Please help a new mum - baby will not sleep!

tiamai_d

I've only been doing this a week but it's working. I express in the morning while she feeds from one side and she gets that in a bottle at 11.30pm which means she sleeps till 5am, 30min breast feed and back down till I wake her at 7am.

I figure this way she is getting both fore and hind milk and getting it quicker than a BF. Aim for 1oz per week (4 weesk old 4oz etc).

Need to get the hang of feeding lying down, Amber just keeps popping herself off and yelling at me.

It does get better honestly. I remember that it gets better... well I went and had more so it must do! :rotfl:

skintchick

OOh that's a thought Tia, I could do that maybe.

Lilia pops off a bit lying down too, and I don;t think is latched very well, so I'm back to sitting up. USually it is just one or two night feeds anyway so it's not so bad.

I'm jealous of 11.30 till 5am though! How did you manage that so early?

mookiandco

Hiya skinty.

Leila is 9.5 weeks now and has just started sleeping from 10:00pm to 4am then feed and back down until 7am then feed and then back down until 9am.

Its been trial and error for us but these are some of things we've done:

1) last feed as formula or expressed milk. Didnt make much difference to sleep time but gave me a little break and let OH do the last feed.

2) 4am feed as formula or expressed milk. This was when she was between 2 to 5 weeks old as she seemed to wake up too much if breast fed at the time. I think it was because we were both still getting used to BF and it was still a bit of an effort for her so she woke up. I would then express immediately after she had gone back down to try to keep my supply up and so i'd have some for the next night.

3) from about 5 weeks, we reverted to 4am feed as BF as then it was established and I then found that this seemed to comfort her quicker and get her back to sleep.

4) Sitting on edge of bed to BF her at 4am. I did this because I kept dropping off when feeding her lieing back in bed. She has been in her cot from day 1 and I didnt want her getting used to being in bed with us. However, this was really uncomfortable and although it kept me awake due to the discomfort I had a tendency to want to put her back in her cot before she was really ready. i.e i'd convince myself she had finished feeding when she was really just taking a break. This meant that she would be awake 10 seconds later and I had to pretty much start all over again. This was a vicious circle that had me wanting to cry some nights when I kept putting her down and then having to pick her up again 3 or 4 times. I also think she picked up on how tense it made me because she would feed for ages and be unsettled.

5)Feeding lieing down. I mastered this by about 7 weeks after advice on here. I would quite often fall asleep whilst feeding her and wake up feeling bad because I had no idea how long she had fed for. She would then be asleep all curled up around me with me usually hanging off the edge of the bed because she had shifted right up against me. I would usually leave her there depending on how close to waking up time it was but I would be cross with myself for not having put her back in the cot and I was frightened OH might roll on her because he didnt expect her to be in the bed so I would sleep restlessly.

6) 4am Feed whilst propped up on a wedge cushion: http://cgi.ebay.co.uk/Bed-Wedge-Back-Pain-Pregnancy-Comfort-Leg-Support-NEW_W0QQitemZ350153711425QQcmdZViewItemQQptZUK_Health_Beauty_Mobility_Disability_Medical_ET?hash=item5186c99f41&_trksid=p3286.c0.m14. I nicked this off OH who had it for his relfux. I found that this was an in between solution but I still fell asleep sometimes. However i'd usually wake up alot quicker and be able to transfer Leila to her cot with minimum fuss.

7) The Dummy. We tried this when she was a few days old, again at 2 weeks, then at 4 weeks and then at 6 weeks. She had a strong suck reflex when born and we thought it would help. She seemed to feed constantly in those inital days and weeks and I didnt realise how normal that is so I thought that the dummy would help.as I wondered if she was sucking the breast for comfort. She would not take the dummy at any time. It would go in , she would suck for a few seconds, screw up her face with disgust and spit it out. I wont be bothering to try it again!



I know the above isnt very helpful but its just so you know you are by no means alone and that there is light at the end of the tunnel. xxxxx

ditzy

sorry if this has already been sugested but iv got to log off soon and dont have time to read every post

I have 4 children and when my 4th was born he never slept, screamed all day and all night and basicaly drove me to insanity. After having 3 i thought i knew all the tricks, but nothing worked with no.4
Anyway i soon found out, after a million trips to the gp, he had an ear infection, (that lasted 18 months solid, until he finally had gromits fitted) so A check your baby is not ill in anyway first and B. the miracle that finally made my baby sleep! i bought a tape off the net, I cant remember the excact name but it was like 'white noise' it sounded like a vacume cleaner. Played close to the baby's cot, it was like a dream drug or something! lol im sure if you did a search you would find similar. I cant praise that tape enough, my baby, even when poorly, would fall asleep listening to it and it saved me from almost throwing myself out the window! lol

i just did a very quick search and this looks similar

http://littlesleepyhead.co.uk/

good luck hun :grouphug:

li'l_p

I haven't read all the posts, but just wanted to let you know you are not alone.

I have an 8 week old and we have been through quite a lot in the past 8 weeks. We've had colic which caused major crying spells in the evening, and before we diagnosed this and started on the Infacol I would literally be walking the floor with her, and not flop into bed until about 1.30/2am, which is completely draining and impacts on the rest of your day.

We are formula feeding and baby takes 5oz every 4 hours, and in the evening we feed at two shorter intervals... so the feeds are usually 8am, 12pm, 4pm, 7pm, 10pm, 4am.

I, too, have been worried because we can only settle her in the vibrating/rocking chair she has or in her car seat, and I am concerned about moving her to her cot and getting her settled there. However, I'm not going to beat myself up over it, as my main concern is getting her to sleep and while she is getting good sleep in these 'chairs' then I'd rather that than fight with her and have crying for hours!!!

I'm a first time Mum and I can't say these past weeks have been easy. There is so much advice bandied about from health professionals and well-meaning relatives, but at the end of the day, you do what you find works. Try not to look to ideals like Gina Ford and try to emulate their successes. You do what works best for you and baby, otherwise you will just keep wearing yourself into the floor. I am sick of relatives offering me advice and telling me that I should or shouldn't be doing this - the best one being that I will spoil my baby by picking her up when she cries. Fortunately, babies at this age don't do things to manipulate you, and your picking them up reassures them and builds confidence & trust, it DOES NOT spoil them.

Plus, babies need sleep to be able to sleep. People said to me that the reason the baby wouldn't settle at night is because she has slept too much in the day. This simply isn't true and we have found that when our baby has had good sleep in the day, she is actually far easier to settle at night.

Good luck - you are not alone.

puss_in_boots_4

i really feel for u .. as a mother of 3 i would say take all the advice u can, try them all, all kids r different .... a friend told me and it did work with all 3 of mine and other children i know .... wear a nighty overnight... then the next day put in cot and use as a sheet, i was told my daughter was lonely, which really upset me, but this helped coz she could smell me.. also i put a ticking clock on the floor under the cot .. this stimulates your heart beat ( however it took me a while to get used to he ticking .. lol)

The cherry dummies also worked for my kids, but i found one was really great for my son, it was a dummy from MAM and it moves in and out like a nipple would ... boots have them and toys r us too .... good luck, and just try to sleep when baby does, dont worry about the housework etc ... think about yourself and your baby .. i had postnatal depression with all 3 of mine ... so good luck u have a beautiful baby, and u r a wonderful mum.

Knonie

Sorry if this has already been suggested but see if you can get hold of a book called "the baby whisperer". A friend of mine recommended it to me before I had my dd and it was brilliant... I'd describe it as being between attached parenting and Gina Ford as its writer Tracey Hogg (who is now sadly no longer with us) believed in nuturing a child by using firmness and love. Taking the stance that a child knows nothing other than instinct when its born and its up to its parents to teach it how to live in our world. She teaches things like 'pick up put down' which teaches your baby to sleep and 'dream feeding' which is feeding your baby whilst its asleep - bizarre I know but it worked and my daughter slept from 7 to 7 at 6 weeks with 2 dream feeds!!!!

We're currently ttc no.2 and I have every intention of using this 'bible' again as its advice and that of its sequel has seen us through to our dd being 4!!

skintchick

Well, we are having a much better time now. I'm still Bfing exclusively andit's getting much easier. Lilia is sleeping maybe two hours or so between feeds at night and is much calmer in the day which is fab.

She has hardly any grizzle time now and is totally different. I hope other new mums can be encouraged by this - I'm amazed how different she is now she is five weeks old and I'm sure it will just get better now.

Thanks for all the help and advice. xx

Krystaltips

Really glad things are getting better for you Skinty, in another week it will be even better than it is now! the first 6-8 weeks are definitely the hardest but they do get so much easier.

And well done for sticking with the breastfeeding!

Becles

Pleased you've got it sussed now. Sometimes it just takes a little while to settle into a routine and stuff.