Being asked to childmind for free

jellyhead

I used to have a friend's daughter sometimes if her other childcare arrangements didn't work out (I didn't need her to return the favour because I'd already negotiated unpaid time off on school training days, holidays etc. in my job).

As they got to 10/11ish they didn't really want to 'play' together though, and she'd be in the sitting room with me while my boy would go into his room and shut the door because 'girls are boring'. She'd come to the park with me and my youngest, while he'd stay at home. They used to have things in common but that changed as they got older. They are very different though, so I suppose that wouldn't happen with everyone. Also, my boy likes his own company and wants time to himself.

At 11 I think your boy is old enough to be home alone for the 45 minutes, and he may even enjoy it - mine does. It's not a long period, so even if he forgets to get himself a drink etc. you'll be there soon to remind him.

Jet

galvanizersbaby wrote: »

I think your right Jet - probably hasn't entered her head that she will have to pay for childcare

Stick to your guns - make it clear from the outset

Oh she won't pay for childcare. :eek:

Will just ask someone else to do it for free if I don't.

Zazen999

You could say 'I thought you had sorted something out?'.....and 'If you can't afford the childcare I can help you look at your finances'.....

galvanizersbaby

Jet wrote: »

Oh she won't pay for childcare. :eek:

Will just ask someone else to do it for free if I don't.

In that case let her use someone else - not you!

jellyhead

Jet, if she asks you can you say that your work days are not fixed, so you never know from one week to the next which days you will be at home?

maybe she was embarassed to be caught out in going back on her principles, and the 'sort something out' actually means she'll use the after school club? fingers crossed She'd still need childcare in the holidays though, and nobody takes 12 year olds so is she going to leave her daughter home alone then? unless your son and her daughter have a lot in common I wouldn't want her for full days in the holidays.

John_3:16

Make the first step and say your sorry you can not help. That way you will be on the front foot!

missm29

The woman across the road is like your 'friend', i was always happy to help incase i ever needed help, but in 4 yrs i never have and too be honest i wouldn't be happy leaving my child there due to the type of dog she has. We went through a stage of buying quite a few new dvds, the kids would talk about what they had watched and she would ask to borrow them and run a copy off, in the end i said i'm not a library, she was getting all the new films for free. Shes all take take take, she even had the cheek to ask me to take out a provident loan in my name for her, had only known her less than a year, i've distanced myself from her now, the kids go to different schools, will chat in the street but make excuses if she asks me to watch her little girl.

I'd tell your friend you can't commit to being available each week, or do it and let her down at the last minute, she will soon find childcare else where, don't be reliable.

Any

missm29 wrote: »

she even had the cheek to ask me to take out a provident loan in my name for her, had only known her less than a year,

OMG:eek::eek::eek::eek:

Baileys_Babe

You seem to have adjusted your work to fit in with the changing needs of your family, you need the time your not working for chores etc to keep the week running smoothly and some well deserved time for your self. Don't let this so called friend put presure on you, she needs to sort out her own ways to care for her own children and as you say their are alternatives such as the school club. You may decide to extricate yourself from this relationship or be more assertive.

chipsdog

Can't you say that you are thinking of working more hours as well as her and that you need to sort out your own childminding problems, just say that your Work has asked you and you are working it out if it will be worthwhile, start as you mean to go on.