Please help a new mum - baby will not sleep!

cazscoob

skinty erin does this some nights but as long as your getting a sleep and she is happy then dont worry! im glad your friend was great and helped out! also bringing food makes her an even better friend lol!
i agree with putting her in her pram and taking her out for a walk, just getting out of the house for a short while canmake such a big difference for both of you!

buxtonrabbitgreen

skintchick wrote: »

Well, my friend was great! She arrived with a gift, magazines an food, tehn did the washing up, made me cups of tea and was generally brilliant which was lovely, She stayed for hours cos Lilia actually did sleep.

I have a new problem now! Feeding lying down at night means I fall asleep before she is done and wake up an hour later ot find she is still awake and just comfort sucking, then wants anothe feed to go to sleep, but I fall asleep, etc., etc.

Think I will have to go back to sitting up for night feeds as otherwise I am feeding all night long and she isn;t really sleeping, plus she is learnign bad habits of using me as a dummy all night. Grrrr, I really wanted an easier way to do night feeds.

I have 5 kids and my last was like yours. I co slept and she just helped herself all night. It might not be whet the experts advise. But you have to get some sleep.
She was the only one of mine who had a dummy. I was dead against them till the first night I was home from hospital. I soon changed my tune then.
Don't worry they do get to sleep all night eventaully. Though it was quite a long time with that one.
I have a photo of her at about 1 standing in her cot, with 2 dummies in her mouth, one in each hand and several more scattered around the cot, just in case. It makes me laugh now she is a teenager who is happy to sleep till afternoon.

Tigerlilley1980

Hi there Skintchick! My advice is to let her cry for awhile when she gets upset. It won't do her any harm at all, maybe leave her about 5 minutes then go to her. She cries because she wants attention and of course she gets it when you pick her up so she will cry more. I know it sounds awful but it does work. As for the crying then wanting fed to soothe her, I really would try a dummy, they do help. So long as you think she is getting enough milk then it will be fine. I really would speak to your health visitor aswell, as they might be able to suggest other ways to help.

Good luck honey, and it does get better. Let us know hoe you get on! xxx

skintandsad

Have only just seen your thread, and I so sympathise with you.

My daughter was born premature, which presented problems with breast feeding; so I had to express and bottle feed.

After two months of having her home, feeding every hour, and only a tiny bit each feed which took FOREVER, and only dribs and drabs of sleep, I finally gave into a dummy.

I tried a few different types, and she finally took to a teeny weeny one - oh the bliss!!!

She started sleeping through the night IMMEDIATELY, and her feeds were much bigger when she woke.

She has slept through the night ever since :T

I would try and get her into her own bed if it were me; but thats just my opinion.

I wish you good luck !!!

s&s xxx

pandora205

I've only just seen this thread too and it takes me back to mine - and I did go on to have three! A few observations and points (as a mum and psychologist)

• All new born babies like to be held. It is natural as they've spent nine months tightly swaddled in a warm womb, so their reaction is to cry to get this feeling again. They don't like being on their own although wrapping them tightly does sometimes give the feeling of being held. I used a sling a lot - it's amazing what you can do with one. The rest of the time I had a car seat on a work surface (or where ever) near me and chatted away as I did stuff.
• Babies can be trained to sleep alone although they will often cry at first. They will not come to harm if this happens though many mums are programmed not to let them cry. I couldn't let mine cry and they rarely did, as we got very good at interpreting their noises and gestures.
• Breast fed babies feed little and often by nature. Breast milk is easily digested and babies prefer to have it topped up very regularly, often once an hour or more. Mine hated bottles and formula milk and were breast fed until 18 months+, exhausting though it was at times. Again, if you persevere with formula your baby would eventually accept it but it won't be first choice.
• Sucking becomes associated with comfort, warmth and mum, so can become rewarding in itself. Some babies take to dummies if they are introduced. I resisted introducing them but was aware that I was becoming one at times!
• Bed-sharing and feeding lying down are solutions some reach - I was one of them. This worked wonders: we all slept, but got tricky when numbers two and three arrived! (At some stage we had to go through the tearful stage when we reclaimed our bed and sit it out feeling like heartless parents).
• An interesting piece of info from research into newborns is that they go to sleep when they have too much stimulation not when it is quiet and dark as most people expect. Sleep is a shutting down response, hence vaccuum cleaner, loud music and car travel can work wonders!

Having young babies is exhausting, and new parents are often full of ideas about what they should do, though like others on here, we reached our own solutions through trial and error.

It sounds like you are doing a great job. Give yourself time to enjoy your baby, to play and be close. Share the chores that can and leave the rest!

skintchick

Well I tried the orthodontic dummies and the cherry dummies and she really isn;t keen on them at all - she prefers a finger. I don;t know how to make her take one or if there is a different sort we can try - she isn;t keen and theydon't stay in.

I spoke to my HV who said that feeding all night is not a good idea as she will get used to uisng me as a dummy so I have gone back to siting up for night feeds. I'm hoping the hourly feeds are because she is thirsty in teh hot weather or a growth spurt.

My thrush has gone now so the pain is perhaps from having been using the cream unnecessarily as it is quite strong, and from her being a lazy feeder maybe - she said my latch is great but my nipple is flattened when she comes off so perhaps she is not so good?

ANyway, she is much more settled at the moment altough the nights are worse, but perhaps we are on teh road to it getting better.

Still loving all teh tips though as they are very helpful. I have to say though that I am NEVER doing this again. I used to want three kids but I'm sticking at one now cos I can't go through this again. I'ts too awful.

feelinggood_2

Skinty - is your nipple wedge shaped when it comes out? Is it white? I think the best thing would be to talk to someone qualified in breastfeeding support. The La Leche League helpline is amazing, they really know thier stuff. I'd give them a call. I was having problems with flattened nipples due to problems LO had, and I was given advice on how to solve the problem.

It is hard, and I think you've got some choices to make. There seem to be two ways of going about things - getting LO to sleep in her own bed, not nursing too often etc, or going the other way and co-sleeping, being used as a dummy. I went the second way - LO is almost always near me, and feeds very often. I find that with co-sleeping I'm not that tired, and LO rarely cries.

Some babies won't take a dummy, but if you are keen, you can keep trying - some get it eventually. With some babies (not all) this can cause problems with latching though. My LO isn't able to swap between a nipple and a dummy or a bottle.

Frequent nursing is very common. From what I've read and heard, things usually get much easier after 6-8 weeks. The magic point for us was 9.5 weeks - LO had got the knack of breastfeeding, and I'd got the knack of sleeping.

JBD

Hi Skintchick, nice to hear from you again. Sorry to hear the dummies didn't work with your daughter. Just a couple more suggestions-
firstly is it very hot where you live, none of my children would sleep if it was very hot , even now everyone has to have a fan in the bed room.
Also it is possible your baby may be an early teether which can keep them awake.
Anyway I think you may be over the worst in my experience 4-5 weeks is a turning point when babies start to sleep a little bit longer. Also have heard 6 weeks is the age when a lot of babies really take to breastfeeding and it all suddenly starts to fall into place.

Don't worry about having any more babies at the moment, it is lovely to enjoy one at a time. Anyway, in a couple of years you will probably be the one who will be advising new mums and be giving them lots of tips and support. It really is all about experience and self confidence in yourself as a mum.
Best of luck to you and a big kiss to your beautiful baby.

mum26

skintchick wrote: »

Well I tried the orthodontic dummies and the cherry dummies and she really isn;t keen on them at all - she prefers a finger. I don;t know how to make her take one or if there is a different sort we can try - she isn;t keen and theydon't stay in.

I spoke to my HV who said that feeding all night is not a good idea as she will get used to uisng me as a dummy so I have gone back to siting up for night feeds. I'm hoping the hourly feeds are because she is thirsty in teh hot weather or a growth spurt.

My thrush has gone now so the pain is perhaps from having been using the cream unnecessarily as it is quite strong, and from her being a lazy feeder maybe - she said my latch is great but my nipple is flattened when she comes off so perhaps she is not so good?

ANyway, she is much more settled at the moment altough the nights are worse, but perhaps we are on teh road to it getting better.

Still loving all teh tips though as they are very helpful. I have to say though that I am NEVER doing this again. I used to want three kids but I'm sticking at one now cos I can't go through this again. I'ts too awful.

If I remember rightly your nipples go flat and long inside the babies mouth when they are feeding, you can actually get dummies this shape, they are almost wedgey at the end with a longer "stem", Only once or twice did one of my babies break off and leave my nipple that shape, but that was quite enough thankyou, lol! Very freaky looking thing! Also may be wrong on this but I'm sure i've heard that the night feeds are beneficial for stimulating your milk supply, i'm sure someone will know.

I found my subsequent babies all got into a routine quicker as I had nursery school / school run to do so there were fixed points in time when I had to go out, it is harder with your first xxx

skintchick

mum26 wrote: »

If I remember rightly your nipples go flat and long inside the babies mouth when they are feeding, you can actually get dummies this shape, they are almost wedgey at the end with a longer "stem", Only once or twice did one of my babies break off and leave my nipple that shape, but that was quite enough thankyou, lol! Very freaky looking thing! Also may be wrong on this but I'm sure i've heard that the night feeds are beneficial for stimulating your milk supply, i'm sure someone will know.

I found my subsequent babies all got into a routine quicker as I had nursery school / school run to do so there were fixed points in time when I had to go out, it is harder with your first xxx

I think that is right, my HV said similar but referring to all the feeds.

She did say I could do a formula feed at night for a while to help me with sleep but I'm resisting that so far - nice to know it's an option but I really want to stick with it if I can, and not using the thrush cream today hs made a big difference to my nipples so it was obviously hurting them.

Lilia's poo has gone greeny for the last two nappies though so I think she is not getting enough hind milk, but not a lot great deal I can do about that I don't think - I do chivvy her along during feeds but she is quite lazy and does love to fall asleep on me in the evening!