Being asked to childmind for free

jellyhead

Also, tell her how much you are looking forward to having that extra 40 minutes in the afternoons on your day off, because now it means you can go swimming, or join an aerobics class, a college course, just think of something

beachbeth

I had a "friend" like this at one point and it about drove me mad. She had 4 kids and always seemed to expect other people to help her with them. She had lots of relatives that did but for some reason was always asking me to look after them too. My heart would sink if I answered the phone and it was her because she only ever rang when she wanted me to have one or other of her kids. They weren't very well behaved kids either which made it worse. They would come running up to me after school when I was picking my own kids up and say "can I come to your house to play?" and their mum would also look at me for my answer instead of telling them not to be so cheeky.

In the end I got myself prepared with answers. Because Im not very good at saying no I would have an answer ready for her at all times, ie "Im going shopping when Ive picked them up from school" or "I can't, sorry, my mum needs a lift on Wednesday" etc.

I really don't think you should offer to do anything for this lady because she definitely sounds like if she's given an inch she will take a mile. I would also bet that if she got to the point where you weren't looking after her daughter at all she would probably become an ex friend. Don't feel guilty or obliged to help her out - why should you?

Emmzi

I think you know what you want to do, and are just checking in that you aren't being selfish.

You're not. be confident you are making a reasonable decision. Because you are.

Jet

Emmzi wrote: »

I think you know what you want to do, and are just checking in that you aren't being selfish.

That's exactly what I'm doing.

webitha

hang on a mo....she got an unemployed teenage daughter????

if she asks tell her to get her DD to watch her, as she not doing owt during the day

Jet

webitha wrote: »

hang on a mo....she got an unemployed teenage daughter????

if she asks tell her to get her DD to watch her, as she not doing owt during the day

Well she has the promise of a job in September. But yes, I used to take her LO to school while big daughter lay in bed. :rolleyes: Took me a while to realise. She was at college for a year but the course was only 3 days a week. I suppose friends thinking was that I was going that way anyway so needn't disturb daughter.

ceridwen

Well actually I'm surprised that no-one has made the point that this "friends" 10 year old daughter had to ask "who is going to look after me?":cool: Poor little thing - only 10 and a "young" 10 at that from what you say - and shes having to worry herself about who will look after her....I would be ashamed of myself in your friends position to have my own daughter feeling the need to say something like that. Shes far too young to be worrying herself about who will be responsible for her....and knowing her own mother doesnt seem to be that concerned. Never mind "some mothers do 'ave 'em" - in this case its more like "some CHILDREN do 'ave 'em"...

jellyhead

It's difficult if she is also a friend, and did you say she lives in your street? so if you fall out that might be uncomfortable with other friends in the street perhaps, and maybe this friend is a big part of your social life.

Next time she wants a day trip say yes, but let's go by train because the petrol and parking are too expensive for you, unless she wants to go halves on both.

I saw a poster on the bus yesterday, it might just be a local thing, but a family ticket for the day was only £8 for the whole midlands area. I think it was up to 2 adults and 3 kids, not sure though.

Last time I took a couple of kids to the farm on the bus, 6 miles away but I have to buy a midlands ticket because it's one stop too far, and the path's too dangerous to walk that extra mile, the cost for the 2 older kids was almost as much as my ticket, so I ended up paying £12 for me and 2 kids (and my toddler). This £8 ticket looks fab, especially if you have another adult to share the cost with. I'm trying to persuade a friend to come on a 90 minute bus journey to a fabulous park. I'll do it myself if I can't persuade another adult, but the £8 family ticket is cheaper than a ticket for me and one for my teenager.

Maybe you could point things like this out to her, and make a point of mentioning that it costs you more than £8 to drive to wherever you go for your day out, pay for parking etc.

Money_maker

Very valid posts already on here.

Just to add to others that if you offer to help out now and then, this will be the start of it all. I would suggest you support her by getting some childcare options paperwork like childminder lists for her to peruse whether she will use them or not.
If she asks you outright, say no and that you cant commit yourself to it (who knows what lies around the corner?).

Its outrageous that you should ask to have 2 days a week with your son. This is your life and your time. Time is more precious than money and you should choose to fill it in whatever way you please not run around at someone elses whims. How tempting would it be to tell her to bog off! Probably not a good idea, but when you say no, don't give excuses as you do not need to justify why your time is not yours to choose how to spend it.

Mips

Cheeky cow... let her pay for childcare like the rest of us!!!

Oh, I will babysit, have friends kids over for dinner... no problems every now and then.. but I have a house full of kids already... and nobody takes me for granted.

Ditch the deadwood You will be amazed at how much lighter you will feel..