Do I expect too much from children

galvanizersbaby

There was a little boy in my daughter's class when she started in reception last September who was brought to school in a buggy (not sure how far his journey was) - I'm not sure he was teased exactly but I did hear him being referred to as 'buggy boy' by one of his classmates

By the time my 2 started school neither of them would be seen dead near a buggy (even my son who is the laziest boy on the planet ) - we walked about 20 mins as we didn't have a car at the time but I guess they were both used to walking - sometimes we took scooters and I would have to take them in to the office with me for the day as there was nowhere at school to leave them.

Has your DS got a scooter Jellyhead? - that might get you there a bit quicker

jellyhead

He tried a scooter at the park this week and seemed keen - perhaps for christmas? He's got a bike. He's fine walking or cycling to school (downhill) it's just the tired legs afterwards I'm thinking of, although if he's tired perhaps there's no need for gymnastics, and a walk home via the park might be just as beneficial. I like gym class over winter though, for indoor exercise.

My friend will have a baby soon, nice idea bylromarha

jellyhead

We're off to gym now, and I know that if we walk or cycle he'll be too tired to join in the class, because we've already been out today to a farm/playbarn etc. and he's still tired from that. Recently since we've been going to an afternoon playbarn with a friend after nursery he's been too tired for gymnastics.

Everyone else gets to gym by car so although they might look askance at the buggy it's not as if their kids have walked. My pram broke at the beach last week, so there goes my storage for picnics, coats, inflatable crocodiles etc

milliebear00001

My advice re. starting school - knock the after school stuff on the head for a bit. You can always rejoin later. I found my DD (not a summer baby) was knackered after school for the first term or so. We also use a scooter, and it's worth getting them proficient on one of these.

shelley_crow

my son is almost 4.5. He puts all his toys and books away and at the end of the day, he gets changed for bed and puts his dirty clothes into the washing basket. Oh and when he finishes eating/drinking, he takes his plate/cups back into the kitchen. He is good as gold and helps me to put the recycling into the boxes. When he is older, I will probably get him washing up or taking rubbish to the bin.

I don't think it's ever to young to start them helping. I wanted to get my son doing this for two reasons:

1) so that it helps his independence, he can be quite a shy child sometimes but the teacher at school said he is excellent at helping other child at tidy up time

2) so that in the dim and distant future when he moves in with his oh/wife, he knows that cleaning and tidying up after yourself is NOT "women's work". I had a hell of a job training DS's dad when we first moved in together, now I don;t have to ask him to do jobs because he does it himself. He comes from a family where him, his brother and his dad didn't life a finger to help his mom with the housework. Let's just say he had a rude awakening )

It's much easier to train them from early on then to have major battles in the teenage years to get them to do things. Don;t listen to your family OP, you are doing a great job.

lauhen

delain wrote: »

I try to get my now 7 year old daughter to learn about tidying up, but i get vilified by my family who seem to think i should wait on her hand and foot! She has 5 year old twin sisters and they are better at doing their little 'jobs'.:o

I am sick of being painted as some kind of monster because i don't think its out of order for her to take the clothes i washed and folded for her and put them away in her room.

Or to understand that if she wants to go out and play or watch TV downstairs (no TV's in bedrooms) her room should be tidy first.

Does anyone else think that adds up to terrible parenting?

Oh my god, it's not just me then. I try and do the same with my 7 year old daughter, it never works though unless I get very cross with her but then she crys. I asked her not long ago to tidy her room just a few bits and bobs needed putting away, she screamed, yelled, stamped her feet, and then phoned dad to say that mummy was being mean, luckily dad likes it tidy aswell. She gets of the phone and I say tidy your room and she says ok mummy, not sure if she has, I will check after I put my 2 year old son to bed.

Bless him, he puts his shoes away if I ask, he puts things in the bin, but will my daughter, no no no, that's all I get. She hides food wrappers anywhere but the bin, dirty socks under chairs, food she doesn't want to eat thrown behind chairs (this is only sometimes). I could go on, but I would be here forever, I might have to hijack your thread.

jellyhead

If she hides food wrappers, stop letting her have things like that lol! I'm such a meanie.

Eating at the table might help stop food and wrappers going behind chairs. I know someone who complains about crisp wrappers under the sofa, but she keeps letting her kids have crisps on the sofa while watching TV. They don't even listen to her when she yells about the rubbish, they just look past her at the TV.

I'm so mean, if they were mine they'd be getting a TV ban for a while in addition to a 'treats' ban. Difficult if you have more than one child who could be doing it though, I remember as a kid always being punished for what my sister did because she denied everything, so mum punished all 4 of us because she couldn't prove it was my sister.

ailuro2

Our DD has to keep her room tidy, normally the door is closed, so when I look in on her at bed-time I have an idea of whether it needs tidied or not.

IF she doesn't do it during the week, then it's Saturday morning wasted.

We clean it for her, do the rest of the house cleaning, but she lays the table, sometimes does the recycling and wheelie bins, and likes to help out now and again, moreso lately - I think it's seen as a cool thing to be able to do stuff for yourself now she's 10yo.:T

I've not let her near the iron yet, though I ironed from about 7yo:eek:

Our house is pretty 'lived in' but everyone takes their shoes off at the door (more housework for us if they don't)

Savvy_Sue

dementeddame wrote: »

"Ok let's do a switch, you buy,wash and iron clothes also buy,cook food and wash up then tidy and hoover living room,bathroom,my bedroom and kitchen,
and i will tidy your bedroom"

:rotfl: I used to use this one whenever a boy didn't want to go to bed. "That's OK, you stay up and do the jobs I was going to do, and I'll go to bed instead." They would ask what jobs I was going to do, but they never liked the sound of the list! :rotfl:

jellyhead wrote: »

but we all agreed that you just can't use a buggy for a 4 year old.

My solution at this age was to get a bike for me. I used to have to cycle off to work straight after the school run, so DS3 perched on the saddle and held onto the handlebars on the way to and from school. He's still a lazy so and so, although he does now have his own bike!

Savvy_Sue

lauhen wrote: »

Oh my god, it's not just me then. I try and do the same with my 7 year old daughter, it never works though unless I get very cross with her but then she crys. I asked her not long ago to tidy her room just a few bits and bobs needed putting away, she screamed, yelled, stamped her feet, and then phoned dad to say that mummy was being mean, luckily dad likes it tidy aswell. She gets of the phone and I say tidy your room and she says ok mummy, not sure if she has, I will check after I put my 2 year old son to bed.

Bless him, he puts his shoes away if I ask, he puts things in the bin, but will my daughter, no no no, that's all I get. She hides food wrappers anywhere but the bin, dirty socks under chairs, food she doesn't want to eat thrown behind chairs (this is only sometimes). I could go on, but I would be here forever, I might have to hijack your thread.

Again, there's a bit of reverse psychology to be done here.

"OK darling, if you don't want to tidy your room, that's OK, but we won't be doing so and so until you have." Just don't rise to the drama, take absolutely no notice of the shouting, screaming and foot stamping, and do something nice with your son until she has done what's asked.

Mind you, I can say all this: I ask DS3 to do basic things, I don't insist he does them right away, only then he 'forgets', or 'is watching something' or 'is going to bed'. So the next day I switch off the TV and say "NOW" and you would think I had beaten him! Which is impossible 'cos he's a lot bigger than me now! :rotfl: