Please help a new mum - baby will not sleep!

Buttonmoons

DD's choice of dummy was the cherry ones by Tomme Tippee, I've always found these in Asda. Morrisons occasionally have them, depending on the store. They seem to fly off the shelves.

HariboJunkie

Sorry to hear you're having these difficulties Skintchick but there is lots of good advice on here. Unfortunately all the baby books in the world won't prepare you for the hell of sleep deprivation , and I remember it well,

I BF my two and one cluster fed until she was 12 weeks. She was also very colicky and cried when not being walked round on my shoulder every evening while OH was working late shifts. A breastfeeding counsellor relative of mine sent me some research which said that cluster feeding can cause the baby to get too much foremilk which will send her to sleep but not fill her up for long. The answer to this for me was to express a couple of ounces before feeding her from the breast. She was also given gaviscon and I massaged her tummy and eventually she got better.
I know you say she just likes being held but really they all do at that age. For your own sanity you have to get her sleeping off your chest. Try all the ideas of putting her in a warm cot or making the sheet smell like you but you may have to accept that she needs to be right beside you in your bed for a while.

I had to do this and moved into the spare room and slept with one twin on either side so I could roll over and feed whoever happened to be rooting for me.
I also expressed milk very early which enabled OH to do night feeds at least one night a week.

It may just be something you have to ride out I'm afraid. The longest stretch of uninterrupted sleep I had for the first couple of months was 45 minutes (but there were two of them)

I'm sure the dummies will help too but give the expressing a go and see if OH can lend a hand.

As for your other question about when to wake her for a feed.... :eek:. Honestly.... If things are a bad as they seem to be for you now, just let sleeping babies lie.

Hope it all works out soon.


PS... The reason I'm posting at this ungodly hour is becasue one twin woke me with a nightmare an hour ago and while she is safely back in the land of nod, I can't seem to get there. :rolleyes:

weezl74

Hi skinty again,

I had another thought...

If you feel that tummy sleeping would help but are concerned about cot death risks, then something we've found great is to:

a) get a baby monitor that has a built in movement/breathing sensor mat which goes underneath baby while asleep, it gives a loud alarm if your baby makes no tiny movement for 20 seconds. Sounds bad, but has never gone off when Fergus has been lying on it, in nearly 6 months of use, however we regularly test it's effectiveness by picking him up of a morning and forgetting to switch it off! So we know it works well anyhow! Ours is here, and was the best £45 I ever spent!

b) go to a baby 'heart start' course. Ours was run for free by the health visitors and the welsh ambulance service. This for me has added to the peace of mind I get from my baby monitor, because I know I'd know what to do if the alarm ever went off for bad reasons.

Sorry to talk about such sad topics, but if you are very frightened to try tummy sleeping because of risks of cot death, perhaps there are ways you could reduce those risks in your own mind?

Hope you got some sleep last night,;)

Lots of love, Weezl x

jinky67

Another thought from me too

My 2 always liked to lie on my chest as well, but do try not to give in all the time, they get too used to it
Also 4 weeks is young to be in any sort of proper routine, but if you start to follow the same routine at basically the same times every night especially baby will get it eventually.

When you put in her cot at night, just sit beside her and rub her belly or her back and dont pick her up unless you know she IS hungry, you and hubby will have to be strong to stick at this one though especially if she is screaming :cool:

But most of all just try to relax and go with the flow:kisses3: and not take it personally, if the HV said she is putting on weight you are doing just fine

And do try not to make that common mistake of all parents :Dand listen to other people saying " ooooooh my Fliss is sleeping through the night already":rolleyes:

You have a lovely sweet little thing to love and you should enjoy it, it really is fab, even if they drive us nuts at times:rotfl:

xmaslolly76

Skinty Big hugs chick cant really add anything that hasnt already been said but hang in there chick it does get better and you are doing a really good job :-) xx

r.mac_2

hi again - just another thought for you.

One thing I didn't do when LO was still tiny was accept enough help! Lots of people offered, and looking back I wish i'd not tried to do everything myself. Some stopped offering and by the time I 'gave in' and accepted that a few hours sleep was really needed, it was much harder to find a willing volounteer to help me out Not sure about your support network, but would you have someone sit/walk/rock/play with baby for an hour or two while you take a nap? I find that I can't settle if baby is in the house and I'm not with her - so my mum sometimes takes her for a walk so I can power nap.

DH and I also tried to give each other a break - instead of taking each feed in turn we tried doing every two feeds then switching as that meant we got a longer uninterrupted sleep. Obviously BF makes this harder. But little things can help - like DH getting up to get baby, making sure you have a cuppa/drink etc.

Anyway, best of luck.

an1179

I would add to all the great advice above, talk to your health visitor, my 1st DD was everything your baby is and more but my health visitor was a real help.

We even had a baby scales lent to me so I could weigh baby before and after a feed to see how much milk she was getting.

I does get better, it took quite some time with my DD, so I have great sympathy with you.

My DD is 16 now and even more of a nightmare I can tell you:eek: more sleepless nights

miamoo

I haven't read the whole thread, I just wanted to say congratulations on your baby x
I breastfed my DS and I gave him a bottle of formula milk as his last feed before bed, he slept alot better through the night then, breast fed babies seem to wake up more regularly.
Hope baby settles soon.

galvanizersbaby

skintchick wrote: »

She is a very sucky baby so the dummies might help. She is also very clingy and cry-y!! I always said I wanted 3 children but now cannot imagine doing this again - I really am pretty much hating every minute right now I don;t want to be a dairy tanker any more

Skinty - I won't add any further advice to your thread as you have lots already!

Just wanted to say your doing a great job and it won't be like this forever - it will get better.

My DD was similar - remember it well - give the cherry dummies a go - worth a try!

skintchick

Just quickly - have read all replies but can't respond individually.

Ended up usingthe sling to get her to sleep last night and she slept for six hours!! Meant she didn;t feed for 8 but spoke to HV today and she said it's OK occasionally. She then slept for 4 hours after that feed cos I kept putting her on till she had done 40 mins.

WE did do chest sleeping but I know I need to try and stop that it's just she will sleep an extra 30-60 mins on my chest than she will off it.

Cherry dummies have been ordered of internet but can take 10 working days to come!! :eek: Still waiting for them today after ordering Thursday evening.

I have a Bf pillow as of today (widgey one) so will hopefully find that helps.

Thanks for all your support - it really helps to knwo I'm not alone as OH is beginning to get fed up I think and he fgoes back to work on Weds.

My mum is coming though and HV knows how bad I'm feeling - I am seeing her Friday and on Monday too.

Thanks again
:A