, we are all here for you. xxx

Elly~~ I cannot add anything useful to what the others have already said, hugs xxx

Dusty welcome back

penpen nice piggy............

Dusted round
Sorted out car insurance and tax for exOH's car......long story don't ask, why I am doing it, but it is done now and he is paying!