Being asked to childmind for free

Lyger

This may sound really harsh, but - the woman sounds like a sponge. She'll continue to be a drain on you. Do you really want to keep her as a friend?

Jet

Mojisola wrote: »

I have no doubt that if you do start to assert yourself, refuse to do what she wants all the time and start asking for petrol money, she will find someone else who will let her take advantage of her. Why wait to be dumped by her? Take some time for yourself and find some new friends who will be true friends to you.

Well, if she does, then I'll understand. She has been a good support to me in the past, but I think I have just been too ready to say "yes" thinking that if the boot was on the other foot, she would do the same. She doesn't just phone to ask for things, she does phone for a chat and we have got on well, I just feel that she's pushed things too far and I've let her.

stationaryace

meeps wrote: »

did not mean to offend at all and was not generalising sorry if I could have put it better, my sister herself, expects a lot of help and gets it, both financially and physically, and takes it for granted- she realised a few weeks ago when she had both her kids for a whole week together how hard it actually is, as that doesn't happen often!

if i didn't know any better i'd swear your sister is my SIL :rolleyes:

jellyhead

Jet wrote: »

Well, if she does, then I'll understand. She has been a good support to me in the past, but I think I have just been too ready to say "yes" thinking that if the boot was on the other foot, she would do the same. She doesn't just phone to ask for things, she does phone for a chat and we have got on well, I just feel that she's pushed things too far and I've let her.

She used to getting her own way and having everyone run around after her, putting their hands in their pockets. Chances are this is just a pattern that you two have got into because you're too giving and she's too taking. Maybe you'll remain friends, even after you assert yourself a bit - fingers crossed

You've mentioned the petrol now, maybe the concept of cars not being free will sink in gradually Definitely say you can only go on a day out if she pays for the petrol, or choose somewhere you can all go on the train or bus.

Jet

Well, it seems that my friends teenage daughter's promise of a job hasn't materialised. So now Mum is encouraging her to get a job for a few hours a day only - I think so she can look after her little sister. Friend even said the other day that she "feels sorry for me because I haven't got a teenager to help me out". :rolleyes:

So friend is working full time to give money to teenage daughter who is only going to work a few hours a day and use her for childminding for free when youngest daughter could go to before and after school club and friend would get 80% of it paid through tax credits and teenage daughter could have a proper job and hopefully, some sort of a career.

I think what this is about is that friend doesn't want teenage daughter to better herself and move on with her life because friend relies on her for practical and emotional support.

Jo_F

Jeesh, I can't believe that any parent would do that, surely you put what your child wants/needs before yourself? So she's stopping her daughter from getting on with her life so that she has a built in free babysitter/skivvy? Lovely mothering skills there!

MrCarrot

Meh she is taking you for granted. Just tell her you don't want to commit to doing. if she falls out with you over it, she was not a very good friend in the first place.

Alternatively you could offer to buy her daughter if you wanted another full time.

Bitsy_Beans

Cull and cull quickly. Quite frankly she has no redeeming qualities whatsoever.
And if she asks then be honest, she's greedy, ungrateful leech who doesn't deserve good friends such as you.

geordiebird1970

Dont forget you can get in trouble looking after other peoples kids if you are not registered as a childminder, last i heard it was a £2000 fine if caught

BeenieCat

geordiebird1970 wrote: »

Dont forget you can get in trouble looking after other peoples kids if you are not registered as a childminder, last i heard it was a £2000 fine if caught

What? How can this possibly be true? Do you have a link for this information?