Taking control of my life

Ames

Thank you Buffy, I really liked you in Leeds, although my main memory of you is a big slice of chocolate cake!

I've had a busy busy day. I had my meeting with the health trainer, she was happy with my progress and we're moving to fortnightly meetings now. She's photocopied some recipes for me, and given me some fab leaflets, and she's going to get my prospectuses for the local adult education places.

Then I went to the dentist for the first time in 5 years, I was expecting the worst. I knew I'd had a filling fall out about a year ago, and was fully prepared to have to have that tooth pulled, expecting it to be beyond repair. But including that I just need two fillings, which is so much better than I expected! I'll have to have anaesthetic for one of them though, which always makes the ME worse. Mum used to be a dental nurse and said I should ask for one without adrenaline.

It was funny filling the health form though beforehand, I answered yes to 8 of the questions and had to give explanations for 7 of them, it was getting a bit silly by the end!

Then I went and met my new community links mental health worker, and made an appointment to see her in a couple of weeks.

So lots of things are looking up!

I've also just checked my internet banking. I seem to have spent a lot this last fortnight, and was dreading seeing the balance. But it's healthier for the point in the month than it has been in I don't know how long. Shows how much my ex and sister were costing me!

*Jellie*

An inspirational diary Ames. Sounds like you've made some really good progress.
I find CBT techniques a very useful tool in life and don't use it as much as I should so hopefully you'll inspire me to use it more.
I'd definitely join the flylady thread- just go for the level one stuff to start with. I'm planning on joining in again next week if you'd like to join me. Maybe we can give each other stars on our diaries- one star for each level each day so we can see our progress

Ames

The social worker's just been, and they wont give me any help, because I've developed coping strategies.

They wont help me shower/wash because I've developed a coping mechanism where I shower less than once a week and have to sleep for two hours afterwards and can't do much for two days afterwards.

They wont help me with food preparation/cooking because on a bad day I can microwave a meal, and on good days I can just about use ready prepared food. She didn't say anything about my regular burns from my hands shaking and twitching. Even though on a good day it takes me an hour and a half to 'prepare' a meal that's fine, and showing my independence. Nothing mentioned about my inability to do washing up, maybe I'm supposed to use dirty plates and pans. Also it's acceptable that I skip lunch on bad days because I spend so much time sleeping.

Don't need help with bringing the shopping in and putting it away because I can bring in one bag at a time with rests in between.

Don't need help dressing because on a bad day I can't go out anyway so there's no need to get dressed.

I explained that I wanted help so that my weeks were better - instead of one good day and six bad, if I had help with things they might be all average days, but it doesn't matter.

I really needed the help so that I could go to my meetings and things. Don't know what I'll do about it all now, I can't manage the meetings as things are now. But if I resign from everything and spend all my days in the flat then my mental health will deteriorate quickly and badly.

Don't know where to go now, totally stuck.

LouiseJ

That is terrible Ames and makes me so angry to see such a lovely person being what I would describe as neglected:mad:

I know nothing of how the authorities work but could you ask to be re-assessed as I agree that your mental health will suffer if you dont get any help at all.

Would your doctor be able to fight your corner for you?

Sorry I cant be more help but I am here for support anytime xx

Ames

My GP said she'd support me, and she even referred me which I didn't realise. There's a social worker on here who's offered me help before, so I've pm'd her for advice. All I can think of doing is getting ex and sister round here when SW comes back next week so they can tell her how bad it is.

Thanks for the support, it's good to know that I'm not overreacting and that she's right about me being fine. Ex and sister were worried that they'd put me in a home because I struggle so much!

LouiseJ

Ames wrote: »

My GP said she'd support me, and she even referred me which I didn't realise. There's a social worker on here who's offered me help before, so I've pm'd her for advice. All I can think of doing is getting ex and sister round here when SW comes back next week so they can tell her how bad it is.

Thanks for the support, it's good to know that I'm not overreacting and that she's right about me being fine. Ex and sister were worried that they'd put me in a home because I struggle so much!

I agree that you cannot just accept her decision, its totally outrageous to say that one shower a week is sufficient and that you are OK cause you can bung a ready meal in the microwave:mad:

It is so sad that you are having to go through all of this when you have enough to deal with.

Buffythedebtslayer

I am too mad to even type Ames. That is infreakingsane.

I am sorry. That has to be the stupidst assessment ever.

xx

dancingfairy

That's insane. I've come over to your diary from lurking on the daily thread - I hope you don't mind. I would get your MP involved and would appeal the decision - it's the last thing you need though isn't it a battle with authoritites and if you had the energy to do that you wouldn't be askiung for their help would you. I am soo mad at how people in our country are treated sometimes - you sound genuinely in need of help yet can't get it. :mad::mad:. Good that you have your doctor onside as well as family.
Hope you can get them to reconsider.
df

Ames

To be honest, it's pretty much the same as the last assessment... which led to me moving in the ex who was a gambling addict who had a track record of stealing from me and carried on true to form. This time I'm going to try and fight it though.

Ames

DF, I can't thank you because the button's disappeared! So thank you! That's a good idea, when I've calmed down and spoken to a few other people (sister and sw on here) I might contact my MP and councillor. Luckily, as chair of my local tenants and residents association, they already know me by name! I'll have a think about what to say, and probably post it up on here for advice.