Its the Weekend 15th/16th Aug *Daily Chat*

ZTD

Toto wrote: »

yeah yeah we believe you

only kidding, I know very well how pain can creep up and floor you within no time at all. You should see my medicine cabinet... It reads like Amy Winehouse's christmas list :rotfl:

I stuck mine in a toolbox...

There's not actually much useful stuff in there...I have loads of flavours of cough bottles, and loads of flavours of cough sweets but not all that much after that...

scaredy_cat

Weller,

i don't know what on earth your mum was thinking when she said she was ashamed of you!! :eek: I have read what you have gone thoguh, and to be honest, you deserve to have some joy after the sadness you have experienced!! Don't you dare feel guilty about it!! It is all part of the process, and every one experiences differently.

As you said in your blog, your special person was watching you, and i bet he loved every minute of it, seeing you and your children with smiles on your faces.

:grouphug:

(Land_of)_Maz

Weller.... if that feeling made you happy... then hearing about it has made us twice as happy....

thanks for sharing......

and stop being a lurker!

spud30

Weller, I have to say I agree with Scaredy.

I'm not sure what you're mum is ashamed of

I think you're a fab mum, you loved Andy very much but you have kids and have to carry on for them. You had a great time on holiday - someone call the happiness police :rolleyes:

We're all immensely proud of you and the way you're bringing up the kids :grouphug:
Please dont lurk babes....we miss you xxx

Burlesque_Babe

Weller hun...............lovely to see you as always xx

I see nothing to be ashamed of? You were relaxing and enjoying the world. You were feeling free and doing what you wanted to - you have had a bloody rough ride and you deserve to be happy. You are still close to your lovely husband because you said it yourself - 'a very special person was watching us with a great big smile on his face.'

Who knows - perhaps this feeling for the area will grow and you could maybe move there one day and find warmth, love and peace within yourself.

There is nothing there to feel ashamed of. The people were smiling at you because what they saw was a family having fun and that love of the children will have been evident to see for everyone.

Too many people worry about what others think of us (me included!) and I think you should treasure the memories you've just told us about and try to re-visit the area whenever you can - it sounds as if it could become a very special place to you.

sammy115

Weller, for a minute I wondered what on earth you were going to confess....for an awful minute I thought you were building up to throwing yourself off beachy head. The relief when I read what you had done was immense..

First of all very well done for driving all that way. It takes a lot of emotional strength and I would have had to sleep for a week.

Secondly - I am glad you have finally found the strength to smile again.

I would be proud to be your mum......:grouphug:

Lenza_Quidditch

We haven't met but I've just stopped lurking and started posting. Your post on the chat thread is the most beautiful thing I've seen in a long time - anywhere. I remember reading your posts from ages ago about family giving you strife - just wanted to say that you seem like a lovely person who loves their OH and kids and is loved in return. That's all that matters. x

ZTD

weller711 wrote: »

Sorry if I'm bothering anybody but I just had to write this down as my I've just told my Mum this and she said she was ashamed of me.

Just after schools broke up we had a holiday booked in Cornwall, we went, I drove all the way there - big acheivement as i am scared to death of motorways, we only made two stops- not bad with a 3 year old. Had a fantastic holiday, weather not great but found plenty to do and kids loved it.

One night we went for a meal at a pub/restuarent called Smugglers Den (or maybe Inn) and there was lots of news at the time of people dying whilst surfing etc, we were driving back and saw this sign for "Holywell Beach" so I bundled the kids out of the car and we walked(for what seemed like ages) to this beach, it was beautiful, lovely night but the sea looked so far away but we carried on and suddenly it was like a light bulb moment and I thought "b*gger this, rolled all our jeans up, took off our shoes and ran around the beach, paddling in the sea, DS climbing up sand dunes and laughed like I haven;t laughed in what seems like ages. There were people walking dogs, couples holding hands, surfers coming out of the sea and EVERY ONE of them smiled and laughed at us and I felt free, I had this smile on my face which seemed to be getting bigger by the minute and it suddenly occured to me that the people who were smiling at us, did not even take notice of my weight, my face, my body everything, all, all they saw was us smiling and laughing and enjoying ourselves, they just liked seeing us happy - of course I don't know these people from adam but since that evening I have felt different. We went back to the caravan, tired, wet covered in sand and I felt so happy I could burst, that night was the best I've slept since you know what.

I was free, i was me, i had my beautiful children and somewhere in that beautiful sunset a very special person was watching us with a great big smile on his face. I have never felt like that before and whilst the pain is still there and always will be, I shed tears when I remember that evening because i was so happy and had a "couldn't care less" attitude to whatever people think of me.

I had to share and I didnt know where else to post so apologies - by the way I told my Mum (awful actually and I am ashamed) to p*ss off. Another new thing for me, hope there is lots more

End of another random post. Bye!!

Your mother is ashamed of you because you enjoyed yourself as a family?

I guess she must have told you this on the Transgalactic Communicator - because she's not on this planet.

Life is to be enjoyed. He would never have wanted you to be miserable when he was gone - ever. Remember that.

bank_of_slate

Hi Weller, great to see you posting!
You know how tradgically short life can be and those moments are so important and not to be forgotten.
I'm sure it'll be a memory that the kids will love to remember for ever!
...Linda xx

pepe2008

Weller....those are the days we all live for!

To quote 'Always look on the Bright Side of Life'...

'If life seems jolly rotten, theres something you've forgotten..
and thats to laugh and smile and dance and sing....


xxx