Do I expect too much from children

delain

I try to get my now 7 year old daughter to learn about tidying up, but i get vilified by my family who seem to think i should wait on her hand and foot! She has 5 year old twin sisters and they are better at doing their little 'jobs'.:o

I am sick of being painted as some kind of monster because i don't think its out of order for her to take the clothes i washed and folded for her and put them away in her room.

Or to understand that if she wants to go out and play or watch TV downstairs (no TV's in bedrooms) her room should be tidy first.

Does anyone else think that adds up to terrible parenting?

kindofagilr

No I think its a great way to raise her, or she will turn into a little spoiled princess

hellies

My dd1 is 4 and tidies up the toys (belonging to herself and dd2 who is 18 months) in the lounge before she goes up to bed, and her own bedroom before she gets into bed. She takes pride in having a tidy bedroom, and appreciates that I like the house to be tidy.

At her pre-school all of the children are expected to participate in 'tidy up' time, and at my parents house all of the grandchildren are expected to tidy up their toys before going home.

I was spoilt by my parents (i never even used to empty my own bath water!!!!!!) and when I moved out at 21 I had no idea how to do anything. I love my parents to bits, and loved living at home, but being so spoilt did me no favours when it came to standing on my own two feet!

It sounds to me like you are doing a good job at teaching them the importance of tidiness and helping aroundd the home. Ignore everyone else!

jellyhead

Not terrible parenting, no - but everyone's different. I am quite strict - my boy has to tidy his room when I say so and put his clothes away immediately, but I know others whose mums take their clothes and put them away for them (even now, he's 13!) and my sister's children take the pile upstairs and dump it on the floor, then it gets kicked over, mixed with dirty washing etc.

My boy is a bit clumsy and disorganised, so although I expected him to do all of his jobs immediately I often had to help him with them, because 'tidy your room' didn't mean much to him - he couldn't see what needed to be done, if that makes sense. He needed help putting clothes onto hangers when he was younger too.

who is 'painting you as a monster' and what was happening at the time? If you interrupted a TV programme or game of snap etc. to send your daughter to put clothes away then others might think you should have waited until it was over. Id another child calls on your daughter then perhaps you could let her out, but then make her tidy her room as soon as she comes in?

The jobs themselves, no I don't think you're a monster. Bringing up children to be lazy and expect mum to baby them all the time is not good for them. My son even has friends who leave crisp packets etc. lying around for their mum to clean up!

xmaslolly76

I totally agree with what you are doing OP my lad of 7 has to put his clothes away in his draw when i have washed and ironed them for him. Only thing he doesnt put away are things that hang up as he cant reach so he leaves those in a nice neat pile on his bed for me to do next time i pass by but he sorts all the clothes out himself. :-)

**confuzzled**

"Why have a dog and bark yourself?" :rotfl:
If the kids can do it, let them;) Makes for an easier life in the long run:D

OP carry on what you're doing and ignore what everyone else thinks. I think it's great and when my time comes to have kids I will be expecting them to do little jobs from as early as possible:D
My sister is a fan of 'tidy up time' and her kids have been doing it since they were about 1yrs old, although she did make it fun for them(they launched soft toys from one end of the room to the other into the toybox!).Plus she a bit more evil than Xmaslolly and has made makeshift poles for their wardrobes so theres no excuse for them not to hang stuff up;)(they're now 5&6 btw!):D

princessamy86

My 2 year old god-daughter picks her own toys up! She knows that books live on the bookshelf, and that when mummy says it's time to tidy up it means putting everything in the boxes. I think it's much better than having a spoiled brat who wants waiting on hand and foot, and you can keep telling yourself what a favour you're doing future partners , my OH has been spoiled and it's a nightmare!

mummy_Jay

My DS is just turned 5, he is expected to put his toys away when he's finished with them, he also dusts for me (when i do the hoovering), sets the table for dinner every night, feeds the rabbit and puts in clothes in the washing machine to wash, he also puts any dirty plates etc he has used in the washing up and helps clean the car (he does the lower half). He's very proud of what he does and like to tell everyone we are a team. Other bits he does when he feels like.

To me children need responsiblity, it helps them grow and learn. It's also best to get them in the habit whilst there young. Getting your 7yr old to tidy up is good parenting.

tiamai_d

I've used the line 'in that case, YOU come tidy their bedroom then because I refuse to do it for them!' with the in laws.

I try to get my kids to tidy up after themselves, most of the time it's harder work getting them to do it than just doing it myself but my husbands mother did everything for him and it's taken me 10 years to teach him how to work the washing machine so I want to teach them to look after themselves as well as take some pride in their home. It's not the poshest or neatest or cleanest but it's our home and we should be keeping it tidyish

minerva_windsong

My nephew is 2 next month but already knows how to put away his toys. Granted when I say 'put away' I mean 'throw them into his toy box', but every little helps and all that!

I don't think you're being cruel in the least - better you teach them to do this now and send them off into the real world as mature capable adults who can look after themselves when they're 18. I knew an awful lot of people who couldn't cook or work a washing machine or other practical things when I was at university and was so grateful that my mum had nagged me to tidy my room and do my own washing as a teenager!

jenhug

you are teaching your child how to grow into an independant adult, surely thats the best kind of parent there is?

Mine have to help tidy, empty and stack dishwasher, keep rooms tidy, help hoover etc, and they get pocket money, they don't do the jobs they don't get the money. They are 10 and 8. Eldest one is special needs and its more of a struggle to get her to do it than the younger one, but she still has to know how to look after herself.