Please help a new mum - baby will not sleep!

feelinggood_2

Skinty, can I ask why you feel you need to stop her sleeping on your chest?

skintchick

feelinggood wrote: »

Skinty, can I ask why you feel you need to stop her sleeping on your chest?

cos everyone including oh thinks i should. he wants her in her cot even though it's me she sleeps on and feeds from. HV says it's ok at the mo but he is worried about it becoming a habit, i just want a quiet life really so would caryy on cos i can sleep ok like that.

galvanizersbaby

skintchick wrote: »

Just quickly - have read all replies but can't respond individually.

Ended up usingthe sling to get her to sleep last night and she slept for six hours!! Meant she didn;t feed for 8 but spoke to HV today and she said it's OK occasionally. She then slept for 4 hours after that feed cos I kept putting her on till she had done 40 mins.

WE did do chest sleeping but I know I need to try and stop that it's just she will sleep an extra 30-60 mins on my chest than she will off it.

Cherry dummies have been ordered of internet but can take 10 working days to come!! :eek: Still waiting for them today after ordering Thursday evening.

I have a Bf pillow as of today (widgey one) so will hopefully find that helps.

Thanks for all your support - it really helps to knwo I'm not alone as OH is beginning to get fed up I think and he fgoes back to work on Weds.

My mum is coming though and HV knows how bad I'm feeling - I am seeing her Friday and on Monday too.

Thanks again
:A

Glad you had a slightly better night - I used to do the chest sleeping with my DD too - just as a temporary thing but it helped us get more sleep

Glad you've got your mum coming when OH goes back to work - it may help you to have someone around and not feel on your own with baby

Have you not got anyone who could pick up some cherry dummies for you so you could get them quicker?

feelinggood_2

skintchick wrote: »

cos everyone including oh thinks i should. he wants her in her cot even though it's me she sleeps on and feeds from. HV says it's ok at the mo but he is worried about it becoming a habit, i just want a quiet life really so would caryy on cos i can sleep ok like that.

What feels right for you?

Toby has slept on my chest when I've been desperate for sleep. This morning I had a nap with him led on me, I just needed that extra sleep.

The way I see it, this tiny little baby has been inside you for a long time, and the world is a scary place. She needs a bit of comfort, and sleeping on/near you gives her that.

I don't think it is likely to make things hard for you in future, she is a little baby who needs her Mum. And you need your sleep.

It took me quite a while to catch up on sleep after the birth. If I did it again, I'd take every, single opportunity to sleep. You'll feel so much better when you catch up, and when you've caught up you can cope with the odd sleepless night so much easier.

If you aren't happy with her sleeping on/near you, then you shouldn't do it, but if it feels right and comfortable, then you need to explain to everyone that it is what you need to do.

(I know personal examples don't carry much weight, but Toby has often slept on me, and always spends the night in my bed or in the cot next to my bed. But he can easily drop off in the car, in the buggy, on the floor - anywhere. It isn't a given that cuddling a baby to sleep means they cannot self-soothe.)

galvanizersbaby

skintchick wrote: »

cos everyone including oh thinks i should. he wants her in her cot even though it's me she sleeps on and feeds from. HV says it's ok at the mo but he is worried about it becoming a habit, i just want a quiet life really so would caryy on cos i can sleep ok like that.

When she get's heavier it starts to get uncomfortable! - don't worry too much at the moment though - if it gets you bit more sleep!

jinky67

skintchick wrote: »

cos everyone including oh thinks i should. he wants her in her cot even though it's me she sleeps on and feeds from. HV says it's ok at the mo but he is worried about it becoming a habit, i just want a quiet life really so would caryy on cos i can sleep ok like that.

If you are as tired as this, sleeping with her on your chest is a good thing if it means you can get some rest too:A

Does your OH understand just how drained you are?

He needs to be understanding as well, I know men tend to find it hard though

Baby arrives and they want their wife back, and things to get back to "normal" but it just doesnt happen

My_Fathers_Daughter

Skinty I haven't managed to read all the posts but wanted to offer my support.

I said to you on the PT when you first had Lilia that BF is bl00dy hard work and when you are sat there in the evening feeding a crabby baby with tears streaming down your face remember that everyone has done it at some point.

At 4 weeks (and for quite a while after) Benjamin was feeding solidly between 6pm and 11pm and I was exhausted. All I wanted was for someone to take the baby off me...even just having him asleep on a pillow on my lap drained me. When I realised that my only job was to make sure my son was fed and felt loved then I calmed down a bit. If he wanted a boob in his mouth all evening then I let him have one


I remember someone telling me that everything changes after 6 weeks and that kept me going....not sure if it did change then but it definitely gets easier


Breastfeeding is a wonderful experience but it is a massive commitment to be there when your baby wants you, even if that is just for a comfort suck.


Benjamin has the odd bottle of formula - mainly so I can build up a store of EBM for when I need to escape but don't be fooled into thinking it will necessarily make baby sleep better. It makes absoltuely no difference for us, Benjamin sleeps the same whether he has formula of EBM.


Did you manage to master feeding laying down? It really will make the world of difference to you if you can.



A few other thoughts:
- do you put her down on a warmed blanket? it can be a bit of a shock to be put down somewhere cold.
- if she wants to sleep on her tummy I would let her personally


And remember, she is only a baby, make the most of the cuddles while you can - Benjamin won't sleep in my arms at all now, he is only 5 months.

Becles

Just another thought about you. Could you get out for a walk for half an hour while OH or your Mam is there?

I've got a dog, so I have to go out every day no matter what the weather! I love the walks on my own, as we live rural so it's a quiet fields and woods area where I walk, and it helps me clear my mind. The walking releases endorphins which will perk you up, but it's not as draining on your body strength as proper exercise would be. The fresh air will do you good too (and sunshine if we get any!).

Pee

Thank you for sharing - and generating some good tips. It's very hard to cope with things when you are tired, it always seems like problems are magnified and impossible, so I really do feel for you, but nice to know that actually, it's pretty much the same for everyone.

skintchick

OH is just drained from looking after me I think. Maybe will be better once he is back at work. He never did cooking before so it's been a shock to him to have to do it all while I look after Lilia.

I do try and get outside, even ifonly to lull her to sleep in her sling!

I'm holding onto the 5 months now MFD - hope she soon likes to sleep alone!!! Only four more months to go...