How ironic can it get?

shell_542

DUTR wrote: »

I understand that, what we have to remember is that the NRP or the Dependant child are not included in the thread to give their own view on the circumstance, I always have doubts when one partner is bad mouthing the ex when we are not able to confirm if that is the truth and bits added for viewers to take the poster's side. When I was younger Mum done most of the cooking but if she was out and Dad was the chef for the period, we knew that we were in for an even more yummy meal, what I am saying is there are exceptions to the usual, and the OP has to be mindful that her situation may fall into the exception , it is too early for complacency.

The forum would be empty though if we could only make comments about NRP's, PWC's or children if all are on the threads to have their say



I know what you're saying, I'm not siding with anyone though. You can see from my posts on this thread and I'm a NRP's partner so could easily take the stance that all PWC are money grabbing and evil.

PlayingHardball

There have been some harsh things said here and all totally uneccessary. 'Throw toys out of pram' and comparing OP to her ex who probably committed benefit fraud by saying 'both as bad as each other'.

I don't think the OP should be compared to the ex, remember it was Frustrated who chose to work to support her child on her own, with no help from him or indeed us, the taxpayers. She wasn't, isn't responsible for him or his actions. I probably would have shopped my ex if I knew he was committing fraud, but who knows what her particular circumstances were. I still say she doesn't deserve to be compared to him, not by a long shot!

As someone who is fairly new to this, I'm getting a good idea of who posts the helpful posts with positive suggestions. Not to say we don't all have opinions, but there is a nice way of expressing your opinion and a not so nice way.

PlayingHardball

Frustrated - please keep us posted about your son, and what he decides. Lets hope the grass isn't greener and it doesn't take too long to realise.

LizzieS_2

PlayingHardball wrote: »

There have been some harsh things said here and all totally uneccessary. 'Throw toys out of pram' and comparing OP to her ex who probably committed benefit fraud by saying 'both as bad as each other'.

Both comments were made by me.

"Sisterhood is alive and well" is a toys and pram comment. Why should a female nrp expect all females to agree she shouldn't pay whereas a male nrp should?

I see no difference between some-one committing fraud and some-one with knowledge of a fraud choosing to let them get away with it by not reporting.

I don't think the OP should be compared to the ex, remember it was Frustrated who chose to work to support her child on her own, with no help from him or indeed us, the taxpayers.

She chose to apply for csa - the fact she got little is not through a choice of not applying! By being silent over the supposed fraud, she also bumped up everyone elses tax bill (sure there will be many more who do the same).

I still say she doesn't deserve to be compared to him, not by a long shot!

And his version of events are?

I could understand her cause if she had not been so hypocritical to apply for csa herself.

Gorgeous_George

I hope the OP gets justice. Just as I hope all NRPs are treated fairly.

Sadly, with the CSA involved, I won't hold my breath.

GG

PlayingHardball

Well, it seems GG, we agree, nor will I hold my breath either

PlayingHardball

Lizzie, I didn't take the 'sisterhood' comment as you did, I wouldn't think many others would

LizzieS_2

PlayingHardball wrote: »

Lizzie, I didn't take the 'sisterhood' comment as you did, I wouldn't think many others would

Well I have heard the sisterhood comments before, but they've always been fake threads created by some with nothing better to do other than to create attacks on set individuals, and frankly I've rarely bothered to contribute to those threads. As an aside to the original question, whether the mum is the best in the world and dad the worst, or vice versa, boys have a tendency to look up to their father more.

libbyc3

to the OP - I totally sympathise - am potentially in very similar situation. Ex left the country to avoid paying for his kids 10 years ago, arrears of £24K built up. Arrives back in the UK earlier this year and was picked up by the CSA system and had huge bill slapped on him.
Long story short - has emotionally blackmailed DS to the point that DS is seriously considering going to live with him just so his poor father can go on the dole and get maintanence from me as he just cannot afford to live with 40% of his wages being taken away.
The stress of the whole situation is such that i am at the point of calling the CSA off - lived without support from him for 10 years and kids are 15 and 18 now - just so it is all over.
I know there's not the benefit fraud involved but if I was in the OP's position I would not have reported either - I've very little contact with him since the split and it took all my effort to rebuild my own life and I could not of allowed myself to get involved or concern myself with the goings on of an abusive ex.
No real advice - just virtual support for frustratedmum

LizzieS_2

libbyc3 wrote: »

. Ex left the country to avoid paying for his kids 10 years ago, arrears of £24K built up.

father can go on the dole and get maintanence from me as he just cannot afford to live with 40% of his wages being taken away.

If the 24K is owed to you, you do have a say in it - you can ask for the arrears to be collected at a lower level. If the arrears (or some) are owed to the Secretary of State then irrespective of what you/child do now, those arrears will be collected at the maximum rate until paid